


Astoria

by mellieburns



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:09:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 73,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26515732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mellieburns/pseuds/mellieburns
Summary: Astoria Greengrass is a blood traitor. With her muggleborn friends and aspirations to be an Auror she finds herself struggling to be the perfect pureblood. Draco Malfoy is supposed to be completing the mission of his lifetime, his family and future are on the line, but he can't stop watching Astoria, the human train wreck. He feels obligated to help her, why?Will these two save each other? Or will they be each other's downfall?~~“I hate you,” Astoria whispered, frightening herself with the deadly chill of her own tone.“Astoria,” Draco pleaded, and at that moment, under the moonlight in the owlery, Astoria couldn’t help but feel like he was one punch away from crumbling. She wanted to hit him and hate him and yell at him and punish him for all he’d done but she didn’t want to be the one to destroy him.“You need to go.”“I love you,”“You’re a liar.” Astoria snapped before leaving herself, her chest hurting so bad she thought it was physically going to burst.
Relationships: Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 8
Kudos: 32





	1. Heirloom Tables, French Onion Soup, & Bad Handwriting

Sometimes Mrs. Greengrass would watch her youngest daughter and wonder how on earth she could've raised such a witch. In this instance in particular Astoria was performing illegal underage magic in the back yard, as Mrs. Greengrass spied on the girl from her window. Astoria’s face was contorted in her very typical, impolite scowl as she attempted to cast some spell Mrs. Greengrass couldn’t identify. 

In a fit of frustration, Astoria screamed and kicked a nearby pot full of basil. Mrs. Greengrass shook her head and tutted as if Astoria could hear her disapproval, but instead, Astoria bit her lip, furthered her scowl, and tried again, determined. 

The Greengrass’ lived in a big house, with intimidating doors and ceilings so tall they tended to make people feel small. Yet Astoria’s room was cluttered which made the ceilings feel a little less tall and there were paintings and papers and books everywhere, and although her house-elves would never truly let the room get “messy” it was impossibly cluttered. She had muggle CDs and a boombox that drove her parents nuts and an expanding wardrobe full of clothes, muggle included. 

Astoria also had the privilege of being neighbors with the Malfoy's, although neighbors were a little bit of a stretch seeing as both the Malfoy Manor and the Greengrass Estate each boasted about 10 acres between them. This meant that a walk from front door to front door could take 30 minutes. There were dense woods that separated each of their designated grounds. The Greengrass’s were famous for having a warm and colorful garden and greenhouse, expertly cared for by Mrs. Greengrass. The matron of the estate was a frail and lanky woman, whose charm seldom extended beyond her immediate family. She was a shy woman barely known for anything at all, seeing as she stayed mostly out of the pureblood family scene.

Mr. Greengrass used to be the opposite, a lively boastful man who seemed to tower over others in both size and presence. His bellowing laugh could be heard from rooms away and tended to inspire a little chuckle in oneself. Now he was small, subject to an ancient blood curse that made his skin sallow and eyes hollow. His previous liveliness only lived in memories. The illness set a sort of gloom over the estate that was so strong one could almost say tangible. 

And so, it made sense that day that both daughters had tucked themselves away in their respective rooms, their reprieves from the sadness that hung in the air. Mrs. Greengrass was in her own castle, the greenhouse, where she wrangled with some particularly lively Leaping Toadstools. 

“I’m here for the tutoring session,” Draco Malfoy said to Sorrel, the old house-elf as he apparated, illegally, to the front entranceway of the Greengrass Estate. 

“For missus Astoria?” The elf confirmed and Draco tiredly nodded. The house-elf apparated away without a word and Draco felt a little off-put by the lack of hospitality. It felt weird to see a house-elf so abrupt. 

Less than a minute later, the young witch came pounding down the stairs, a bag full of books banging at her hip and a cauldron in her hands. 

“Want to go to the study?” She asked, huffing a stray strand of hair out of her face and Draco nodded. He followed her quietly as her footsteps echoed off the marble floors and wallpapered walls. She pushed the large green doors open with her back to expose a musty room covered from floor to ceiling with books save for one wall with a massive fireplace flanked by floor to ceiling paneled windows. With both wordless and wandless magic the large curtains of those windows were pushed to the side, allowing light to dance on all the dust particles that had been stirred. Draco couldn’t help but be surprised by the skill that the young witch employed. 

Draco lit the fire with his wand, bringing some warmth to the oddly cold room. 

“My mum told me you barely got Acceptable on your OWL exams for potions.” Draco opened the conversation and Astoria blushed. 

“I just don’t understand.” She complained, “I even studied, and I read all the notes you gave me, and I just.. I choked!” Astoria had a bad habit of furrowing her eyebrows and pouting every time something inconvenienced her, and her terrible grades in Potions tended to be the leading cause. 

“Okay well, we’ll catch up this summer.” Draco said coolly, which from anyone else would’ve been interpreted as a little stern, but Astoria had grown up with the cold boy and knew that anything short of harsh was kind. 

“Did you read the first chapter like I asked?” Draco inquired, sitting down next to the slightly frazzled 14-year-old witch, and Astoria nodded. She opened next year’s textbook to the first chapter and sure enough, there was red ink in the margins and underlines on everything she didn’t understand. 

“Can you tell me the potions that Infusion of Wormwood is needed for?” Draco started and the bright young witch counted the potions she’d memorized with her hand. Draco nodded and continued the line of inquiry, wanting to make sure she’d at least understood all the basics before he had her start brewing potions. He’d heard sordid stories of the Greengrass’ tendency to blow things up or melt cauldrons, how she was famously absentminded and forgetful. He wanted to prolong any catastrophe to the end of their lesson. 

Astoria was biting her lip in concern as her wit-sharpening potion turned a concerning hot pink as opposed to the intended purple. She looked over her steaming cauldron to an exhausted-looking Draco Malfoy who’d fallen asleep with his usually slick backed hair all ruffled from his previous bout of restlessness. He’d been asleep for over an hour at this point, passing out almost as soon as Astoria had started the potion and stopped talking. She frowned at the boy and found herself unable to wake him up, he looked so tired. She turned back to her potion, which during her distraction had turned a frightening dark red and began to overflow the cauldron. 

“Draco!” Astoria cried, waking him up anyway. He jumped at her cry and looked around the room disorientated for a second before settling on the potion that was overflowing onto the ancient heirloom table and ornate parquet flooring. The smell was terrible, and he immediately felt embarrassment for the girl. With some wordless magic, the spill was cleaned and contained, and the potion was emptied from the pot. 

“What did you do?” Draco demanded, his voice laced with cruelty and Astoria felt tears prickling at her eyes. 

“I don’t know, you were asleep and I got distracted and I just-“ She sucked air in harshly, preparing for an outright tantrum but Draco grabbed her arm. 

“Don’t cry.” He commanded angrily and Astoria froze for a second before tears began streaming even more, though unaccompanied by sobs. 

“Merlin’s beard.” Draco cursed frustrated at the young emotional witch. 

“What’s going on here?” Daphne had opened the door to the study during the chaos and was surveying the scene with her arms crossed against her chest. 

“I just messed up a potion.” Astoria mumbled, deeply ashamed. Daphne jutted her chin irately. 

“Isn’t that why Draco’s here? To make sure you don’t burn down our whole house because you can’t follow simple directions?” Daphne sneered. Draco’s mouth opened, preparing to defend himself for falling asleep. 

“He was reading ahead and the potion was too purple so I put more armadillo bile in when he wasn’t looking and then I-“ Astoria’s voice was getting more hysterical and faster as she fabricated the lie. 

“Merlin Astoria. Just follow the directions, and if you can’t then stop taking potions. No one’s making you take the class next year.” Daphne bit sharply. 

“But mum-“ Astoria started. 

“Just because Mum was good at something doesn’t mean you have to be too. It’s not like you’re going to do anything that needs potions anyway.” The older sister sneered. 

“To be an Auror-“ Astoria started again, this time her voice a lot calmer and less emotional. 

“Astoria.” Daphne cut her off irately, “I hate to break it to you but you’re not going to be an Auror. I don’t know why Mum or Dad continues to let you think that, but they’re just lying to you. When you grow up, you’ll see that you’re just going to marry off and be head of some pureblood household, just like our Mum, just like Draco’s mum. The sooner you realize that the sooner you stop wasting everyone’s time and breath trying to teach you how to do something you’re just not good at. It doesn’t matter Astoria. Brush up on some domestic charms or something.” Daphne’s tone had somewhat softened at the end of her lecture, but it was still harsh. The older sister stormed out of the room her shiny and kempt blonde hair swishing in the wind after her. 

“Thanks for the lesson Draco.” Astoria said coldly and pointedly, she started packing up her books and shoving them back in her bag. 

“Astoria-“ The young wizard said, completely lost. He’d witnessed plenty of family drama and cruelty in the week he’d been home from Hogwarts this summer, but something about the sharp contrast of the sister’s relationship before this year and after made his heart sink. 

“Daphne’s right.” The girl sniffled, rubbing under her delicate and upturned nose. Daphne was right Draco thought sadly. Astoria didn’t need potions to graduate, and Draco guiltily knew she would never be an Auror. 

“I just… I know I’m smart, I know I can do well in Potions.” Astoria said with a determined streak in her voice, “I got straight O’s in everything but Herbology and Potions. And I thought my mum would be proud, but she just cared about my two A’s.” Astoria overshared looking down at her stuff. “If I just get good enough grades, then I can get a job straight out of school, and then I can at least say I did something before I have kids and my life becomes them. I just need to be able to say that I did something.” She jutted her chin frustratedly. 

“You know, a lot of people would say raising witches and wizards who contribute to society would be everything.” Draco surprised himself with his comforting tone, but the young witch wasn’t having any of it. 

“Who says that?” Astoria’s hazel eyes bore holes in Draco’s skull as she expectantly awaited an answer. 

“Uh—what?” Draco was caught off guard. 

“Who says that? Honestly, I mean at least who believes it?” Astoria huffed petulantly, not really asking Draco anymore, more the universe she was cursed to exist in. “Did you know my mum wrote a book, on subaquatic botanical mysteries?” 

“What?” Draco’s brain was struggling to keep up with Astoria’s train of thought. 

“Yeah, I mean she wrote it under a pen name because her family didn’t want anyone to know it was her, you know being a Fawley and everything, but she wrote it. And it mattered, and people still read it, and it’s even used as required reading at Hogwarts sometimes.” Astoria rambled. “She did something that mattered before she was forced to marry and have kids.” 

“Astoria…” Draco trailed off; gobsmacked by the way the young witch was acting. Sure, he’d never seen her display an inclination to wanting kids or a family or an extravagant pureblood wedding, but he’d never seen her display such a level of disdain. 

“Thanks for the lesson Draco.” The young witch repeated. “I’ll be more attentive next time.” She added softly, clearly still not having given up. 

“Don’t bother reading chapter two. Clearly the information is not the problem, it’s making the potions that you’re struggling with.” Draco mumbled before walking drowsily out of the Estate and apparating back home, his head still spinning from the events that had occurred at the Greengrass estate. 

___ 

That night the Greengrass women sat at the end of the long formal dining table, the head seat painfully empty. 

“How was your lesson today?” Mrs. Greengrass asked Astoria. 

“She almost burnt down the study.” Daphne interjected before Astoria could answer. 

“I just put too much Armadillo bile in, Draco said he’d help me more next time.” Astoria lied quietly, looking down at her plate. The mother simply nodded quietly, not sure what to say to either daughter despite disapproving of their behavior. Astoria felt a pang of guilt at disappointing her mother and Daphne couldn’t help but feel a little glimmer of smugness. 

Astoria pushed her spoon into the French onion soup, gathering the warm broth and gruyere cheese. She savored the salty warm goodness. 

“You know, I’ve been going on this no dairy diet since I read in Witch Weekly that dairy makes your arse massive and give you spots on your face and it’s been working wonders.” Daphne said motioning towards her plate of salad with her fork. “You should really try it Astoria, it’d do you good I’d bet.” She tacked on at the end pointedly looking at the fresh puberty induced spot on Astoria’s chin that the younger sister had clearly been fretting over. 

Astoria felt rage explode in her chest and she abruptly stood up, her chair screeching against the marble floors. Astoria turned away and stomped halfway across the room before their mother spoke up. 

“Girls.” The mother said sadly. She struggled at finding the right words and knew she’d failed when all she could think of was “Astoria please sit back down”. Astoria struggled to swallow the stab of hurt she felt at her mother’s dismissal of Daphne’s biting comment but nonetheless sat back down and pushed the soup around in the bowl for the rest of dinner. Both sisters refused the main course and dessert, leaving the frail and thin mother to slowly eat the meal alone. 

_Dear Gwen,_

Astoria’s handwriting was infamously scribbly and a lot of her letters ended up looking the same, but she knew her best friend would be able to decipher the code. She scribbled the letter at her desk in her bedroom, one leg folded beneath her and her face pressed against the desk, looking at the letter sideways. 

_Daphne is being a downright hag and I am counting down the days to London. I absolutely cannot bare her anymore, and my first Potion lesson turned out to be a massive disaster. Everything sucks and I hate my family and I hate summer and I just can’t wait for it to be over._

_I’ve been reading up on Muggle Studies so I can blend in with you. I still have the clothes you got me for Christmas, and I can’t wait to wear them. I wrote a list of things I want to try when I stay with you, and I’ll attach it in this letter. Hopefully, we can manage some of them._

_I miss you so much, please write back as soon as you can._

_Things I’d like to try:_  
1\. Smoothies (I heard muggles blend fruit into juice with ice! Sounds splendid!)  
2\. A concert (preferably The Longpigs, but I’m not really sure if they’ll be in London when I am? How would I find that out?)  
3\. I heard you have giant rooms where you watch moving pictures that last for an hour? With sound? I’d like to see that I think.  
4\. The store where you bought those red licorice candies that always taste good and don’t move around. I forgot what they’re called but I absolutely MUST get more of them.

With the list carefully added to the letter Astoria tied to the envelope to Bertie, her ancient and reliable black owl. With a lively but aged hoot the owl was off into the night.

The young witch sat in her bed and stared at the painted canopy above her head, looking at all the little vines and flowers someone had illustrated on the fabric. She bit her lip and imagined what it’d be like to be another girl in another family and felt a bout of self-loathing set in. Astoria was a spoilt brat the young concluded about herself before turning over in her bed and staring out the window to the greenhouse, where she could see the light of little bugs illuminate the many exotic plants her mother tended to carefully. 

Maybe tomorrow would be different, Astoria mused.


	2. Sarracenia, Scarab Beatles, & Tea Cookies

Astoria was an early riser, which worked towards her benefit in avoiding Daphne. Whereas in previous summers Astoria would awake and struggle to resist going down to breakfast until her older sister woke, she’d recently developed the habit of tumbling down the stairs much earlier. This meant that Astoria would frequently run into her mother drinking tea and eating toast with sprinkles on it. 

“Good morning dear,” Mrs. Greengrass said sagely the morning after Draco’s first lesson, as she flipped through an old book on carnivorous plants, “I’m repotting my Sarracenia this morning if you’d care to join.” Astoria’s mother crunched down on her toast, and a few chocolate sprinkles broke free from the hazelnut spread and fell down to her plate. 

“Do you have gloves?” Astoria asked, still a little scared from the time one of them had opened their red petals to reveal teeth and had bitten down on a younger Astoria’s thumb. 

“I’m sure somewhere in the shed,” Mrs. Greengrass vaguely promised, and Astoria smiled skeptically, Mrs. Greengrass didn’t even wear earmuffs while repotting mandrakes, Astoria knew her mother better than to find it likely the old Witch had any sort of protective gear at all. 

“I might stay inside and read up on Potions for my next lesson.” Astoria made up an excuse to salvage her appendages. 

“You got an A in Herbology too.” Mrs. Greengrass muttered disapprovingly. 

“I don’t need herbology to be an Auror though.” Astoria pointed out and Mrs. Greengrass said nothing. She took another bite of her toast and more sprinkles fell to the plate. 

Astoria spent the next six days leading up to Draco’s arrival reading and rereading chapter two against Draco’s recommendations and wishing she’d had friends who could come to the manor and interrupt the depressing monotony of summer. Sometimes her boredom reached levels where she almost wished Daphne would emerge from her room and say something to her, even if it was cruel. 

In the evening she’d picked up the habit of grabbing whatever potion she was reading at the time and sitting in her father’s medical room. He was mostly unconscious; he didn’t even stir when Astoria had tripped and kicked over a potted plant spilling dirt all over the floor on the second night. Only twice the whole week leading up to Draco’s second lesson did the father open his eyes, one time blankly as if the world didn’t exist, and the second time he looked straight as his daughter and frowned. Astoria told herself it meant nothing. 

Sometimes when passages were particularly interesting, or if she thought her father might especially like it, she’d read it aloud, and sometimes she’d even pause and look over at the sickly man, expecting a response that she still knew would never come. Astoria’s mother approved of the time she was spending with her dying father, and once even left a short story that Mr. Greengrass had once read to the girls when they were younger. 

On the third day of inescapable solitude Astoria found herself inside Mrs. Greengrass’ humid greenhouse, her hands behind her back. 

“Mother?” The young witch prodded. 

“Yes?” Mrs. Greengrass had sensed her daughter’s presence but didn’t turn to acknowledge her until the young witch had addressed the mother. Still, Mrs. Greengrass didn’t stop trimming her Shrivelfig. 

“I was thinking, is it possible for me to continue my celesta lessons?” Astoria asked, referring the bell piano that sat unused in the drawing room. 

“I thought you hated the celesta?” Her mother said evenly, her focus still intently on the shrivelfig. 

“It might be nice to have something else to do this summer.” Astoria supplied looking down at her feet and her mother nodded quietly. 

“Alright then, I’ll floo Mr. Warble.” Her mother said finally, and Astoria turned to leave the greenhouse. “On the condition that you invite Lizzy Burke and Ansley Nott over.” Her mother tacked on at the end and Astoria’s eyes grew wide at the meddling. 

“Mother…” she trailed off, unsure how to explain Lizzy and Ansley’s relationship. “We’re not friends.” The young witch wined. Her mother turned to look at the girl knowingly. 

“Astoria, one day, after school, those girls are going to be all that you’ll have.” Mrs. Greengrass stated firmly. 

“I don’t understand.” Astoria said furrowing her eyebrows into a pout. 

“You need to start befriending more purebloods. Ever since you went to Hogwarts you’ve become more and more out of place at the dinners and the balls and the dances. One day those will be your life and you don’t want to feel out of place in your own life.” Mrs. Greengrass said solemnly. 

Astoria stared at her mother and her plants and solitude life. Astoria’s gut wrenched and tears began gathering in the corner of her big hazel eyes, she loved her mother so much, she looked up to the woman, but it suddenly became glaringly obvious that she was unhappy. The young witch said nothing but suddenly turned on her heel to leave the Greenhouse. 

“I’ll floo Mr. Warble this evening. After Draco’s lesson might be a nice time to have Miss Burke and Miss Nott over?” Mrs. Greengrass called after the sad teen witch. 

Astoria stared at the floo in their grand room, the powder in her hand. She took a deep breath and bit her lip and then exhaled. She almost threw the floo powder in the fireplace but then she stopped. She felt her heart rate spike and internally rolled her eyes at herself. Huffing loudly and irately the young witch narrowed her eyes and threw the floo in the fireplace. 

Thankfully it was Mrs. Burke who answered the floo. 

“Hello Astoria,” The older woman said a little surprised and Astoria put on her most practiced sickly sweet smile. 

“Hello Mrs. Burke, I was wondering if Lizzy would like to come to tea on Tuesday afternoon.” Astoria asked with a false kindness. 

“At the Greengrass estate?” Mrs. Burke asked curiously, and Astoria nodded politely. 

“Yes, probably in the gardens.” Astoria supplied. 

“That sounds lovely, I’ll let her know.” Mrs. Burke answered, and Astoria gratefully nodded. 

“Wonderful.” Astoria said before clearing the floo. She took another centering breath before flooing Ansley’s home. This time her intended audience appeared at the floo, Ansley’s hair a little messy, probably from quidditch. 

“Astoria?” The young witch said a bit rudely, clearly caught off guard at her classmate’s appearance in her floo. 

“Hullo Ansley,” Astoria said, a little embarrassed by Ansley’s shock. 

“Hullo… what’s up?” Once again abruptly, Astoria was a little surprised by Ansley’s abrasiveness but figured it was probably well deserved. Astoria hadn’t flooed her classmate since their first year at Hogwarts, and now they were starting their fourth year. 

“I’m having tea in my gardens at the Greengrass estate on Tuesday and I was wondering if you’d like to join?” Astoria bit the inside of her cheek in anticipation as she looked at Ansley’s confused face. 

“Just us?” Ansley said apprehensively. 

“No, Lizzy will be there too.” Astoria said quietly, wishing she could prolong the façade she managed with Lizzy’s mom.

“I’ll have to check with my mum, but I imagine she’ll be pleased. What time?” Ansley asked. 

“3. In the afternoon.” Astoria answered and both witches nodded goodbye. 

As soon as there was something to dread the rest of the week passed by quickly. Astoria’s celesta lessons were scheduled for Mondays and Thursdays, and she’d already been given a piece she was to practice to perfection before Mr. Warble arrived for his first lesson on Thursday. 

Astoria found it easy with her two new challenges to stay busy, between documenting every step to brew every potion listed in next year’s textbooks from chapter one and two, to practicing perhaps one of the most unnecessarily odd and complicated celesta sonata’s she’d ever heard, there was plenty to do. Plus, if Astoria ever got bored, she could always wonder by Daphne’s room to eavesdrop on Daphne and Pansy gossiping over the floo Daphne had insisted be put in her room. 

On Tuesday morning Astoria woke with nerves and found herself down in the kitchen earlier than her mother for the first time. 

“Soft-boiled egg and a croissant?” Sorrell the house elf asked. Typically, these questions were just to start the young witch thinking about what she’d like for breakfast as she typically switched it up. 

“May I please have toast with hazelnut spread and sprinkles? And some tea… peppermint please.” Astoria hadn’t had her mother’s favorite breakfast since she’d first gone to Hogwarts and discovered most wizards and witches don’t put sprinkles on their toast. And even though magically for the first month, as if someone knew, sprinkles and hazelnut spread had appeared in front of the shy first year every morning, she’d been too embarrassed to eat them. 

The toast and tea appeared in front of Astoria seconds later and she took a small bite just like her mother always did, and sprinkles fell to the plate. She sipped her perfectly warm tea and looked out large French doors to the small patio that was attached to the kitchen. In the fall when the heat was a little less severe Astoria knew her mom would eat breakfast out there. 

Mrs. Greengrass walked into the room so quietly it startled Astoria. 

“Good morning dear.” The mother said as she sat across from her daughter, her own toast and tea momentarily appearing at her plate. 

“Good morning mother.” Astoria responded, the mother looked fondly down to the daughter’s plate of the remaining sprinkles and bit into her own toast. 

“Have you told the house elves about your tea yet?” Mrs. Greengrass asked. 

“Yes, I’m having it out in the gardens, and I asked for Treacle Tarts and Macarons.” Astoria told her mother still sipping the tea. 

“Last I was at Perrie’s Pastries they had some delicious tea cookies; I could ask Sorrell to grab some if you’d like?” Astoria’s Mother offered kindly. 

“That’d be nice.” Astoria supplied. 

“I have something for you to wear, I’ll have the elves lay it out on your bed for you. You might want to try charming your hair and make-up.” The mother instructed kindly; Astoria nodded surprised her mother had gone through this much effort for anything besides her Greenhouse. Nonetheless the two fell into a comfortable silence following the brief conversations until both finished the meal and went their respective ways. 

The outfit her mother had promised was laid out on Astoria’s bed. A fine light green cashmere cardigan, and light high waisted linen pants. There was a silk top to go under the cardigan but, deviously, Astoria decided to neglect it. She put on her famous family delicate family crest golden necklace, and some black espadrilles on and looked in the mirror. 

She looked mature, she realized, almost refined, and definitely older. However, her dark brown hair had a lump in the back from sleeping and she realized that a little makeup to help the spot on her chin might be helpful. The young witch dug through the boxes under her vanity that had been gifted by relatives, rather pointedly, over the years. She found the book of vanity charms, and another box full of wizarding make up in viles and jars. She laid them all out on the vanity in front of her and bit her lip in concentration. 

Astoria practiced the wand movements multiple times, something probably excessive for someone who was as good at charms as she was. Still she felt out of place and ill-equipped to carry out this magic. With perfect form she cast the charm and stared in horror at the result. 

Her hair was in a pouf, like something out of the 80s and her make-up was over the top to say the least. She looked like a clown, and immediately tears sprung to the young witches eyes. She gripped her fists and instinctively stormed into Daphne’s room. 

“Daphne!” Astoria cried out as she barged in, her older sister looked at her in shock. She was lounging under her open window reading a copy of Teen Witch weekly. The older sister’s face softened a little as she stared at her crying mess of a sister. 

“Oh, Astoria, what did you do?” Daphne said uncharacteristically kindly, it almost felt like a flash from years prior. 

“I’m having Ansley and Lizzy over for tea and I tried to do some glamour charms and this happened I-“ Astoria started on a hysterical tangent. 

“Okay, okay, calm down. I’ll fix it.” Daphne said and with an expert wave Astoria’s hair and face returned to its previous state. “What were you picturing when you cast the charm?” Daphne asked softly to her younger sister whose nose was running and eyes were puffy. 

“I wasn’t – I didn’t picture anything..” She mumbled. 

“Well you have to picture something, or else the charm will make you look like … that.” Daphne informed her younger sister. “You’re lucky nothing worse happened, do you have something in mind?” Daphne asked and Astoria shook her head meekly. Daphne mumbled two charms and Astoria felt her hair change and makeup appear on her face. 

“Go look in the mirror and tell me if you want something else, okay?” Daphne said and Astoria looked in the ornate mirror, she looked… glowing? Daphne had done an incredible job, her skin was warm and dewey, her eyeshadow was a barely-there gold shimmer and her lips looked extra plump and soft. Astoria’s typically messy brown hair was straight and smooth, and parted in the middle, something that also seemed to mature the young witch. 

“Daphne- I… thank you.” Astoria said genuinely, feeling appreciative to her older sister for the first time in months. Daphne looked Astoria up and down and felt a stab of something cruel in chest. 

“Yeah, whatever.” Daphne bit coldly and Astoria frowned at the sudden change. It almost felt like the sister she loved had been dangled in front of her for a second before cruelly getting yanked away. Sorrell the house elf appeared in the bedroom. 

“Mr. Malfoy is waiting for you” He addressed Astoria before abruptly leaving. Astoria didn’t even turn to bid her sister farewell before running out of the room and barreling down the stairs. The young witch struggled to stop her momentum and almost slammed into Draco, she slowed a little bit at the last second, allowing Draco to gracefully catch Astoria. Draco’s long and slender fingers rested at the witch’s waist, his ring finger on his left hand touching the soft skin that had been exposed as Astoria’s cardigan rose and her pants fell a bit. 

“You really should take those stairs slower.” Draco mumbled, unsurprised that the young witch had almost fell into him but surprised by his reaction to holding her this close. He didn’t want to let go. 

“Sorry I didn’t want to keep you waiting.” Astoria said breathlessly, her wide hazel eyes looking up at Draco’s cold grey ones. Draco didn’t know how to respond but felt his control slipping away. He wanted to do things he knew he shouldn’t, he stepped away, his hands falling to his side.

This didn’t help much as now he was staring at a too-well-dressed Astoria Greengrass. Her thin cardigan showed off just a little too much to be deemed appropriate by a pureblood mother but her loose linen pants were the pinnacle of grace and elegance. Her hair was straightened in a way he’d never seen it, and she looked like something out of a portrait, ethereal was the only word that came to his blank mind.

“Why are you dressed like that?” Draco had no idea by what defense mechanism his voice had decided to come off as cruel and judgmental, but his intonation was harsh to say the least. 

“I um..” The younger witch blushed furiously, she looked at her feet for a brief second before gathering the words in her head and on her tongue “I have tea with Ansley and Lizzie today.” She mumbled and Draco furrowed his brows. 

“I thought you were only friends with mudbloods.” He said casually and Astoria’s eyes flashed fearfully at Draco. “Is that supposed to be a secret?” He sneered, unsure of why he suddenly felt the need to belittle Astoria. 

“It’s not… just…” It was supposed to be a secret Draco realized; he couldn’t imagine how that could’ve possibly happened as it was all the pureblood mothers gossiped about. How a member of the sacred 28, even more a Greengrass had got sorted into Slytherin and subsequently befriended the only two mudbloods it seemed in the whole house. The gossip was always accompanied by some dig at the reclusive and eccentric Greengrass mother and the decaying health of the father who probably would’ve reigned the girls in better. 

“Let’s just get on with the lesson then.” Draco said, feeling suddenly terrible about what he said to the young witch. Astoria bit her bottom lip and nodded, complacently trailing after Draco as they walked to the study. This time Astoria’s books were already spread across the table haphazardly, quills and ink were strewn across the table and Astoria blushed at the mess but Draco seemed impressed. 

“Did you rewrite all the instructions to Skele-grow? With notes?” Draco taking it upon himself to flip through Astoria’s notebook. 

“I did it for all the potions listed in chapter 1 and 2.” Astoria said and Draco nodded. 

“Okay well let’s brew some Skele-grow then.” He grumbled and watched carefully as Astoria went to the cupboard behind them and grabbed the ingredients. 

“Careful with the Scarab beetles. You don’t want to chop them like that.” Draco said shortly and Astoria looked up at him, hopeful for more guidance. “You want to crush them, and it’s better to do with your fingers I think, because you don’t want them too fine.” Draco added and Astoria crushed the beetles with her hands exactly how Draco described. 

“Good.” Draco praised cooly and a small smile appeared on Astoria’s face. With close supervision Astoria followed the steps to brew the potion which still ended up a little funky. 

“Something must be wrong with your cauldron, that’s the only explanation.” Draco huffed peeking under at the flame. “How hot do you set it to?” Draco quizzed his hands on his hips. 

“Erm…” Astoria mumbled. “I just put it on medium usually…” She trailed off, completely unsure of what Draco was talking about. She watched as he flipped through the pages of her notes and ran a hand through his slicked back hair frustratedly, he shut the notebook and tossed it across the table, sliding the actual textbook closer. 

“Merlins beard.” Draco cursed and shook his head. “Do you see this flame, you see how small it is?” Draco asked angrily pointing at the textbook and Astoria shrunk away. Immediately, Draco felt guilty, and thinking about how cursing at her last week had inspired tears and how rude his comment earlier about her friends had been he took a deep centering breath. 

“I guess…” Astoria mumbled. 

“Have you ever looked at this legend before, the expected amount of time the potion will take, how hot to brew it at? Because you didn’t copy it into your notebook.” Draco tried his best to be soft and not condescending, but the blunder seemed pretty basic. Astoria was going into fourth year, she’d gotten A’s on her Potions exam, surely you couldn’t get even get an A if you didn’t know to look at the legend for flame size, Draco thought. 

“I mean, I didn’t realize, I don’t usually look, I guess it just didn’t seem important-“ Astoria was stumbling over her excuses because in reality, she’d no idea that was what the flame meant. She’d only paid attention when the flame size was specifically mentioned in the directions. 

“Astoria…” Draco said incredulously. 

“I’m sorry! I just never realized!” She exclaimed upset and Draco could help but halfway grin as the absurdity of the situation dawned on him. 

“I can’t believe you even got an A. I can’t believe you passed your first year exam!” Draco exclaimed with a snort. 

“Hey, that’s such a small part-“ 

“I’m amazed you haven’t blown Hogwarts up-“ 

“Hey! Give me some credit-“ 

“That’s like the first thing Snape-“ 

“Draco!” Astoria exclaimed, somewhat in a good mood now and also shutting Draco up. 

“Astoria?” Draco said back, smiling lightheartedly for the first time since being home. 

“Don’t make fun of me. You’re my tutor, any embarrassment I make is on you.” Astoria spoke in a pretend haughty tone. 

“I’ve been your tutor for a week.” Draco deadpanned. 

“And?” Astoria said crossing her arms. 

“Merlin.” Draco hummed shaking his head. 

They made three potions that day together, another skele-grow, calming drought and pepper-up potion. By no means were these potions perfect but things were looking up for Astoria after she’d discovered the guidance of heating your cauldron. They were engaged in a verbal inquisition about the uses of Bezoar when Sorrell the house elf appeared. 

“Missus Astoria?” The house elf timorously asked, clearly spooked by something. 

“Yes Sorrell?” Astoria said kindly. 

“Missus Nott and Missus Burke are here.” The house elf announced before abruptly apparating away. 

“I guess that’s my cue.” Draco said standing up. 

Astoria stood up with him and they walked to the Foyer together where the two girls were standing whispering to each other. Draco leaned in for a quick hug and kissed Astoria on the cheek as if bidding farewell in public, which it certainly felt like with Ansley and Lizzy’s intent gaze on the two. Draco nodded at both the girls. 

“Lizzy, Ansley.” Draco said politely before leaving the house. 

“What was Draco Malfoy doing here?” Lizzy asked immediately, not one to miss out on pureblood family gossip. 

“He tutors me in potions.” Astoria said coldly. 

“Why? Are you taking it next year?” Lizzy interrogated. 

“Yeah.” 

“But you got an A,” This time it was Ansley, she stumbled over her words a little like she couldn’t wait to get them out, “And O’s in like at least 8 other subjects.” Ansley tacked on disbelieving. 

“Yeah but I wanted an O in potions so…” Astoria trailed off, wondering how her grades had suddenly become such common knowledge among pureblood families. 

“But you suck at potions.” Lizzy snorted. 

“Like you’re any better.” Astoria snapped harshly, not really enjoying the need to justify every single one of her choices to two girls she knew would just tear them apart. There was an awkward silence after Astoria’s outburst, and the young witch used it to take 3 deep breaths. 

“Let’s go outside.” Astoria said suddenly, turning on her heel and leading the girls through the home. Just like her father always used to, Astoria took the long way to get outside, purposefully leading them past the most esteemed portraits the family owned and through their extensive and elaborate ballroom. If either girl had been friends Astoria would’ve just taken them through the kitchen. 

Once outside it was still a longer walk to where Astoria had planned the tea. The girls quietly meandered through the rose garden and under the large cherry blossom tree then they finally made it to old pool surrounded by malformed statues, overlooking the orchards. The sweet scent of peaches and cherries wafted through the humid summer breeze across the old stone pool and to the iron dinning set the three young witches sat at. Astoria could sense their wonder at the beauty. 

Sorrell apparated with an elaborate board of pastries and some teacups. He said nothing and then disappeared. 

“Odd houself you have. He barely speaks at all, rather rude if you ask me.” Lizzy said haughtily and Astoria rolled her eyes. 

“House elves are better unheard and unseen.” Astoria bit out. A lot of the sacred 28 saw having house elves as a status symbol; only those families old enough and wealthy enough still had house elves. They followed their masters around in public as punching bags, to be shown off and appraised. Astoria’s mother believed in keeping them hidden and at home, everyone knew how rich and old the Greengrass’s were anyway, no need in showing it off. Lizzy snorted at the comment, but Ansley stayed oddly quiet. 

Astoria took a sip of her tea and grabbed a macaron. She smiled when she realized someone, most likely her mother had filled in on her order of just treacle tarts and macarons, because in addition to treacle tarts and macarons there were pumpkin scones, croissants, slices of cake, and dozen other treats and sweets. 

“These treacle tarts are amazing.” Ansley said after swallowing a rather large bite for a lady. She sipped her tea and looked out the pool. “Do you ever go swimming?” Ansley asked, clearly not enjoying the awkward silence. 

“No.. not really.” 

“We should do this again and bring swimsuits, it’s so pretty here and I bet that’d be the best way to lounge around.” Ansley said kindly. 

“That sounds really nice.” Astoria felt obligated to say, taking a small bite of a pistachio macaroon. 

“I’ve been trying so hard to get tan this summer, but it’s just so hot I end up sweating to death and giving up before I get any color at all.” Ansley said, still carrying the conversation, she tilted her head back and looked up at the sun. 

“Totally, it’s been weirdly hot lately.” Astoria added, acting as if she’d left the manor more than a couple times since coming home. 

“It’s because of the muggles. They’re ruining the planet and calling it “global warming”.” Lizzy snorted. “More like planet killing, dumping all that oil and pollutants into the ocean.” She added angrily. 

“I’m sure they’ll find a way to fix it. They’re weirdly resourceful.” Ansley said back. 

“Hopefully before wildfires burn us all alive.” Lizzy rolled her eyes. 

“Did you hear about Mr. Malfoy?” Ansley asked Astoria, “How do you think it’s going to go?” She added looking expectantly at the young witch. 

“Hmm?” Astoria asked, confused. 

“He was caught fighting for you-know-who at the Ministry. He’s going on trial soon.” Lizzy informed Astoria. 

“Draco’s dad was at the fight in the Ministry?” Astoria clarified her eyes widening. 

“Yeah, my dad says he might go away to Azkaban for protecting our way of life.” Lizzy huffed. 

“Oh, c’mon Lizzy, he’s not going to Azkaban.” Ansley waved the girl off, “He didn’t do anything wrong!” She added. “My dad said the trial’s just a formality, you know the Ministry can’t be seen being on “our side” for some stupid reason.” Ansley huffed as if it was the biggest injustice in the world. 

“Didn’t death eaters fire unforgivable’s at the ministry?” Astoria asked quietly.

“Hm?” Lizzy asked surprised by the line of inquisition. “I don’t know, maybe? I’m sure it was in self-defense.” She tacked on at the end. 

“Right.” Astoria mumbled, she vowed to ask her Mother about it later. “Did you hear that Umbridge won’t be at Hogwarts anymore?” Astoria changed the subject. 

“I think you’re probably the only Slytherin happy about that.” Ansley laughed. 

“Oh come on, she was the worst professor ever you have to admit it. Writing about DADA instead of using magic? It was a pure waste of time.” Astoria huffed. 

“Yeah but she was our only hope at winning the house cup.” Ansley shot back. 

“The way she deducted points from Gryffindor,” Lizzy sighed with pleasure, “Like something out of a dream.” 

The girls found conversation surprisingly easy. They stuck to small talk, ignored almost anything of substance going on in the world, pretended past feuds had never happened and disregarded the subject of Astoria’s muggleborn friends. Aside from the typical muggle hating comments here and there Astoria found the girls presence almost pleasant and it wasn’t too hard faking her enjoyment. Eventually a couple hours had passed, and it was time for the pureblood witches to head home. 

“We should make this a regular thing,” Ansley said kindly. “I meant what I said earlier, I’ve been itching to go for a swim all summer long.” 

“It’s been summer for like 2 weeks.” Lizzy snapped. 

“2 weeks is enough time to desperately need to go for a swim.” Ansley shrugged. 

“Yeah I’ll talk to my mother about it.” Astoria said toeing the edge of the ancient oriental rug in the great room, where the girls were bidding their farewells. 

“I’m sure she’ll say yes, I bet she’s delighted you’ve decided to start keeping better company.” Lizzy said pointedly at Astoria, and the tolerant witch couldn’t help but let her blood boil. 

“My mother doesn’t have any problem with the company I’ve been keeping.” Astoria snapped. Lizzy simply took the comment in stride and let out an unlady like snort. 

“Sure.” Lizzy said under her breath, before flooing home. 

“Ciao!” Ansley said before flooing herself home. Astoria stared at the fireplace for a brief minute after the girls left, and turned on her heel, she felt pretty confident on where she could find her mother.


	3. Az-ka-ban, Fairy Wine, and a St. Mungo's Nurse

“You didn’t tell me Draco’s father was going on trial.” Astoria said to her mother once she located her in the greenhouse. 

“It’s not important dear.” Mrs. Greengrass said quietly. 

“Lizzy said there’s a chance he might go to Azkaban. That seems pretty important to me.” Astoria shot back. 

“He probably will go to Azkaban dear. He fired an unforgivable and there’s proof.” Mrs. Greengrass told her daughter softly. 

“That’s-that’s” Astoria sputtered, part of her was going to say unfair but it was fair, that was the law and nobody was exempt. “Is he a death eater?” Astoria asked quietly. 

“I don’t know Astoria.” Her mother said tiredly. “It’s not really our place to judge.” She tacked on at the end. 

“What does that mean?” Astoria sputtered. 

“Dear, this isn’t really the time or place to have this conversation.” Astoria’s mother had stopped planting and instead was rubbing her temples as if a migraine was coming on. Part of Astoria twinged with guilt, but a larger part felt anger flare. 

“Then when is? I’m tired of acting like muggles are some forbidden topic of discussion! I’m friends with muggleborns mother! I care about what happens to them!” Astoria’s voice became shrill at the end. 

“Your father supported you-know-who in the first war.” Astoria’s mother said sharply. “You know his stance on mudbloods.” 

“But he doesn’t have a dark mark!” Astoria refused to believe her father could have possibly been such a villain. 

“Astoria, he supported him in other ways. Monetarily and when he worked in the ministry, he turned a blind eye. He wants what the Dark Lord wants.” Mrs. Greengrass admitted sadly. 

“Do you?” Astoria spat. 

“Do I what?” Her mother asked, tired of the conversation. 

“Do you want what the Dark Lord wants?” Astoria demanded. 

“It’s complicated…” Mrs. Greengrass said turning back around to her plants. 

“No, it’s not.” Astoria said coldly. Her mother bit the inside of her cheek. 

“A lot of people believe that mudbloods are polluting our culture and our way of life, they think that they steal magic and that’s why some babies are born squibs, people think that when mudblood’s get married into lines of purebloods, they make their magic weaker. You can’t blame someone for not wanting that.” Mrs. Greengrass said softly. 

“But that’s not true, you told me that muggleborns don’t take the magic from pureblood babies.” 

“I told you there was no proof-“ 

“It doesn’t make sense there are dozens of muggleborns for every squib!” 

“Dear I’m just explaining why some people-“ Mrs. Greengrass attempted to play damage control. 

“I don’t care what some people think. What do you think.” Astoria didn’t know why it suddenly mattered so much, why she suddenly needed to hear her mom say the words. 

“I don’t think Mudbloods should go to Hogwarts.” Her mother said with finality. “And if you care about this family and what happens to us after this war, you’ll stay quiet on this matter.” Mrs. Greengrass said with an unbreachable air of finality. Astoria felt her hands form fist and something angry rise up in the back of her throat. 

Astoria’s knuckles were white around her wand as she stormed into the rose garden. She started setting bush after bush on fire, feeling a little release of energy after each plant caught fire. After setting no less than 20 ancient rose bushes on fire Astoria stared at the small inferno. Smoke rose into the sky and she could sense her mother watching her from a distance. A quick irrational urge to send a fire ball her mothers way quickly dissipated and the angry witch sat down to watch the plants burn. 

The smoke smelt good and something about the destruction made Astoria feel better. She wanted her mother to suffer the way Astoria had to suffer for her mothers’ awful opinions, for letting Astoria believe that she felt the same way Astoria did only to rip it out from underneath her. Astoria decided her mother was the worst type of liar, because she hadn’t even really lied, she’d just deceived. 

Astoria watched the rosebushes until they’d burnt all the way to the ground. Someone had clearly cast some sort of spell or ward or something so the fire wouldn’t spread but Astoria pretended not to notice. As angry as she was she didn’t want to destroy everything her mother had so carefully planted and nurtured. 

Eventually Astoria’s leg fell asleep and her butt hurt and there was nothing to watch anymore so she got up and walked back into the Greengrass’ Manor. It was hard to imagine that earlier that day Draco Malfoy and she had made potions, it felt like a lifetime ago. 

Astoria thudded up the stairs and heard and some frustrated chattering coming from her sister. Curiously Astoria did her best to tip toe over to the room and she pressed her ear against the door. 

“She’s such a bloody little swine!” Daphne cried angrily, “I’m sure the little bitch is getting a major power trip from telling everyone, I bet it’s the first time someone dare even tolerated her presence in years.” Daphne paused while the other person indiscernibly spoke. 

“Exactly! Because you know the minute someone let her put her grimy paws on them, she’d shag them to Durmstrang and back. But no one would literally ever, she’s just bloody jealous of me and clearly intent on ruining my life!” Daphne’s voice was painfully shrill but Astoria stayed leaning against the door, intently listening to her sisters conversation. Someone was trying to ruin Daphne’s life? 

“Months. It’s been months, I mean hasn’t she run out of people to tell by now? Why do people still care?” Daphne said incredulously. 

“No yeah. It’s bloody ridiculous.” Daphne sighed. 

“Astoria?” Mrs. Greengrass pretended to innocently furrow her eyebrows as she saw her youngest daughter eavesdropping her older sisters floo conversation. Astoria’s eyes widened terrified, bracing for the punishment as Daphne threw her bedroom door open. 

“Astoria!!” Daphne bellowed at a bloody murder pitch. 

“I was just walking by!” Astoria lied, attempting to run away from her sister. 

"Locomoter wibbly!” Daphne screeched the first jinx that came to mind, and Astoria quickly put up a simple shield. “Mimblewimbal” Daphne fired off a toung tying jinx, once again blocked by Astoria. “Locomotor Mortis! Calvorio!” Astoria narrowly missed the last hair removal charm and was raising her wand to fire back a jinx herself when Mrs. Greengrass stepped in. 

“Girls.” The matron said flatly. 

“Astoria was eavesdropping!” Daphne played the blame game. 

“I was just walking by!” Astoria defended herself, and Mrs. Greengrass sent the young witch a skeptical look. 

“Liar!” Daphne cried out emotionally.

“What’s the big deal Daphne? What’s so secret?” Astoria taunted. 

“Girls!” Mrs. Greengrass had recently become the referee between her two daughters and it got more and more insufferable each day. “Daphne, go to your room.” The mother commanded. 

“Gladly.” Daphne gritted out. 

“Astoria, we need to talk.” Mrs. Greengrass. 

“I don’t want to talk to you.” Astoria spit, crossing her arms and preparing to stamp back to her room. 

“I just wanted to apologize.” Mrs. Greengrass said sadly. Part of Astoria wanted to ask for what, she wanted her mother to admit that she was on her side, that Astoria was doing the right thing, and that she’d support her no matter what. Yet, some bitter, and smarter part of Astoria knew her mother would never admit it. Finally, Astoria felt a pang of guilt at the smoldering rose bushes outside. 

“I’m sorry too.” Astoria said quietly before padding off to her room, her head hung. 

The next night when Astoria wandered into her father’s room, she found her older sister Daphne sitting in her usual chair talking to her father, who seemed pretty coherent. Daphne had tears in her eyes and Astoria could recognize a lecture when she saw it, so she quietly closed the door and pretended to have never walked in the room. 

After attempting to visit her father Astoria decided to pop into the kitchen but the young witch froze in the foyer when she saw Mrs. Malfoy talking to her mother in hushed tones. The woman’s cold eyes snapped to Astoria and narrowed. Astoria’s own mother turned around to regard her daughter with a small frown. 

“Is there something you need, Astoria?” Mrs. Greengrass said motherly. 

“I was just going to get something from the kitchen,” Astoria mumbled, feeling like a pesty child under Mrs. Malfoy’s gaze. 

“I’ll have Sorrell bring you something. Why don’t you go up to your room?” Mrs. Greengrass instructed. 

“Thank you.” Astoria said softly, she gave Mrs. Malfoy one more curious glance before running up the stairs to her room. By the time she arrived there was already some French onion soup waiting on a tray next to a big piece of spice cake, her favorite. The young witch sat in the window seat and looked at her mother’s greenhouse. She leaned her face against the cold glass and frowned, between Daphne’s secret and her mother’s sudden outspokenness against her muggle born friends Astoria felt betrayed. 

Astoria wiped at a tear that threatened to fall from her eye and got up to get changed for bed when she heard a knock. 

“Yes?” Astoria hummed and the door creaked open to reveal a tired looking Mrs. Greengrass. 

“I have a favor to ask you.” The mother said calculatedly. “It’s important, for our family.” Mrs. Greengrass added on when Astoria’s eyes stayed narrow and distrustful. 

“What is it?” Astoria snapped. 

“Mr. Malfoy’s case ends tomorrow, and it’s important that we’re there to show support.” Mrs. Greengrass explained shortly. 

“But he cast an unforgivable.” Astoria said confused. 

“That doesn’t mean it’ll be any less hard on Draco and Mrs. Malfoy.” 

“They’re death eaters.” Astoria said flimsily, crossing her arms and looking out the window with contempt. 

“Astoria.” Mrs. Greengrass warned. 

“Fine. I’ll go.” 

“I’ll have Sorrell leave your dress robes out. Make sure you look presentable…” Mrs. Greengrass trailed off awkwardly, not sure how to place the hurt in her daughters’ eyes. The mother stood in the doorway for an extra minute, it felt as if she were free falling completely out of control. Part of her knew that she was losing the ability to salvage her relationship with her daughter. A bigger part knew that saying what her daughter wanted her to, wouldn’t do either of them any good. 

“We’ll leave tomorrow at eight. It’ll be a long day so make sure to have breakfast.” Her mother quickly said before leaving. 

____ 

Draco looked like a completely different person compared to the day before. His eyes were puffy, and bags were quite prominent, his face was twisted into a scowl that looked painful to maintain and he stood so close to his mother you’d think he was a young child at a busy park. They sat in the front row, looking down at an even sicker looking Mr. Malfoy who looked small compared to the hundreds of wizards above him. 

The entire hearing passed by in a haze for Astoria who instead spent the time feeling dizzyingly overwhelmed. She hadn’t seen this many adult wizards in one place before, and the crowd was concerning, especially the large section that chanted “Az-ka-ban!” every time there was a silence or break in the case. 

Astoria could tell that even Daphne felt scared, her hands shook as she lifted them to fix her hair every couple of minutes. The Greengrass’s were surrounded by fellow purebloods dressed for a funeral, their party was small compared to the protestors. 

At some point the verdict must’ve been reached as the chanters stood and cheered and the purebloods looked down at their feet. Lucius was sentenced to Azkaban. Eventually people started filing out of the room, and it emptied save for the Malfoy’s and the Greengrass’s. A wizard walked Lucius over to his family where they exchanged brief and terse words. Then he too was led away until it was just Draco, Astoria, Daphne, Mrs. Greengrass and Mrs. Malfoy. 

“Let me take you home.” Mrs. Greengrass said softly to a shell-shocked Mrs. Malfoy who didn’t have much more in her than to just nod. They walked in silence all the way until they reached the lobby of the Ministry where cameras were flashing and people were chanting “Az-ka-ban!” again. Mrs. Greengrass grabbed Mrs. Malfoy’s hand and led her to the floos. 

“It’s still hooked up to my husband’s office.” Mrs. Greengrass whispered to Narcissa who numbly nodded. Astoria glanced to her left at a similarly quiet Draco and felt her heart plunge. Whatever anger she’d ever had completely dissipated, seeing him like this just seemed wrong. She didn’t know what he could’ve possibly done to deserve it. 

And so, one by one each of the group floo-ed home until Astoria was the only one left. She looked out to the crowd that had seemingly calmed after the Malfoy’s departure. She spotted school mates and swallowed harshly, they had seemed to spot her too, she stubbornly wiped a tear away and looked at the fireplace. She felt as if she was standing at crossroads, floo powder leaking out between her fingers as an angry crowd of protestors watched. Refusing to spare them a second glass she threw the powder into the fireplace. 

“Greengrass Estate.” 

“What took you so long?” Daphne snapped as Astoria brushed off the ash. 

“I was just looking at the protestors. I think I saw a Weasley.” Astoria said dazedly, everyone else had already left the study, so it was just Daphne and Astoria. 

“Blood traitors.” Daphne muttered under her breath and Astoria snapped her head to her sister. 

“Do you think I’m a blood traitor?” Astoria asked genuinely and looked at her sister expectantly. 

“I don’t know. Are you?” Daphne deflected before leaving the office, clearly not interested in the answer. Astoria felt the word around in her mouth. 

“blood traitor” the young girl whispered. “blood traitor, blood traitor, blood traitor, blood traitor, blood traitor.” She chanted. She looked in the large black ornate mirror that hung above the fireplace in her fathers study. “Blood traitor.” She watched her lips move and then turned to leave the study. 

Astoria had French onion soup for the second night in a row as the group sat quietly at the dining room table. Mrs. Greengrass had poured fairy wine for Mrs. Malfoy and herself. Draco sat to Astoria’s right and he barely had a spoonful of the soup. Instead he pushed it around, scooping onions and gooey cheese with his spoon just to drop it back in the bowl. 

“Stop playing with your food.” Mrs. Malfoy snapped at her son, who didn’t even look up at his mother. He forcefully dropped the spoon back on the plate. It loudly clattered. The meal was painfully silent and every couple seconds Astoria would peak at Draco who appeared to be fending off tears. 

“Why don’t you stay the night, I could have Sorrell prepare guest rooms.” Mrs. Greengrass broke the silence. 

“We need to be getting back.” Mrs. Malfoy said coldly. 

“At least have Draco spend the night, it would give you some time for yourself,” Mrs. Greengrass said desperately but Mrs. Malfoy flashed a deadly look in her direction. 

“We have to be up early tomorrow for a meeting anyway.” The tired mother said harshly. She got up suddenly, the chair screeching against the floor. “It’s time to go Draco.” Mrs. Malfoy commanded, and Draco’s eyes flashed a hint of fear before he dejectedly followed his mother out of the room. 

Mrs. Greengrass looked concerned at their abrupt departure. 

“Time for bed girls.” Mrs. Greengrass suggested out of character. The girls looked at their mother concerned. “Come on,” she chided. Astoria and Daphne stood up and padded up the stairs, looking down at their mother who pulled a cloak on and held her wand in her hand. Daphne pulled Astoria up the stairs and to their old play room that overlooked the street in front of their house. Daphne pulled open the window and both girls peaked out. 

“Narcissa!” Mrs. Greengrass called out as she jogged down the front entranceway. Narcissa turned on her heel, her face full of fury. Before either mother started talking the window that Daphne and Astoria were peeking out slammed shut, throwing them backwards. The curtains magically wrenched closed forcefully stirring dust. The two girls looked at each other alarmed. 

“What do you think they’re talking about?” Astoria asked innocently concerned. 

“You-know-who,” Daphne whispered, frowning, “I think he’s at their home right now, I think that’s why mother doesn’t want Draco going home. I think she’s afraid he’ll punish them.” Daphne admitted and Astoria frowned. 

“Why would he punish them?” Astoria asked concerned. 

“He was supposed to stop Lucius from going to Azkaban, he could’ve if he wanted. But he didn’t, and Lucius must’ve messed up pretty bad in the Ministry to get caught. He must be mad at the Malfoys.” Daphne whispered. 

“What is he going to do to them?” Astoria mumbled fearfully. 

“I don’t know. I’ve heard he’s not a very forgiving man.” Daphne whispered before getting up. “Come on, let’s see if Mother locked all the other windows.” She motioned for Astoria to follow her as the padded down the stairs. They found the front door locked, and it took some time before they discovered every window and door on the entire first floor magically locked. 

“I cannot believe she locked us in!” Daphne huffed. “Let’s go tell father.” She added and Astoria was unsurprised that this was Daphne’s first reaction. They wandered to where their near comatose father laid, his room smelled thickly of potions and all the things barely keeping him alive. 

“Father,” Daphne whispered, tapping his arm in a way Astoria would’ve never dared. “Father,” She whispered this time more harshly. He groggily opened his eyes. 

“Mother went to Malfoy Manor and locked us in the house!” Daphne complained petulantly. Astoria could feel the magic in the room shift as her father’s heart rate picked up and seconds later a nurse from St. Mungo’s apparated into the room, bags in hand. 

“What’s going on here?” The nurse asked while performing magical checks on his body. When neither daughter answered the Nurse stopped her magic and turned to glare at the girls. “I won’t repeat myself.” The nurse restated. 

“N-nothing. Astoria and I just got in a spat and-“Daphne stuttered. 

“Where’s your mother?” The Nurse demanded. 

“She’s… out.” Astoria said unconvincingly and the Nurse pinched the bridge of her nose while taking a deep breath. 

“You girls should know better. Your father’s health is precarious. Leave. Now.” The nurse lectured, her voice thin and angry. 

“But-“ Daphne started, but the look the Nurse shot her got her to close her mouth. 

“Now.” The Nurse said sharply, and the girls walked out of the room their head hung. Both girls quietly padded up two flights of stairs to their parents’ room, where you could see the over the woods all the way to the Malfoy manor. The night was dark enough that you could just barely make out the glow of the windows of the manor. 

The girls pulled two armchairs from an alcove and angled them facing the manor. 

“Do you think he’ll hurt mother?” Astoria asked in a tiny voice. 

“No.” Daphne said firmly. “She’s done nothing wrong.”


	4. Gravel, Squabbles, and a Swim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey anyone who's reading this! 
> 
> Wow, part of me feels REALLY weird writing this, I'm pretty much just like journaling haha since it's doubtful that on the slim chance someone reads my work they also read this note BUT I've just finished posting what I've written so far. 4 chapters in 1 day will literally never happen ever again, I just finally decided my imagination would be exposed! 
> 
> I think the next chapter will be out soon since it's already almost done, but I can make no promises after that. Please comment, kudos, follow, subscribe, whatever! I'm having a blast writing this and I hope someone else might get a blast reading it!

At some point in the night there was a green flash from Malfoy manor. Neither girl said a thing despite the thoughts racing in their heads, and even later in the night both girls found sleep, curled up in their parents’ armchairs. 

“Merlins beard,” The two young Greengrass girls awoke at dawn to their mother’s cry. Mrs. Greengrass swept her daughters into a tight hug. 

“You frightened me.” Mrs. Greengrass breathed, kissing the temples of her daughter. She gave them one tight squeeze before using her wand to send the chairs back to the alcove. “C’mon let’s wash up and have some breakfast.” Mrs. Greengrass murmured, despite being up all night. 

Astoria washed her face and brushed her teeth before joining her mother on the patio outside the kitchen. Three pieces of toast with hazelnut spread and sprinkles lay out for the witches. Astoria waited for Daphne before eating her toast. This was the first and the last time the Greengrass girls would eat breakfast all together that summer. 

The rest of the week passed in a haze, the girls wandered around the home aimlessly. Daphne left her room even less than before and Mrs. Greengrass frequently lost track of what she was doing out in the greenhouse, finding herself sitting on the same stool hours after she last remembered sitting down there. Astoria attempted to keep busy, practicing for her Celesta lessons even though Mr. Warble had mysteriously yet to show up, practicing potions even though she was unsure if Draco would ever come over again. It seemed as if the Estate existed separately from the wizarding world. 

A floo from Ansley ruined the calm. 

“Are we still on for Tuesday Tea?” Ansley asked with trepidation. 

“Umm, yeah.” Astoria said caught off guard. She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to say yes or no, but she didn’t want to make it seem like something was up and she hadn’t yet come up with a good enough excuse, so she just said yeah. 

“Okay….” Ansley said unsure, waiting for some ball to drop. “Should I bring a suit?” She asked and Astoria paused confused. 

“Oh-um… yeah.” Astoria could tell she was doing a terrible job of selling that everything was alright. 

“Is everything okay?” Ansley asked a bit concerned. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Will you let Lizzy know?” Astoria asked and Ansley nodded before disappearing. Sorrel conveniently appeared looking at Astoria expectantly. 

“What should Sorrell prepare?” The house elf asked, and Astoria chewed her lip. 

“Whatever you guys prepared last time would be good.” Astoria mumbled and Sorrell was gone. The young witch suddenly felt an itch to do something. She ran up to her room and changed quickly before jogging out of the estate. 

Astoria had forgotten how long the walk to the Malfoy manor was, as she hadn’t actually walked it in years. Typically, her mother apparated them, if they didn’t floo. Astoria felt her heart pick up as she saw the top of the manor in the distance, the energy around the home felt scary. The temperature started dropping as the young witch got closer until suddenly, she was so chilly she wished she’d brought a cloak. 

The manor looked much less inviting than even usual and Astoria found herself stubbornly putting one foot in front of the other as she walked up to the front door. She lifted the knocker and banged it three times. The young witch stepped back and put her hands in her sweater pockets. 

“Astoria Greengrass?” Bellatrix Lestrange drawled, her voice a high screech at the end. “My, what a pleasure!” She giggled insanely and Astoria felt her heart sink into her stomach. 

“Is Draco here?” Astoria hadn’t meant to take a step backwards, but some sort of instinctual fear had wanted to put as much space as possible between her and the crazy witch. Bellatrix didn’t like the movement and she closed in on Astoria, grabbing her chin and pulling her face so close that Astoria could feel Bellatrix’s breath. Bellatrix looked deeply into both of Astoria’s eyes before a wide grin spread across her face. 

“I’ll go get him. Stay here.” The witch instructed and Astoria stayed frozen in her spot until an unkempt Draco Malfoy appeared at the door frame. 

“Astoria. What are you doing here?” He demanded cruely, Astoria’s heart crumpled a little bit, she couldn’t help but bite her lip to keep from frowning. 

“I just wanted to see if you were still going to tutor me in potions…” Astoria trailed off, lying. She searched Draco’s face for any sign of torture, not that she knew the signs, but she just figured she’d be able to tell. Something would stand out, but nothing did. Draco looked sickly and exhausted, but nothing proved torture. He looked truly terrible though. 

“You came here to ask me that?” Draco sneered, his head turning back to look inside the manor as someone approached him. 

“Draco, who is this?” A man who Astoria didn’t recognize asked Draco, the mysterious man placed his hand on Draco’s shoulder. He had a small scar on his forehead and his hair was greasy and scraggly. 

“No one. She was just leaving.” Draco spat and Astoria couldn’t help but pull her eyebrow into a pout at the biting words. 

“It’s Astoria Greengrass!” Bellatrix squealed appearing once again behind the mystery man and Draco. 

“Greengrass? Why are you being so rude? Invite her in!” The old dirty man laughed and Draco tensed. 

“I-I can’t.” Astoria’s mouth was dry, “M-my Mother is expecting me home.” She flimsily lied. 

“Surely she won’t mind-“ 

“She will. Go home Astoria.” Draco said bitingly. Astoria turned on her heel and it took everything in her power to not sprint down the drive to the safety of the street. She relished the warmth the further she got from the Malfoy Manor. She looked down at her trainers as she walked down the old gravel road, kicking tiny pebbles out of the way as she walked. She focused on the crunch, she didn’t want to even think about everything else that had just transpired. Astoria purposely didn’t put the pieces together, why there were so many odd characters in the Malfoy manor, why it was so cold, why every bone in her body had screamed danger. She just focused on the sound of little gravel pebbles crunching against each other as she walked on top of them. 

Mrs. Greengrass was standing in the front doorway her arms crossed against her chest. She watched Astoria as the young witch pulled her sweater closer around her body. The mother said nothing and simple stepped the side allowing her daughter to get inside the house. She closed the door after her and let Astoria run up to her room. 

Astoria immediately ran to her bathroom and dry heaved into the toilet. She sat down on the hexagonal tiles, leaning against the wall feeling silly for her behavior but the energy surrounding Malfoy manor had seeped into her bones and made her sick. 

“Dark Magic, when used incorrectly can make wizards sick.” Mrs. Greengrass reprimanded Astoria hadn’t even noticed that her mother had followed her into the bathroom. 

“I just had to see if Draco was okay.” Astoria admitted quietly and her mother’s face softened at her daughter’s concern. 

“The Malfoy manor is wrought with blood magic and dangerous dark hexes and curses. When you feel that energy you need to turn around and walk the other way, it’s not safe.” Mrs. Greengrass said sternly. 

“But Draco is in there.” Astoria interjected, and Mrs. Greengrass frowned at her stubborn daughter. 

“Sometimes, the best way you can help someone is to stay put.” Mrs. Greengrass said sharply at her daughter before leaving the young witch to feel nauseous. Eventually Astoria looked at her expression in the mirror and understood how Draco could’ve looked like a completely different person the day of the trial, something about the magic in that Manor drained the life out of you. 

That night Astoria’s owl Bertie tapped at the glass pane of her bedroom window. Astoria stumbled out of bed and wearily rubbed her eyes. The letter was from Gwen, who somehow still didn’t understand that, when not at Hogwarts, owl’s will arrive at their destination as soon as possible. This meant between Gwen’s row house in London and Astoria’s estate somewhere near North Somerset, owls had about a three-hour delay. 

Dearest Astoria, 

I have two words for you. July Fifteenth. The Longpigs come to London on July 15th! This Saturday! And we have tickets! I begged my cousin who knows someone who works for marketing for The Longpigs and he said he’d get us tickets! Plus what’s even better, is that my slag of a neighbor is hosting a house party since his parents are in the Azores for vacation Friday night! I won’t take no for an answer, you absolutely must meet me at Kings Crossing Station next Friday morning at the latest. 

Also, I’m sorry Daphne is being a downright hag, but I could’ve told you that. She’s had something up her ass since January. Living with her must be downright unbearable and I feel very very sorry for you. 

To change the subject to something less depressing Clive and Ellery have both been writing me, very frequently this summer, it’s honestly why I’ve taken so long to respond to you. Those boys are relentless! They write me every day, so I don’t even get a chance to write back! Like I’m some sort of journal or diary for them or something! Honestly, I’m embarrassed for them both. I’m sure that Ellery has a crush on me and Clivr.. I don’t know, I mean he’s been our friend for forever right? Have you been receiving daily letters? I invited him to The Longpigs concert with us (naturally) so stay on the look out with me? Let me know if he’s acting weird? 

Anyway, see you soon,   
Gwen 

Astoria read the letter and felt a small stab of jealously, she hadn’t received a single letter from Clive, the third member of their friendship. It wasn’t even that she wanted a letter from him every single day, but it would’ve been nice to at least get a hullo, Astoria rationalized. Knowing she’d struggle to fall back asleep Astoria set out to writing Gwen back. 

Dear Gwen, 

I’ll be there, even if I have to hijack a dragon and fly it straight into Big Ben. Things here have been… strange, I have a lot to tell you! Also, I have not received a single letter from Clive, so something is definitely up there. I can’t wait to see you both! 

Love,   
Astoria. 

The letter was brief, and Astoria quickly calculated the math. It was almost one in the morning at the Greengrass estate, which meant that Gwen would be woken up at a harsh four in the morning, Astoria felt that was deserved. The young witch quickly tied a green ribbon around the letter, not even bothering with an envelope and attached it to Bertie’s leg. He ruffled his feathers, gave Astoria friendly peck, and let out happy coo before setting back off into the night. 

Astoria willed herself to go to bed, she had her lesson with Draco and tea with Lizzy and Ansley, but she simply could not keep her eyes closed. Eventually she decided the only way to properly fall asleep would be to exhaust herself first, so she lightly thudded down the steps, grabbed her cloak and set out into the gardens behind the house. 

Astoria liked the way the air felt heavier at night, how everything felt damp and cooler. She wandered along the rose garden she’d previously set ablaze and noticed fondly how her mother had already replanted new bushes. Astoria felt only a small amount of guilt about setting the fires, certainly not enough to do anything about it. 

Astoria wandered to the pool and took her slippers off so she could dip her feet in the cold water. She looked over the orchards and wondered how many other generations of sleepless witches had come out here to look at the sight of glowing fruit under twinkling stars and a shinning moon. She wondered how many other generations of witches’ toes had been dipped in this very pool and she wondered if any of those witches ever wanted more. 

The young witch huffed angrily and wondered what Gwen would do after school briefly. Gwen was outspoken, confident and assured. She was good at almost everything, not exceptional but good enough to typically get E’s on most tests, except Divination for the which the witch seemed oddly adept. Maybe she’d be a prophesy teller at the ministry but that seemed to boring for the hot blooded girl. Auror seemed like too much work, she’d probably love being a Broadcaster, or even a curse breaker. Astoria couldn’t help but feel another stab of jealousy as she imagined the crazy twists and turns her best friends’ life would inevitably have. 

“Astoria?” The young witch looked up at her sister who had similarly wandered out to the pool that night. “I thought that I saw you out here.” Daphne breathed. 

“Hey Daphne.” Astoria said as she watched her sister shed her slippers and dip her toes in the pool. 

“What are you doing out here?” Daphne asked kindly, lying down so she could stare at the sky. 

“I couldn’t sleep, and I just thought I’d think.” Astoria murmured. 

“What are you thinking about?” Daphne probed softly. 

“I don’t know. What Gwen will do when she grows up, I guess.” Astoria said rubbing her eyes and pushing a stray piece of hair off her face. Daphne sighed. 

“What do you think she’ll do?” Daphne kept the conversation going. 

“I’m not sure. I was thinking she’d be a really good prophesy teller, but I don’t know. She’d probably get bored of it. I bet she’ll probably end up being a broadcaster or something, I could hear her voice on the radio excitedly narrating a Quidditch match or something.” Astoria sighed. 

“I could see it too.” Daphne lied; her voice tellingly tight. 

“What are you doing out here?” Astoria asked, turning her head to look at Daphne’s side profile. Daphne had the same delicate nose as Astoria, but her hair was blonde and neat, it glowed under the moonlight. 

“I guess, in a way, I was thinking about what I’m going to do when I graduate.” Daphne mumbled. 

“What do you mean?” 

“It’s just that…” Daphne huffed, “I mean you probably already know but….” She grumbled under her breath. “Goyle and I shagged early this January and-and Millicent saw and she told everyone.” Daphne felt tears well up in her eyes and she fiercely wiped them away. 

“Daphne… I had no idea, I’m so sorry,” Astoria whispered. 

“And Father had something lined up for me, a marriage arrangement and it fell through because of it and now I don’t know… I don’t know if I’ll get another one. And I’m not- the classes I’m taking are easy, I know I’ll do well in them, but I don’t even know what kind of jobs I could get.” Daphne rambled upset. “What if I graduate Hogwarts next year and I have nothing?” She genuinely asked her young sister. 

“You’re smart.” Astoria said pointedly, “And you’re gorgeous! And any man would be lucky to have you and if they’re all too much of dunces to figure that out, then you’ll be brilliant at something I’m sure.” 

“Right.” Daphne huffed. “I’m being silly, I made a mistake and I’m suffering the consequences. I need to suck it up and move on with what I have left.” Daphne said determined. She sat up suddenly like she was going to make the changes at the moment but then found herself stuck in the safety of being right next to her sister. 

“Daphne…” Astoria said after a minute. “What happened isn’t fair.” 

“What?” Daphne snapped. 

“Maybe you made a small mistake but….” Astoria had no idea what she was trying to say, and she’d wished she spent a couple more minutes thinking before she opened her mouth, “So did Goyle and he isn’t facing any consequences for it. And you definitely still deserve a handsome man, what happened doesn’t- it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve that anymore.” Astoria said decidedly, feeling pretty proud of herself at the end. 

“That’s some mudblood feminist bollocks if I’ve ever heard it.” Daphne drawled cruelly. 

“Hate yourself then!” Astoria cried. 

“Wow, thanks for giving me permission!” Daphne bit. 

“You know what? It’s not going to be the fact that you’re a slag that stops you from being an absolutely worthless pointless trophy wife. It’ll be because you’re such a fucking cunt!” Astoria screeched, her voice getting progressively higher and louder as she went on. 

“Well I can’t wait for you to be a worthless pointless trophy wife.” Daphne got up and looked down at Astoria. “Blood traitor.” She drawled and Astoria’s mouth fell open. 

“Fascist!” Astoria shrieked. 

“I don’t even know what means!” Daphne laughed maliciously. 

Suddenly Astoria ached for her wand, itching to hex her prejudice, ignorant god-awful sister. 

“Girls!” The blood drained from both teens face as they saw their mother, her wand in hand, looking rather frightening as her cloak flowed behind her. “I will not tolerate that sort of… behavior.. between my daughters!” Their mother snapped. 

“Mother-“ Astoria started, truly believing she’d said and done nothing wrong. 

“No.” With a whip of her wand Mrs. Greengrass had silenced both girls and frozen them in place, so the only thing they could move were their fearful wide eyes. “The world is a tough enough place right now for you to be fighting each other. I know you have different opinion on blood status, and that is what it is. But it will not stop you from being sisters, family always comes first, and family does not talk to each other like that.” Mrs. Greengrass’ tone was harsh and pointed. She released both girls from their silence. 

“She said being a housewife was worthless and pointless!” Daphne tattled. Mrs. Greengrass took a deep breath. 

“Astoria, nothing in life is pointless or worthless, being a mother is a brilliant thing, raising intelligent and graceful children is a gift.” Mrs. Greengrass was trying her best. “You cannot fault your sister for wanting to bring such beauty into the world.” 

“But it’s all she wants to do!” Astoria said petulantly. 

“That is a lot more than many witches and wizards will get to do. You need to stop demeaning what your sister wants.” 

“Daphne doesn’t think I’ll be anything but a housewife!” Astoria cried. Mrs. Greengrass tried to hide a pained expression. 

“Astoria, sometimes we get put in situations we can’t change, and the best thing we can do is accept it and try to make the best out of it. You’re a brilliant, adaptable young girl and I know you can be happy in any situation if you put your mind to it.” Mrs. Greengrass said soothingly. 

“Finally.” Daphne huffed rolling her eyes. 

“What does that mean?” Astoria snapped at her mother. 

“It only means sometimes the future isn’t in your control.” Mrs. Greengrass almost winced. 

“Merlin’s beard.” Daphne groaned, wishing her mother would stop speaking in riddles and simply confront her daughter with the truth. 

“It’s late and time for bed.” Mrs. Greengrass chided, exhausted from attempting to arbitrate her daughters feuds. “We’re having dinner tomorrow and if you girls are still angry, we can talk about it then, but I’m tired.” Suddenly Mrs. Greengrass had aged years, her almost white blonde hair seemed more gray and the wrinkles on her face seemed more pronounced. It felt like her daughters had done that, Astoria pondered. Both daughters found their gaze trained on the ground as they shamefully followed their mother into the Greengrass estate. 

Astoria woke up late, with dark bags, and messy hair. One quick consultation with a house elf told her she had less than twenty minutes until Draco was supposed to arrive, and no one had laid her out anything to wear. 

Left to her own devices she settled on a soft green sweater and loose black wide leg jeans. She mischievously pulled on her white trainers and did her absolute best to picture exactly the makeup that Daphne had done on her the previous weekend. A try or two later Draco was waiting for her and she was barreling down the stairs to him, books in hand. This time she barely managed to stop in time and Draco rolled his eyes at the young witch’s antics and tried to repress the part of him that almost wished for her to fall into his arms. 

Suddenly, Astoria did a double take. Draco looked terrible. His usually pale skin was almost see-through and his complexion seemed grey and ominous like a storm on the horizon. His eyes were so glossy, tired and puffy it seemed like he’d had an allergic reaction to something, except the dark bags under his eyes made it clear his affliction was pure exhaustion. He held something in his posture, his muscles were incredibly tensed as if preparing for an attack any second. Astoria felt something in her chest pang at his state and she instinctively reached her hand up to touch his face. To check his temperature to make sure he wasn’t sick, she’d justify to herself later, but the impulse came from something much purer. 

As high strung as he was Draco flinched back but immediately regretted it when he saw the realization and then hurt dawn on Astoria’s face. Something about the way her big eyes creased, and thick eyebrows pulled into a pout made him feel like a villain and he immediately wanted to kick himself for causing it. Finally, after the moment Astoria cleared her throat. 

“We should get started.” Astoria mumbled and led the lost teen boy to the study where her things were still haphazardly spread from last week. Draco numbly followed, following through the motions. 

“Okay so…” Astoria trailed off after a quiet moment. 

“Let’s um, start with a simple hair-raising potion.” Draco said the first thing that came to mind. 

“Alright,” Astoria said unsure, she’d made a hair-raising potion for homework in second year, and it was quite simple. She walked over to the rat tails and began slicing them diagonally as it said in the textbook annex (the only place a second-year potion would be). Draco simply looked on saying absolutely nothing. 

The potion turned out fine and was finished brewing less than twenty minutes later, as she finished the young witch looked expectantly at the young wizard who’d clearly zoned out. 

“Draco,” Astoria huffed impatiently, and the young wizard’s head snapped up to meet Astoria’s pout. 

“Sorry, um is there a potion you’d like to try next?” He asked scratching his unusually messy hair. Astoria paused and thought before she spoke in a surprising twist of fate. She schemed; one might even say diabolically before the perfect potion came to mind. 

“Draught of the Living Peace!” Astoria exclaimed triumphantly and Draco rolled his eyes. 

“Astoria, that potion is way too challenging, it’s for fifth years, and they can’t even do it right.” Draco didn’t even sound condescending when he said it, which surprised Astoria. He just sounded tired. 

“You asked about the potion I wanted to make, and that’s the potion I want. I know we have the ingredients and we have entire book on it somewhere in the library.” Astoria insisted stubbornly her arms crossed. 

“Any mistake is dangerous-“Draco started but Astoria interrupted immediately. 

“We’ll do it together! You’ve made it before just tell me what to do and I promise I’ll do exactly what you say.” Astoria used her best puppy dog eyes and pleading face. She wanted Draco’s undivided attention, and this was the only way she could possibly get it. 

“Fine. Fine, but you have to do everything I say exactly.” Draco commanded and Astoria greedily nodded her head. 

While Draco worked, he had a habit of biting the inside of his left cheek, which made his beautiful and sharp jawbone even sharper. His messy hair flopped in his face and periodically he’d purse his lips and push a breath of air aimed at the hair, moving it out of the way. When he focused it looked as if he tuned the entire world out. 

Astoria couldn’t stop looking. She had no idea why and while she was doing her best to do exactly what Draco said, every time there was a pause and she wasn’t cutting or crushing or slicing she was staring at Draco. The way he looked when he worked was addicting and intoxicating, and even though she was sure he’d feel uncomfortable if he even noticed her staring, she just couldn’t stop. 

Sixteen steps were a lot of steps for a potion, but Astoria enjoyed working alongside Draco. As much as she wished it, the two never bumped shoulders or got in each other’s way, somehow, they each had an acute sense of the other and seemed to always move gracefully around each other. Draco was weirdly good at delegating and Astoria was weirdly good at falling inline. She didn’t like being told what to do usually but somehow it felt better when they were making this potion. 

By the end there was undeniably a sore in Draco’s mouth from biting the side of his check, and Astoria had a new understanding of the contours and complexion of Draco’s side profile. Somehow, but some stroke of genius luck however, the potion emitted the tell-tale silver mist and Astoria’s mouth dropped. 

“Draco!” She exclaimed, and the wizard grinned at the young witch. “We did it!” She marveled, barreling towards the boy, hugging him so tightly he was basically obligated to hug her back. “Merlins beard I can’t believe it’s a good batch!” Astoria exclaimed as she hugged Draco who couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. The wizard hug Astoria back, and something in him relaxed a little. Maybe it was the scientific reaction when people hug each other but Draco suspected it was more. 

In her excitement the young witch roughly grabbed her potion partners face and planted a solid friendly kiss on his cheek. 

“You’re the best Draco, thank you so much.” Astoria’s cheerfulness was contagious and for the first time since his father was sent to Azkaban, Draco let out a small smile. To spoil the fun Sorrell the house elf apparated in the room with a quick pop. 

“Lizzy and Ansley are here miss.” He said shortly before apparating away. Astoria couldn’t help but let out a small frown, not wanting her time with Draco to be over. 

“C’mon, I’ll walk you to the door.” Draco said, his complexion and energy much improved since he arrived at the Greengrass estate. Between the absence of dark magic, the fun of a challenge and the mood of Astoria, Draco almost looked healthy. Instinctively he put his hand on Astoria’s back to get her moving out of the study, seeing her reprehensive expression. 

Astoria almost jumped at the contact of Draco’s hand on the small of her back, like it was electric or something. She missed the contact as soon as Draco moved his hand. They walked together to the Foyer and the older wizard swept in for a quick kiss on the cheek to bid her farewell, the second of the morning. 

“Wow. Draco’s hair looks so good like that.” Lizzy said, dreamily watching him walk back to his manor. Astoria’s face soured at the praise but she quickly corrected her expression before Lizzy could catch it. “You’re so lucky he’s teaching you potions, it must be like the hottest thing ever.” She added extra adoringly and Astoria shrugged. 

“It’s alright.” The young witch lied and Ansley laughed. 

“Let’s go swimming before we eat.” Ansley said as the trio of girls walked to the pool. 

Astoria closed her eyes and felt the cold pool water lap over her body as she floated, basking in the warm sun and the cold pool. Lizzy and Ansley were doing the same, the three pureblood witches looked a little silly, floating perfectly still, perfectly silent on the hot day but something about the exercise made them feel relaxed. While silent, Astoria could almost pretend they weren’t prejudice and they could almost pretend Astoria wasn’t teetering on the edge of Blood Traitor. 

“I can’t wait to go back to Hogwarts.” Ansley sighed. “I just want a big platter of pumpkin pie, and I want to be able to eat what I want without my mother breathing down my neck about my figure. If she mentions the Weekly Witch article about cutting dairy one more time I’m going to bloody burst.” 

“Daphne said that to me the other day it was terrible. I just don’t see how milk gives me spots. I’m pretty sure being a teenager gives me spots, and maybe the stress of having to deal with such a cow of a sister gives me spots.” Ansley snorted at the comment. 

“Personally, I’ve cut out dairy for the past couple of weeks and I feel fantastic. I lost a couple kilos and I haven’t had a spot in three days!” Lizzy haughtily preached. Ansley and Astoria both shared an exasperated look. 

And the afternoon progressed leisurely. The girls swam and then ate and sunbathed a little more and then they went home. Astoria promised to have them over next week. After a third tea it’d be considered a routine and Astoria would no longer have to promise to have it, it would just be assumed. Something about that didn’t quite sit right with Astoria, making the commitment made her feel a little uneasy, as this might just be the tipping point of something more.


	5. Smoothies, Gin, and Advil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Chapter 5 is up woo woo! Hope you guys enjoy it :)

Wednesday and Thursday of that week passed so slowly the young witch thought she might explode. The anticipation of getting to take the muggle train to muggle London and go to a real muggle party and then a concert pulsed in Astoria’s veins. On Friday morning Astoria finally let herself pack. She spent hours considering her outfits, and somehow still came up empty handed. She packed her only pair of muggle jeans, low rise of course, and a sweater. 

Astoria took care not to pack her family crest necklace, she knew the trinket was saturated with magic and had always had an inkling her mother used it to track Astoria, or at least keep tabs on the young witch. Astoria carefully tucked the necklace away in her jewelry box, under the felt lining at the bottom. 

Astoria casually wandered down to the basement where a lot of her dad’s old Hogwarts stuff was kept. Suspiciously Sorrell the house elf popped just as Astoria moved the first box of old textbooks. 

“How can Sorrell help Miss Astoria?” He asked shortly. 

“Umm… I’m looking for my Dad’s old broomstick.” Astoria admitted truthfully. 

“The Nimbus 1500 or the Cleansweep Six?” Sorrell asked dutifully. 

“Nimbus please.” Astoria quipped and after two sudden and successive pops the elf appeared back holding the promised item. 

“Thanks,” Astoria said taking it out of his hand. 

“You’re not going to Malfoy Manor are you? Sorrell is s’posed to tell Mrs. Greengrass if you are.” Sorrell drawled out in an uncharacteristically long sentence. 

“No, I’m just going to go fly around the backyard.” Astoria said shortly, displeased by her mother’s meddling behind her back. “But you should tell my mother if she doesn’t want me going to Malfoy Manor she could just ask.” Astoria bit, unable to help herself. Sorrell dutifully nodded before popping away, presumably to tell Mrs. Greengrass. 

Astoria’s broomstick skills were undeniably poor. She figured the magic of her father’s broomstick could sense her insecurity and paid back by barely moving at all. 

“Astoria!” Mrs. Greengrass called into the sky at her daughter who was moving about a mile an hour twenty-five feet above the ground. Astoria huffed and slowly descended to where her mother stood, her arms crossed against her chest. 

“What?” Astoria snapped. 

“I don’t want you going to Malfoy Manor.” Her mother seemed equally irritated. “And it’s a little hypocritical to go through the house elf to get angry at me for going through the house elf, don’t you think?” Mrs. Greengrass lectured. 

“I was just trying to make a point.” Astoria said tossing her father’s broomstick on the grass. 

“Why are you flying your father’s broomstick around?” Mrs. Greengrass asked, her curiosity quelling her irritation a bit. 

“I was bored.” Astoria mumbled. 

“Right, well, hand it to me. It should go faster than that.” Mrs. Greengrass muttered, and after casting a couple spells, one that resulted in a poof of dust expelling from the broom part of the broomstick she handed her daughter back a much faster broom. Mrs. Greengrass took a deep breath and her face softened. “Look, Astoria, I’m sorry for asking Sorrell to tell me if you were going to the Manor, it’s only that the Manor is dangerous, and I was scared if I told you not to go you’d immediately go and get Draco.” 

“Why would I do that?” Astoria questioned; her eyes narrowed skeptically. Mrs. Greengrass gave Astoria a very knowing look and Astoria could help but frown harder. 

“I just had a feeling, I suppose. Promise me you won’t go?” Mrs. Greengrass confirmed. 

“I promise.” Astoria sighed. 

At about three in the afternoon, when Astoria knew her mother would be disposed in the bath, Astoria said a quick prayer before grabbing her bag, hopping on her father’s broom and casting a disillusionment spell. 

As she sped away from the estate she wondered how long it would take for her mother to notice her absence, if she’d just assume that Astoria didn’t want to come down for dinner or if she’d notice right away. Something stupid inside Astoria wished for her mother to notice right away. 

When Astoria landed in the lot behind the train station she quietly hid her fathers broomstick under some bushed and placed her want in her bag. She grabbed her muggle wallet and bought the earliest ticket to London. 

When she arrived at Kings Crossing Station it was almost dinner time and an excited Gwen and Clive stood grinning, arms open. Something about how perfect the two looked together bothered Astoria. They stood very close together, close enough to make it seem like they were dating, Gwen’s perfect blonde hair and perfect pale skin made her stand out in the crowd, and her piercing green eyes were easy to get lost in. Famously easy. Clive looked like he’d just stepped off a beach somewhere in the south of France, his tan skin and effortlessly curly hair was hard to forget. Together they looked like something out of a magazine. The jealously twisted in Astoria’s stomach for a second, the jealousy of looking that perfect with someone, before the pure warmth of the three person hug took over. 

“Bloody hell Astoria, I’ve missed you so much.” Gwen said squeezing them both so tight. With one final glance over of her best friend Astoria led them outside the station. 

“This is me,” Gwen said motioning to a nondescript black SUV, a man in a suit opened the door for her. “Thanks.” Gwen said reflexively as the three friends piled in the back seat, all squished together. 

“Where too, miss?” The adult man in the front seat asked. 

“Home please.” Gwen said casually. Astoria opened her mouth to ask who that man was but sensing her curiosity Clive beat her to it. 

“He’s a driver. Gwen is so rich she has a driver. It’s bloody mad. Wait till you see her house too!” Clive exclaimed. Astoria shut her mouth and just stared out the window as the driver navigated the heavy London traffic. There were muggles everywhere, they wore strange clothes but besides that they seemed pretty similar to wizards. Except some of them talked to these tiny boxes that Gwen called cells. 

“Okay so Jacksons thing, that’s my neighbor, it probably won’t start until like ten or eleven tonight. So, I thought we could maybe make smoothies, I have a theater in my basement so we could watch a movie maybe? I can’t remember what else was on your list Astoria but I think we can get most of them done tonight.” Gwen planned aloud and Astoria just nodded, unsure of half the things Gwen had said. 

“What kind of smoothie?” Clive asked, trying to casually reposition how he was sitting. 

“I was thinking pineapple raspberry mango.” Gwen offered and Clive thoughtfully nodded. 

“Mango’s my favorite fruit.” Clive commented and Gwen glowed. 

“Shut up. Mine too!” She exclaimed happily. 

Gwen lived in a four-story white stone town house. The door was black iron and the very small front yard was perfectly manicured, the home looked pretty large especially considering its location. The only other home in London she’d seen was the Black townhouse which she’d only visited once as a very small child, she remembered hating the awful old hag that lived there. 

“So whaddya think?” Gwen said laughing, clearly used to people gawking at the massive home. 

“It’s really big and nice!” Astoria said kindly. Neither of her friends had ever been to her home and she planned to keep it that way. No telling how’d they react to that can of worms. 

“Well just wait till you see the inside.” Clive said incredulously. The home was immaculate, and Gwen navigated it like it was a hotel, nothing like how Astoria treated her family’s home. Whereas Gwen was careful to put her shoes in the walk in coat closet, and instructed her mates to do the same, Astoria was prone to forgetting she even had dirty trainers on until after she tracked dirt all over the house. Gwen also walked softly and quietly, leading them quietly to the kitchen where she grabbed the necessary tools to make Astoria her smoothie. 

“Blended fruit!” Astoria exclaimed realizing that that’s what Gwen had been referring to by smoothie. 

“Bloody hell Astoria, that’s what a smoothie is.” Gwen laughed. 

“You’re ridiculous.” Clive mused, leaning on the kitchen island, intently watching as Gwen expertly dumped the fruit, ice, and juice into the blender. 

“Oh come on like you know half the stuff in the wizarding world.” Astoria said rolling her eyes good naturedly. 

“Actually we do.” Gwen laughed. 

“Yeah ‘cause we go to school at Hogwarts.” Clive quipped

“Where they never stop shoving magic down your throat.” Gwen finished, giggling. Clive looking at her adoringly and Astoria wanted to gag. 

“Merlins beard, go get hitched or something, you guys are grossing me out.” Astoria huffed. Gwen and Clive blushed. 

Suddenly Gwen pressed a button on the contraption she’d put the fruit in and one of the worst, loudest noises Astoria had ever heard suddenly filled the room. It was almost worse than a howler, she instinctively covered her ears in pain. Clive and Gwen started laughing harder. 

“Bloody hell! What is that?” Astoria screamed and Clive and Gwen just laughed harder. Finally the noise stopped and Gwen grinned. 

“That was just the blender.” Clive said still laughing. 

“That was awful.” Astoria mumbled and Gwen shook her head grinning. 

As awful as the noise was, the smoothie was incredible. Astoria begged Gwen to make her another one, which of course Gwen obliged. Astoria declared that smoothies were the best thing she’d ever had, and she’d have to find a way to make one with magic so she could drink them every single day. Her muggleborn best friends couldn’t help but laugh at the witch’s behavior. 

They watched a spy movie that Gwen called James Bond. It looked just like moving portraits or the pictures in the Daily Prophet, except they lasted for two hours, and had different scenes. It was mesmerizing, though admittedly a little hard to follow. 

Hours later Astoria found herself standing next to Gwen as she knocked on the door of her neighbor Jackson’s house. The music inside the house was so loud Astoria could feel the vibrations one the front stoop. A frazzled boy with messy blonde hair appeared with a large grin. 

“Gwen!” He said jovially, “And Gwen’s mates?” He added pleasantly, he made pointed eye contact with Astoria and she couldn’t help but keep it, even though it made her distinctly uncomfortable. 

“Astoria and Clive.” Gwen introduced, keeping eye contact Jackson shook both of their hands, taking his time with Astroria and sorely neglecting Clive. 

Jackson navigated them through a couple rooms to the kitchen where red solo cups were stacked in piles surrounded by tall glasses of beverages that Astoria predictably didn’t recognize. 

“What can I make you guys?” Jackson asked warmly being a good host. 

“Rum and Coke would be good.” Gwen said firmly and Clive nodded, Gwen looked around the kitchen completely lost, the words meant absolutely nothing to her. 

“Astoria?” Jackson drawled, and the young witches head snapped to look at Gwen’s neighbor. 

“She’ll have a rum and coke too.” Gwen spoke for Astoria authoritatively. 

“Alright then, coming up…” Jackson spared Astoria one last glance before he set to work pouring equal amounts of two different drinks into 3 red solo cups. 

“That seems a little strong, don’t you think?” Gwen said wincing at the pure amount of Rum the teenage boy had poured in their cups. 

“We’re trying to have fun tonight, aren’t we?” Jackson exclaimed laughing, “I can pour more coke for you though if you’d like.” He tacked on but Gwen shook her head, before pausing. 

“Just in this cup.” She said pointing to the red solo cup on the end, after Jackson poured coke until it filled the brim, Gwen handed that cup to Astoria who carefully sipped some liquid off the top. The drink tasted awful and burned her throat on the way down, Astoria’s face screwed up and she forcefully swallowed. 

“Is this alcohol?” Astoria said shocked and everyone laughed. 

“Bloody hell! It’s literally called a rum and coke!” Jackson exclaimed. Gwen rolled her eyes and carefully regarded her friend. 

“Do you fancy something else?” Gwen said as Astoria watched Clive essentially chug half the cup with no problem and Astoria shook her head, she took an even larger gulp and controlled her expression, it wasn’t that bad. 

The group walked into next room together, a folding white table had been set up and people were standing around it playing games, next to it was a couch where people were slumped talking, and then there was a cramped open area where people were dancing. Despite having access to the entire mansion it seemed almost everyone had gathered in this room and the kitchen. 

“Alright well, I think people are playing flip cup and with looser team doing the shot-ski.” Jackson said pointing to a ski that had shot glasses glued to it. “Oi, and then James and Owen are over in that corner, do you remember them Gwen? I’m sure they’d love to say hullo to their favorite mysterious boarding school bird.” 

“As if.” Gwen said rolling her eyes. 

“And then find me if you end up on the dance floor, ‘cause I’d love to join,” Jackson said with a wild grin, waving goodbye before disappearing back into the kitchen. 

“Let’s que up for a game of flip cup,” 

Astoria was awful at flip cup, however gracious men still vied for her and Gwen to be on their team, even though it was a death sentence. Astoria grimaced as her third shotski came he way, the rum and coke finished and discarded somewhere else in the house. 

Astoria closed her eyes and stood on her tippy toes to so her lips could meet the shot glass glued to the ski as alcohol slid down her throat. After it was done her teammates on the end slammed the ski down and screamed “Shotski!” There was laughter, and Astoria grabbed the table to steady herself. 

“Astoria!” Gwen grabbed her friend’s waist, absolutely smashed as well. “You’re bloody awful! I cannot believe they’re still letting us play!” Gwen giggled. 

“I know!” Astoria cried back laughing, “I think we owe it to everyone else to stop playing!” 

“I think so too!” Gwen shrieked laughing. “Let’s go to the dance floor!” 

And so, Astoria found herself jumping and terribly dancing to the loud rock music blaring of the speakers. Suddenly she felt someone’s hands on her waist, holding her bum to their front. She liked the way it felt, and she kept dancing, making sure to rub her bum a little bit more. She closed her eyes a bit and just let her body move and when she opened them Gwen was gone. Astoria huffed drunkly and turned around to see Jackson. 

“Hey, do you want to see my room?” He whispered in Astoria’s ear and she nodded. It was really really loud in the room and she wanted to sit down somewhere quiet and maybe even sleep. Jacksons hand rested firmly around Astoria’s waist as he led her up a flight of stairs and down a hallway, he led her into a massive room. The walls were dark and covered in band posters, Astoria leaned against a dresser and Jackson closed in on her, standing between her legs and at first towering over her. Then he slowly craned his head and planted a slow and soft kiss on Astoria’s lips. She froze. His mouth was expertly slow, coaxing a response out of the young teen, and eventually he received one. Astoria wrapped her arms around his neck, giving her better placement, Jackson pulled her waist even closer to him.

He broke the kiss to kiss the crook of Astoria’s neck and she shuddered it felt so good. Suddenly he was back at her lips with renewed vigor and he picked Astoria up to put her on top of the dresser. He purposefully spread her legs even wider and then began trailing his fingers up her legs, dipping under her knickers. Astoria snapped into reality and pulled away suddenly pushing his hand out her skirt. Jackson looked at her puzzled, before taking a step back. 

“Are you alright?” He asked, her voice actually verging on concern. 

“Will you help me find Gwen?” Astoria said, focusing on the words to make them come out coherently. The teenage boy nodded and offered Astoria a hand getting off his dresser, which she denied. She quickly adjusted her skirt and her shirt before following Jackson downstairs. As soon as she entered the big room Gwen was on top of her. 

“ohmigoddddd thank merlinnnn” she slurred, accidentally using wizarding slang. “Clive’s outside looking for you! We’ve been trying to find you for the last like five hours.” Gwen overexaggerated. Suddenly she turned to Jackson and pouted. “Will you help us find Clive so we can go-“ Gwen looked like she was seconds from puking. She took a deep breath and then swallowed harshly. “Home.” She said after a lengthy pause. 

“If you weirdos were allowed to have cells at that boarding school you could just call each other.” Jackson huffed but nonetheless led the two helpless girls out to the back terrace where sure enough Clive had just finished searching and was on his way back. 

“Clive!” Gwen exclaimed like she hadn’t seen him in ages, she dove into his arms and the teen witch stumbled backwards at the sheer force of her. Still he held her tightly, helping her stand. 

“C’mon ladies,” Clive huffed, grabbing Astoria too, and helping them navigate through the giant home. 

“Thanks for having us.” Clive said to Jackson as they stumbled out of the townhome and down the street. 

After a considerable amount of help later Astoria and Gwen were lying side by side in Astoria’s bed. Clive had grabbed blanked and curled up on the chaise by the window. 

“Gwen” Astoria whispered loudly as soon as Clive turned the light outs and tried to go to bed. 

“What?” Gwen whispered loudly back. 

“Jackson kissed me.” Astoria said. 

“Shut up. What was it like? Did you like it?” Gwen demanded. 

“It was nice… and I did like it…” Astoria admitted to herself. 

“But?” Gwen asked, able to tell something was off. 

“Oh, I don’t know, it was like, he tried to put his hands up skirt and I stopped him, and I don’t know…” Astoria trailed off. 

“You don’t know what?” Gwen asked confused and Astoria formulated the words in her mouth. 

“If I shagged a muggle, then I’d be scorned and I’d never be forced to marry anyone and I could go do or be whatever I wanted when I grew up,” Astoria sounded impressively sober as the words flew out of her mouth. There was a long pause. 

“But you stopped him.” Gwen reiterated. 

“Yeah. I did.” When Astoria closed her eyes, the whole room spun. 

“Well, do you like him?” Gwen asked quietly after a minute. 

“No. The kiss was nice, but I don’t know him” Astoria said quietly. 

“That makes sense.” Gwen hummed. “You know, I’m sure you’ll find a way to become an old spinster without bringing shame to your whole family.” Gwen joked but Astoria attempted to consider the thought deeply. 

“Maybe.” Astoria closed her eyes and battled the feeling of a spinning room until she finally fell asleep. 

Both girls woke up with pounding headaches and to the sound of Clive dropping a water glass. 

“Merlin, shut it!” Astoria groaned while Clive loudly clomped around Gwen’s bedroom. 

“Sorry!” Clive whispered with a dry throat as he picked the water glass up and mopped the water off the floor. Gwen angrily groaned and put her pillow over her head. 

“I think I’m dying,” She rasped and Astoria laughed. “Clive, can you please grab me some water,” She begged and Clive reemerged with glasses for both the girls. Gwen rustled around her bed side table and pulled out a white bottle of pills. 

“What is that?” Astoria asked as Gwen downed 3 of the pills. 

“Advil, here.” Gwen said dumping 3 pills in the witches hand. The girl took them without question and chugged the water from the glass. 

“Clive will you close the blinds?” Gwen mumbled pushing her face into her pillow, “I’m going back to bed.” 

“Yeah.” Clive groaned and the trio found themselves unconscious in minutes. 

Astoria awoke groggily, she rolled over and was startled by the time. It was almost two in the afternoon, yet she still felt absolutely exhausted. She tried to slip out of the bed without waking Gwen, unfortunately she was unable. 

“Bloody hell, what time is it?” Gwen groaned. 

“10 till 2.” Astoria mumbled and Gwen groaned louder. 

“Blimey, we were supposed to go to the London Eye at 1:30.” Gwen huffed rubbing her eyes. “It’s alright, we can still hang out Westminster and see all the sights.” The witches and wizard wearily got dressed and ready. 

Astoria decided an hour in that she loved Muggles. They were so cool with all their trinkets and gadgets, how they hailed cabs, how their buildings looked, how they did everything themselves. 

“Gwen,” Astoria tugged on the muggleborns sweater who rolled her eyes. This was at least the fifth or sixth time the enchanted wizard had done that.

“How do all the cars know to stop?” Astoria asked, Clive snorted. 

“Do you see those lights?” Gwen said patiently pointing at the traffic lights, Astoria eagerly nodded. “Red means stop, if it turns yellow you have to slow and prepare to stop, and green means go.” Gwen explained and Astoria nodded thoughtfully. 

“And the people inside … they steer the cars?” Astoria clarified. 

“Yes, with the wheel.” 

“Do they control the lights too?” 

“No, a computer does.” 

“And a computer is a machine that thinks for itself.” Astoria declared, proud of herself for remembering. Clive rolled his eyes good naturedly. 

“Wow maybe you should take muggle studies, you’d probably do better at it then Potions.” Gwen said. 

“Yeah, plus then I wouldn’t be the only Slytherin.” Clive grinned.

“I still can’t believe you take muggle studies.” Gwen laughed. 

“Easy O.” Clive shrugged. 

“But you got an A.” Gwen was cackling, and Astoria’s jaw dropped as she regarded Clive. 

“But you’re a muggleborn!” Astoria exclaimed. 

“They kept asking for the muggle equivalent of wizard things and I didn’t know the wizard things!” Clive huffed and the girls laughed at him. 

It wasn’t until after dinner when the trio finally got back to Gwen’s home did Astoria receive an owl. It wasn’t even a howler. 

Astoria, 

Come home. 

Mother 

Astoria huffed and pet Bertie who cooed at the attention. 

“What’s it say?” Gwen asked peaking over Astoria’s shoulder. 

“Just “come home”” Astoria sighed. 

“That’s it? I kinda hoped it’d be a howler.” Clive frowned walking over to put his hand on Astoria’s shoulder comfortingly. 

“It seems a little curt. Do you reckon she’s angry?” Gwen asked. 

“I haven’t got a clue.” Astoria sighed sadly. She quickly turned the note over and scribbled out a message. 

I’ll be home before tomorrow morning. 

See you then,   
Astoria 

She handed the note to Bertie who pecked her hand and flew away. 

“Right then, we have just under thirty minutes till the concert, let’s get going!” Gwen said before rummaging through her closet, throwing at least ten outfits onto her bed. 

Later that night, or actually quite early that morning Astoria, found herself sitting at the Kings Crossing Station. The car had dropped her off after the concert with her things and she’d just bought a ticket. Her ears were ringing from the loud music and adrenaline was still pumping through her veins from all the dancing and screaming. It’d felt like something out of a dream, all those people, so happy and unrestricted. She’d loved it, and she was glad to have Gwen and Clive to share it with. With a contented sigh Astoria boarded her train and sat in her seat. 

She’d never flown in the dark before, but her father’s broom almost seemed eager to be home and mostly guided itself. Astoria struggled to keep her eyes open at the end of her all nighter and was tempted to try and fly straight to her bedroom window. 

Unfortunately, she discovered a little too late that that wasn’t even a remote possibility as she hit wards. Like an electric trampoline she shot backwards and off her broom, her muscles spasming. It was only twenty feet, but the girl felt something crunch in her ankle as she hit the ground. A light flashed on in the manor and she knew her mother was coming. 

The young witch stubbornly stood up, resting all her weight on her good foot and hobbled over to the broom and her bag. She grabbed both and patiently waited for her mother to come out and let down the wards. 

Mrs. Greengrass was in her dress robes, which looked crinkled by sleep. She walked outside, wand in hand with long and determined strides, Astoria glared at her mother, resentful for the wards. They’d never had wards like this on the manor before. When Mrs. Greengrass finally identified it was just Astoria the woman’s face was sour. 

“Why aren’t you wearing your necklace?” Mrs. Greengrass demanded. 

“Because you use it to track me!” Astoria said, feeling validated in her earlier suspicions. 

“That isn’t true. That necklace has protection spells, and I warded the house with it as a key. If you’d worn it, you wouldn’t have gotten thrown off your broom.” Mrs. Greengrass lectured. 

“Well how was I supposed to know? It’s not like we’ve ever had wards before!” Astoria howled. 

“We’ve never needed wards before!” Mrs. Greengrass rose her voice, which would’ve made Astoria shrink if she wasn’t feeling so angry about all of her injuries. 

“So now we have wards to lock us inside all day? Keep us trapped? Just because I left for a day and a half?” Astoria demanded angrily. 

“No Astoria. Not everything on this planet is about you.” Mrs. Greengrass cruelly bit back. “It’s dangerous in the wizarding world right now. I didn’t think I’d have to tell you, but our neighbors aren’t exactly safe right now.” She added. Astoria frowned as she glanced down the gravel path to Malfoy Manor where she knew dark magic had filled every creek and crevice. 

“I think I broke my ankle.” Astoria admitted quietly, with nothing else left to say. 

“I’ll fix it up before you go to bed.” Mrs. Greengrass sighed, “You need to be more careful.” The mother chided wearily, and Astoria knew the request had nothing to do with the wards.


	6. Skelegrow, Wizarding Chess, and Late Night Swims

Astoria’s mother had felt her daughter leave the house at 2 pm on that Friday. Mrs. Greengrass had had spells and wards all throughout the house for tracking the movements of witches and wizards in the home at any given time. The mother immediately dried off, dressed and tracked her husband’s broom, something she’d known would be a flight risk the minute Astoria fetched it from the basement. It took Mrs. Greengrass under 20 minutes to find it hidden under the bushes by the muggle train station, and to find Astoria waiting to go to London. The mother let her daughter go anyway.

Astoria was not the type to be controlled, this was something Mrs. Greengrass knew. It’s why the pointed rage consuming the young witches face was so dangerous, even as she pathetically hobbled and had to wait for her mother to let down the wards allowing her into her home. Sometimes Mrs. Greengrass sometimes regretted how independent and entitled she’d allowed her daughter to be. It was times like this, when Astoria seemed a danger to herself that Mrs. Greengrass wished she’d had it in her to be a stricter parent. 

Mrs. Greengrass had Astoria lie down on a love seat in the family room which was dusty from vacancy. Her legs were propped up on the arm rest the damaged one sticking straight up. Mrs. Greengrass accio-ed the skelegrow and handed it to her daughter who screwed her face up as she swallowed the concoction. It burned worse than alcohol on the way down and Astoria immediately chased the awful potion with some provided pumpkin juice. 

“It’ll probably heal in an hour, would you like me to sit with you?” Mrs. Greengrass asked her daughter kindly. Part of Astoria wanted to say yes, regrowing the likely shattered bones in her ankle would likely be incredibly painful and it’d be nice to have some distraction but at the same time she didn’t even know what she’d talk to her mother about. How she snuck out? How she almost let a muggle boy put his hand up her skirt? Astoria just shook her head and stared up at the extravagantly paneled ceiling. 

“Okay, I’ll go back to bed then. Oh, and Draco’s staying with us for the next couple of days.” 

“Draco’s here?” Astoria craned her head to look at her mother who was halfway out the room. 

“Yeah, he got a little sick, so I’ve been looking over him. He’ll be home before the end of the week.” Mrs. Greengrass admitted sadly. 

“Oh. Okay.” Astoria didn’t know how to respond. She was excited to have someone else in the manor to talk to and do things with, but it felt wrong admitting it to her mother, so she just looked back at the ceiling and took a deep breath. 

“I’ve charmed the Russian doll to shake when time’s up.” Mrs. Greengrass said finally before quietly going upstairs and back to bed. Astoria sighed, and felt tears prickle at her eyes when the signature skelegrow stabbing pain began. She tightly gripped the love seat and grinded her teeth against the pain. 

At some point Astoria must’ve fallen asleep, since the decorative Russian dolls began popping and out of themselves. Astoria groaned and knocked them over, returning back to her side, all crunched up on the loveseat and she returned to sleep. 

Astoria awoke the next morning cocooned in a heavy wool afghan blanket, her messy brown hair over the pillow and in her face. The young witch groggily rubbed her face and winced at the lingering tastes of skelegrow in her mouth. Someone had come in and closed all the curtains to all the large windows and French doors. Astoria padded to the doors and peeked out, it looked to be almost midday. The young witch looked down at the muggle clothes she wore to the concert last night and balanced the need to change with the growling in her stomach. Her hunger won out and she stretched before strolling over to the kitchen. 

Astoria froze in her steps as she saw Draco Malfoy sitting in her seat at the kitchen nook, picking at a muffin. Draco Malfoy stared right back at the groggy teen witch, his mouth agape. 

“Why are you wearing muggle clothes?” He demanded, “And why do you look like that?” He added on rudely. Astoria’s eyes angrily narrowed. 

“Why are you in my kitchen?” She demanded, even though she knew the answer. She mostly just wanted to stress the fact that he was in her house, and the least he could do is not question her. Draco scowled and looked back down at his muffin and tea. 

“Would Miss Astoria like some toast?” Sorrell popped in and asked. 

“Yes please, and some black tea too please.” Astoria hummed before sitting in Daphne’s spot. 

“So, is it normal for you to wander home in the wee hours of the morning and sleep on the couch?” Draco sneered, he’d leaned in since her arrival, scanning her ragged appearance. Her face was puffy from sleep and her hair looked a mess, even her clothes were wrinkled from yesterday

“Not particularly,” Astoria said vaguely, her toast with hazelnut spread and sprinkles appearing. Draco grimaced at the meal but said nothing. Astoria took a small bite and sprinkles fell to the plate, making little noises as they hit the porcelain. 

“Your mum said you were visiting a friend.” Draco said pointedly. 

“I was.” Astoria was getting irritated with the line of inquisition from Draco. She started taking larger bites of her toast and gulps of her tea, hoping to go shower and change to escape his interrogation. 

“Who? I wouldn’t think the Burkes or the Knotts would let you wander home in the middle of the night.” Draco said his eyes narrowed in suspicion. 

“I don’t think you know them.” Astoria said tiredly, almost halfway done with her toast, only a couple more bites and she’d be free. 

“So a mudblood then,” 

“I didn’t say that.” 

“But you’re not denying it-“ Draco began just in time for Mrs. Greengrass to wander into the kitchen from the backyard, her hands and knees filthy. 

“Good morning dears.” The mother said cheerfully, something in the garden must’ve put the matron of the home in a good mood. “How’s your ankle feeling?” Mrs. Greengrass cast a spell to clean herself before approaching her daughter. Astoria yanked her jeans up to show a slightly bruised ankle. 

“Why does it look like that?” Astoria asked her mother. 

“Must’ve been worse than I thought.” Mrs. Greengrass hummed while she inspected the ankle, “Does it hurt to walk on it?” She asked, looking up fondly at her daughter who looked like a crumpled mess. 

“No, not really.” Astoria said, watching her mother watch check her ankle intently. 

“Well then I suspect it’ll heal just fine on its own, if not I’ll just banish the bones and we’ll grow some more.” Mrs. Greengrass said warmly and happily. She turned to Draco. 

“And you? How are your muscles? Any headaches?” Mrs. Greengrass hummed. 

“No. I’m fine.” Draco muttered harshly. 

“Good, good. I suspect there’s been no damages or effects. I still think you should stay here to recuperate; have you been eating the chocolate?” Mrs. Greengrass asked. 

“I’ll eat it after breakfast.” Draco said shortly. 

“It’ll help you feel better.” Mrs. Greengrass told the young wizard before walking out of the kitchen, most likely to fetch something for the greenhouse. 

“What’s wrong with your ankle?” Draco asked as Astoria attempted to vacate the room before another line of questioning, she had failed.

“Broke it.” She clipped. 

“How?” 

“Flew into the wards on a broom last night.” Astoria said and slipped out of the Kitchen before Draco could ask her anymore questions. Now that Draco seemed obsessed with discovering all of Astoria’s secrets, she was severely less excited for his presence. 

Later that afternoon, after a good shower, nap and redress, someone knocked on Astoria’s door. 

“Who is it?” Astoria called, putting the book of poems she’d been attempting to read down. 

“Draco,” The boy huffed. 

“Come in!” Astoria said, and Draco entered the young witches room, he looked around curiously at the blue and white toile wall paper. Upon closer inspection it was enchanted, and birds flew around it, flowers blew in the wind, and a small man tipped his rice hat with a wide friendly grin. He appraised the all-white bedding, curtain and chase, the dark wood furniture, and the clutter. It was just enough pureblood flair, just enough Astoria, the room fit Draco realized. 

“Your mother said you might want to play a game of wizard’s chess before dinner.” Draco mumbled suddenly shy. 

“That sounds lovely,” Astoria’s love of beating everyone at Wizard’s chess trumped her want to avoid Draco and all of his questions. She hopped out of her chaise and walked with Draco down to the great room. They sat across from each other at the chess table that was wedged in a nook. The area was a little cramped, but it was Astoria’s favorite wizard chess table in the whole estate. It was near the fire and under a window, perfect for all seasons plus, the seats were the most plus and comfortable. 

“Sorry for quizzing you earlier.” Draco said starting the game. 

“It’s alright.” Astoria responded, moving her piece magically. 

“It’s nice of your mother to have me over.” Draco was trying his best to be polite and not interrogate the young witch but also make conversation. 

“It’s not a big deal. It’s not like we don’t have half a dozen empty guest rooms waiting for people who never come over.” Astoria huffed. 

“When was the last time your mother hosted something? I remember the old Summer Equinox balls; those were always fun. When was the last one?” Draco tried to remember, he had actually always enjoyed the dances, mostly because every year the ball stole a theme from around the world, the food would match, the music, the decorations. It was always fun to feel transported across the world one night. 

“I think three or four years ago, not since my father got sick. He was always the one who wanted the balls, and the dinners and stuff. My mom didn’t really like them. I mean she did love the summer equinox ball, that was fun for her to plan, but she didn’t really enjoy all the other stuffy boring dinners.” Astoria rambled. 

“Your mother’s a little odd.” Draco laughed softly. 

“I think everyone else’s mothers are odd.” Astoria snapped, and Draco didn’t even find himself irritated at the girl’s brief anger. Astoria looked back at the board, puzzled to not find herself destroying Draco, she bit her lip and set her jaw, taking more time and consideration than usual into figuring out her next move. 

“So, what do you reckon you’ll do after you graduate?” Astoria asked, leaning on the board. Draco gave her a small lopsided smile. 

“I have no idea; I’m just trying to get through this year.” He admitted. 

“Is sixth year really that hard?” Astoria asked, tilting her head in curiosity and Draco felt his heart pang at the girls naivety. 

“Yeah, I think it’s the hardest year of all of Hogwarts.” Draco lied and Astoria frowned, knowing that seventh year, with N.E.W.T’s were universally agreed to be the worst. 

The two played chess until Draco check mated Astoria one final time. 

“I lost.” Astoria was shocked, she looked at Draco with wide eyes, and he laughed at the reaction. 

“You did.” Draco said nodding. 

“But I never lose.” Astoria was so bewildered she had no idea how to react. 

“Well you just did.” Draco laughed. 

“You don’t understand, I’ve beaten everyone who’s played me in the common room for the last two years standing, Ellery keeps track-“ Astoria was rambling, defending her honor. 

“I’ve heard, but you hadn’t played me.” Draco shrugged and Astoria scowled. 

“It must have been a fluke, let’s play again.” 

Astoria internally blamed losing the second game on the conversation her and Draco were having. She was lost in his explanation of the time he’d gone to Japan, the kinds of food he’d eaten, the places he visited, what wizards over there wore. Astoria was enchanted, she found herself hanging onto his every word, she liked how when he described even things he disliked he found ways to qualify them. Live enchanted octopus tickled his throat when he went down, though he guessed people that liked chocolate frogs a lot would enjoy such a thing. Or how the wizarding robes over there were a lot more colorful and embroidered, which he enjoyed looking at but would never want to wear. 

“I went to London to visit Gwen and Clive on Friday.” Astoria admitted as they started the third, and it felt good to tell someone in her home world about the weekend. 

“Your mother told me, you’re lucky she didn’t come to London and drag you back. My parents would’ve gone mad if I’d done such a thing.” Draco shook his head. 

“Yeah.” Astoria trailed off. “It was really fun though,” She admitted, “I ate blended fruit, and we saw Big Ben and went to a party, and I drank a rum and coke.” Astoria trailed off, she wished immediately she was as eloquent or as descriptive as Draco. When he’d described Japan, she felt as if she were there, when she told him what she’d done she was essentially listing the things that happened, it felt brusque. 

“You drank alcohol?” Draco asked surprised. 

“Yeah, it was …. really gross, but I don’t know. It was also kind of fun, to let go for the night.” Astoria mused. She thought about how Draco explained Japan, “The muggle party was crazy, there were so many people all crammed in one room, and the music was so loud it pounded in your ears and you had to scream to talk to your friends. We took shots out of tiny glasses that were glued to a ski, and every time you took a shot, you’d slam the ski down on the table and everyone would yell “Shotski!”. And we played a game where you had to get a flip a red plastic top right side up with one finger. It was actually rather hard.” Astoria got carried away explaining the night. Draco looked disgusted. 

“That sounds barbaric.” 

“Stop being so pompous,” Astoria rolled her eyes, “it’s a blast. You’d enjoy it if you tried it.” She told him and Draco was surprisingly unoffended by the statement. He simply shrugged. 

Somehow, they got on the topic of magical pets, chiefly Bertie the owl, who Astoria was confident was the fastest and most reliable owl in all of Britain. She was unbudging even after Draco proved that pretty much all other owls flew at the same rate and were just as reliable. 

“Plus he’s never bitten anyone before.” Astoria said crossing her arms. Draco snorted loudly. 

“Astoria, I watched him bite you! You cried in front of everyone at breakfast.” Draco exclaimed. Astoria opened her mouth in fake offense. 

“That was a love peck!” She exclaimed, only partly joking, “And I didn’t cry! My eyes were just watering because of all the dust!” Astoria defended herself poorly. Draco rolled his eyes and at the young witches’ antics. 

“Bertie’s a good owl, but he’s nothing exceptional.” Draco concluded. Astoria rolled her eyes. 

“Anyway, checkmate. I win.” Astoria grinned, knocking Draco’s piece off the table. It was his turn to look gob smacked. 

“Dinner!” Mrs. Greengrass called into the room, the woman looked fondly at the two teens, who leaned into each other deep in conversation over the chess board. It eased the guilt that ate away at the mother’s heart. 

“Mother…” Astoria trailed off, staring at the plates of sushi, miso soup, and rice. “Did you floo all the way to Japan to get this?” Astoria sounded like a little girl again, all wonder and all worshipping of her mother. 

“No,” Mrs. Greengrass said with an amused smile, “A friend of mine told me our guest was a rather large fan of Japan so I went into Diagon Alley and found someone who’d transport some of the finest cuisine here.” The mother said with a grin. 

Draco looked sheepish at the gesture, all the food, the caring smile, it was all too much. It made him uncomfortable, so all he could muster was an pained grimace. He was grateful it couldn’t have been interpreted as too rude as Mrs. Greengrass and Astoria were both still beaming, and even the recently perpetually sour Daphne seemed excited. 

“Mother, Draco was just telling me all about Japan,” Astoria exclaimed. 

“Well, maybe he’ll be so inclined to share with the rest of us.” Mrs. Greengrass said kindly. 

Draco didn’t really know what to say, so he just nodded politely, while sitting down next to Astoria. He grinned as the young witch struggled with her chopsticks, grabbing them like two sticks. 

“It’s helpful if you hold them like a quill, higher up too, and then let the second one chopstick rest more against the space between your thumb and pointer,” Draco kindly explained, Astoria frowned deeply as she attempted to hold them correctly. “May I?” asked, motioning to her hands. Astoria nodded and attempted to stay calm as Draco’s large hands engulfed hers, moving and arranging her compliant fingers. “Try it now,” he goaded softly. 

Astoria carefully reached to the platter and grabbed some sushi. It made it back to the plate in one piece and she beamed brightly. Everyone at the table watched the events closely, surprised by Draco’s sudden kindness and caring. The dinner progressed a little awkwardly, it mostly comprised of Mrs. Greengrass nodding encouragingly at every time Draco had a little bit to share about the culture of Japan, and Astoria giddily reacting to the exotic tid bits. 

Daphne sat across the table from the young witch and wizard quietly, doing her best to ignore the rising sour knot in her stomach that made her want to get up and storm away from the table, watching Draco and Astoria interact. She used a fork to poke at the sushi and frowned at her plate. 

“Draco, tell them what you told me about the public bathing houses,” Astoria demanded gleefully and Draco obliged, explaining the spa’s and saunas that people bathed in together. The decadent soaps, salts, the different temperatures for different effects. 

At the end of dinner Astoria and Draco left together leaving Daphne sitting at the table with Mrs. Greengrass. 

*

“Dear,” Mrs. Greengrass started softly, her eyes exuding pity. Daphne stood up so fast the chair screeched backward and stared her mother straight in the eyes. 

“Why are you doing this?” She demanded angrily, her voice breaking in pain. Mrs. Greengrass took a deep breath, and the pause caused Daphne to begin storming out of the room. 

“Daphne. Wait.” Mrs. Greengrass said firmly. Daphne turned on her heel, her jaw set but her expression destroyed. 

“They’re asking Draco to do something… unspeakable. He needs to know that things can be different, that he can have a better life.” Mrs. Greengrass pleaded. 

“I’m your daughter! What about me?” Daphne huffed and Mrs. Greengrass massaged her temple. “Do you have any idea how painful it is for me? To watch them? To have my nose rubbed in my mistake?” Daphne demanded. “Or did you not even think of it, even bother to wonder about your daughter?” Daphne huffed. 

“Daphne I am sorry. But they’re asking Draco to kill someone.” Mrs. Greengrass’ voice was tight. 

*

Astoria bit her lip nervously as she stood outside Draco’s door. She mustered up the courage and knocked, crossing her fingers Draco wouldn’t be asleep, or at least would wake at her knock. Her hopes were answered as she heard shuffling around in the room. 

A groggy Draco opened the door. Astoria drank him up, his messy hair, his puffy face, his silk pajamas, his swollen lips. She was inebriated with Draco. 

“Yes?” He asked, only a little irritated since it was Astoria on the other side of the door. 

“Want go for a nighttime swim?” Astoria’s voice was softer than she’d like. 

“I haven’t got a suit.” Draco mumbled. 

“Wear your boxers,” Astoria shrugged like it wouldn’t be a big deal. 

“Right. Give me a minute? I’ll meet you in the kitchen.” Draco said unsurely. Astoria ran to the linen closet and grabbed towels, checked her appearance in a decorative mirror, before running downstairs to the kitchen. 

“Can Sorrell grab something for Miss Astoria?” Sorrell asked, well versed with Astoria’s midnight snacks. 

“I’m alright thanks.” Astoria said shortly, wanting Sorrell gone before Malfoy arrived. Thankfully Sorrell was famous for being abrupt and efficient, he popped away as soon as he knew he was unneeded. Astoria licked her lips and paced back and forth, looking out to the starry sky. Was she being crazy? Probably. Her heart was racing, was that normal? Probably not. Her palms were sweaty. She rubbed them quickly on the towel. 

Draco walked in, in just his boxers, and Astoria froze. He was slim but still perfect, his skin was like porcelain, so white and flawless. He was bony, angular, his frame seemed to protrude from his body, but something about it was so regal, so elegant. 

“Ready?” Draco asked Astoria quietly who just nodded. The two walked down the path to the pool. Astoria walked a little fast, her body wracked with nerves, which weren’t helped by Draco’s frequent quizzical and concerned glances in her direction. The young witch was beginning to believe this was a terrible idea, to be so reckless. Who knew what Draco was thinking was about to go down, I mean blimey she’d asked him to wear his boxers in the place of swim shorts. Astoria suddenly stopped, and incredibly attentive to the witches movements Draco immediately stopped and looked at her. 

“Maybe this was a bad idea.” Astoria said suddenly, her obvious unsureness seemed to inspire confidence in Draco who smiled good naturedly. 

“It’s just a swim,” Draco said comfortingly, “It’s hot out and we’re almost there.” Draco convinced Astoria, who walked closer to him for the rest of the way. Despite surely being the reason that her heart was racing, the closer she walked to Draco the safer she felt. They arrived at the small pool surrounded by disfigured human statues and Astoria disrobed, throwing the light sweater and pajama shorts off. 

Immediately Astoria sprinted and cannon-balled into the pool, soaking Draco. He stared at her with wide shocked eyes. He ran after her, jumping in so close to her she thought he might jump on top of her. When he popped up Astoria splashed him, and he sputtered. When he recovered, he found himself frozen in the spot. Astoria was grinning lightheartedly, so carefree, so joyful, the moon shinning of her hair and her skin. She was truly gorgeous Malfoy marveled. 

Catching his eye, Astoria smiled deviously, and slowly sunk under the surface of the water. As soon as she felt confident, she was deep enough she swum underneath Draco and popped up behind him, putting her hands on either shoulder and pushing him down before he could turn. Draco twisted underwater and grabbed Astoria’s bare sides, pulling her down with him. 

Under the water Astoria opened her eyes wide, only a little panicked, to look at Draco’s own devious grin. Draco pulled Astoria to his side with one arm, and pushed off the bottom of the pool. 

When they broke the surface, Astoria let out a good bout of laughter. 

Intoxicated by the feeling of the nearly naked witch pressed against his nearly naked side, Draco pushed Astoria against the side of the pool, pressing their fronts against each other. Astoria closed her mouth in surprise at the gesture. Draco’s skin was warm compared to the cold pool water, and it was smooth against her own skin, she couldn’t help but look up and search his burning stare. 

Astoria’s instinctively licked her lips, and Draco looked down at them. She could feel his chest rapidly rising and falling against her own, his long and slender fingers spread out, holding her sides, holding her in place against him and the pool wall. Astoria extended her own hands, placing them at them at the nape of Draco’s neck. She pulled herself up a bit, and Draco down, so now there were less than half a dozen centimeters separating them. Draco’s eyes fluttered shut and he leaned in even closer, so that their lips were barely separated at all. 

Astoria closed in on the kiss. It was soft, filled with trepidation, but affectionate. Draco led the kiss, it was his lips that softly caressed Astoria’s and she responded with a shiver of pleasure. Astoria let one hand wind into Draco’s hair and tug, softly. Draco softly placed one hand at the base of Astoria’s neck, in an almost possessive sort of way, and Astoria parted her lips just enough for Draco to swipe a tung against her bottom lip. Astoria got the chills again. 

Eventually Draco pulled away. He took a step back at regarded Astoria, her hair was slicked back from the water, her lips were red and puffy, she looked a little frazzled, and she had goosebumps spread across her skin. 

“I’m sorry.” Astoria said, still breathless. 

“Don’t be.” Draco said with as much warmth and kindness as she could muster. “Let’s go back inside, it’s colder than I thought.” Draco muttered, climbing out of the pool. He handed Astoria a towel and she wrapped herself up in the fluffy warmth. She reached down and grabbed her stuff and the two wandered back to the kitchen. Draco walked Astoria to her room, feeling maybe a little reckless, and missing the way Draco’s lips felt against her own, Astoria pecked him goodbye. Draco reacted too late, grabbing for her after she’d already taken a step back. 

“Thank you.” Astoria said half smiling before disappearing into her room. 

Astoria was groggy through the whole potions lesson, twice she forgot to add something to a potion and it nearly exploded. 

“You need to focus,” Draco irately chided Astoria. 

“I am!” Astoria snuffed back. 

“No. You’re not.” Draco said shortly. 

“How would you know?!” Astoria got angry, she didn’t mean to get that sharp or that shrilly but she was tired and he was being mean. 

“You’ve almost exploded the cauldron twice. You keep forgetting things, chopping things wrong. You can do better than this.” Draco was trying his very best to control himself, and that was his best, no mean comment, no rude dig. 

“Maybe I can’t!” Astoria snapped, tears filled her eyes and she immediately turned away from Draco so he wouldn’t see them. The wizard rolled his eyes and part of him just wanted to leave the insolent young witch to throw a temper tantrum that was years below her. But he knew that’d just make her more upset, so he stood there, letting her cry. 

“I’m sorry,” Astoria sniffled, “I know this is overdramatic. I’m just really tired and really frustrated.” She mumbled and Draco sighed. 

“I know. You need to calm down though, Ansley and Lizzy are going to be here soon.” He said shortly and Astoria wiped at her eyes. She turned around to face Draco and his heart hurt at her appearance, her eyes were already red and puffy, part of him wanted to hug her, try to make her feel better but a bigger part of him wasn’t sure a hug would actually do that. 

“Alright, let’s try it again. This time I’ll make the potion with you.” Draco said, grabbing the cutting board. He watched the young witch carefully and guided her through all the steps, sure enough their skelegrow seemed just fine, and Astoria seemed a lot better, still tired, but less upset. 

Astoria left the lesson early to get dressed for the tea, this time she wore a short green floral dress with a high neckline and ruffled sleeves and bottom. It fit tightly throughout, hugging her thin waist. Astoria looked in the mirror confidently, she knew she looked good. With perhaps a slightly misplaced self-assurance, she charmed her makeup and hair before going downstairs to receive the two pureblood witches.


	7. Short Dresses, Peaches, and Burgundy Notebooks

“I heard Draco was staying with you.” Lizzy said immediately as she walked in, looking around the grand entranceway as if Draco would be hiding behind a portrait or pillar or something. 

“Yeah, he hasn’t been feeling well. My mother’s been looking after him.” Astoria mumbled. 

“He should come have tea with us.” Lizzy said expectantly, and Astoria spent a second thinking about it. If Draco were there it would make it more interesting, plus she was aching to see how he’d react around her in front of others. If he would be his cruel cold self, or if he’d continue to be weirdly kind. 

“I’ll go ask him; you can wait here if you’d like.” Astoria said politely but not waiting for their response before running up the stairs to the guest room where Draco was staying. She knocked hesitantly. 

Draco swung the door open, and he paused as he looked down at Astoria in the short dress. Her long olive legs on display, he visibly swallowed and looked up at her face. Recognizing his glances Astoria blushed aggressively. 

“I thought you had tea with Anlsey and Lizzy right now.” Draco said as if there were something in his throat. 

“I do. They wanted you to join us.” Astoria bit her lip nervously. 

“Do you want me to join?” Draco asked quietly and a soft smile spread across Astoria’s face. 

“I would like that.” Astoria said quietly, looking down at her feet nervously. 

“Alright then, give me a minute to change my shirt to something nicer. You can come in if you’d like.” Draco said softly and Astoria took a step in and closed the door behind her. She leaned against it as she watched Draco deftly unbutton one shirt, and pull on another, nice, silk grey shirt. Astoria ate up the sight of his bare back, so broad yet angular and thin. His body was graceful. 

Knowing she’d been staring, Draco turned around with a wide grin. Astoria’s blush returned to her face and she waited for him to walk over before opening the door and descending down the stairs together. Astoria almost flourished at the way Ansley and Lizzy stared at the two surprised. Astoria liked feeling like if she asked, Draco would come. 

Draco was formally perfect, the whole tea. He took care to sit to Astoria’s right, pulled her chair out for her. He took small bites of small things and smiled a tight lip smile. 

“Draco, I am so sorry to hear about what happened to your father. A travesty, really, the Ministry has absolutely no idea what it’s doing these days, it’s run by total imbeciles.” Lizzy drawled, extending her hand to cover Draco’s, who simply nodded, ice cold. Astoria did everything in her power to hide the scowl she felt at the location of Lizzy’s hand, or the fact that for the first time she wore a well-fitting top with exposed cleavage to a tea. 

“Are you excited to go back to Hogwarts this year?” Ansley changed the subject. 

“I suppose.” Draco said shortly. 

“What classes are you taking?” Lizzy asked. 

“Potions, D.A.D.A, Charms, the usual ones.” Draco was giving up the bare minimum. 

“That sounds fun, my mother is making me take Herbology still and merlin it’ll be such a bore.” Ansley was, as usual, the saving grace of this conversation Astoria realized, and that made her bitter too. Lizzy was the perfect pureblood bitch and Ansley was the perfect pureblood girl next door. Astoria wasn’t the perfect anything. 

“I can’t believe Mrs. Greengrass is letting Astoria take potions, I mean you’re tutoring her, I’m sure you understand the hopelessness of the situation.” Lizzy said bitingly, narrowing her eyes at Astoria at the end. 

“I’m sitting right here Lizzy.” Astoria snapped. Draco said nothing, he simply took another small bite of a tea cookie. 

“I’m taking potions as well, have you started the summer work yet? It’s weirdly light. Something must be up with Snape.” Ansley commented, desperately trying to reign in Lizzy, who she recognized was on a self destructive mission. 

“I heard he wasn’t the potions professor anymore.” Lizzy bit in. 

“Was he sacked?” Ansley asked, clearly shocked by this information. 

“No, I think he’s got D.A.D.A this year.” Lizzy said matter-of-factly. 

“So then who’s Potions?” Astoria asked curiously. 

“I don’t know yet.” Lizzy flipped her hair ostentatiously, she pretended to one up and down Astoria, like she was regarding her for the first time and not as if the comment had been sitting in her brain stewing since she stepped out of the fireplace. “You know Astoria, that dress is awfully short. Aren’t you worried about the wind, or bending over? I always want to wear dresses that short, but I’m always afraid I’ll flash someone. Or worse, what people will think!” 

“Honestly, that’s never even crossed my mind!” Astoria said pointedly, “That must be awful to have all those insecurities holding you back.” The angry young witch half smiled, her eyes angrily narrowing. 

“Draco, what do you think your mother would think of that dress?” Lizzy snapped, rage brewing under her sickly-sweet exterior. Draco shrugged and Astoria felt her rage explode. 

“You know, those peach trees down there look ripe for picking! I’m getting tired of sitting here, Astoria, would it be alright if we picked some peaches?” Ansley brightly interfered and Astoria bit the inside of her cheek. 

“Sounds fine.” Astoria bitterly sat up. She walked ahead of the party behind her and picked a couple peaches before finally turning around and confronting a silent Draco who had clearly been trailing her, seeing her turn around made his face even more scrunched up. 

“You’re awful at that.” Draco drawled. 

“Thanks for sticking up for me.” Astoria shot back. 

“She wasn’t wrong, your dress is a little short.” Draco mumbled. 

“And her shirt is low cut!” Astoria screeched and Draco closed the difference between them in two strides. 

“Be quiet, I’m sure they’re listening in somewhere close by.” Draco huffed. 

“I don’t care!” Astoria was nearing hysterics. 

“You should.” This time Draco was angry. 

“They’re being downright bloody awful!” Despite her protests Astoria did lower her voice to a whisper yell. 

“Why did you invite me to the tea?” Draco huffed. 

“I don’t know!” Astoria cried, “I didn’t give it much thought.” 

“I know why.” Draco nearly growled. 

“Then enlighten me,” Astoria snapped. 

“You wanted to show me off, and make Lizzy and Ansley jealous, and now that you have to deal with Lizzy’s jealousy and I’m not being the perfect boyfriend you’re upset. I’m not your boyfriend Astoria, I’m not yours to show off, and it’s not my job to stick up for you!” Draco angrily whispered and the color drained from Astoria’s face. Astoria hadn’t felt that angry in a while and she dug her fingernails into her palm so hard they almost bled. 

“I didn’t think you were my boyfriend.” Astoria shot back, feeling as if the ground had been completely swept from underneath her. “I thought you were my friend, but now I realize you don’t know what that means.” Astoria spat. She turned away from Draco and stomped no more than four steps before she felt a hand yank her into a solid chest. 

“I’m sorry.” Draco whispered. 

“You’re just saying that.” Astoria sniffled. 

“No, I mean it.” Draco mumbled; he knew he should’ve explained what he was sorry for but his pride wouldn’t allow it. He did feel immensely guilty for the words he shared with Astoria though, and the only thing that made that feeling go away was holding her like this. He could feel her heart beat relax as well as her body. 

“They’re going to know I’ve cried,” Astoria mumbled. 

“Just take a deep breath and lie about allergies.” Draco mumbled, holding her elbow as they rejoined the two other teen witches. 

The tea ended early that day and Astoria escorted both girls to the floo while Draco stayed outside to get some more fresh air. Lizzy was the first to floo away and before Ansley left, she turned to Astoria. 

“Personally, I think you and Draco are a great match, you’d have beautiful and very magical children, I can see it now. I bet you’d breathe life into Malfoy Manor.” Ansley gushed and Astoria stared at her blankly. 

“Thanks.” Astoria barely mustered before Ansley floo-ed away. 

Astoria retreated to her room to be alone. She thought about seeking out Draco again and demanding he explained exactly what he was sorry for, so she could know exactly how mad she had to be at him, but she decided it wasn’t worth it. It would probably just make her madder. Shy toyed with the word over and over again in her head, boyfriend. Was she expecting him to be a boyfriend in that situation? He had, in a sense at least, cohosted that tea. I mean he was staying at the place the tea was held, if that meant anything. She just wanted him to be decent, but to expect Draco to be decent to someone, did that imply a higher level of affection for said person since he was usually so terrible? Was it even good policy to hang around someone who was so volatile and so terrible?

Astoria snorted as she rolled onto her side, plenty of people would call her moods volatile and her spoilt nature terrible. Were her and Draco so terrible they were destined to be together? Astoria ran the idea and all the implications that came with it through the theater in her mind and decided it was a terrible movie. 

Firstly, being a Malfoy wife was a full job and that was just as bad as being a Greengrass wife. She’d be stuck just like her mother, if she truly wanted freedom she’d have to marry well below her station and even with Lucius in jail Greengrass’ and Malfoys were still the closest to each other’s station. 

She decided with the type of finality only a naïve witch could possess that any feelings she had towards Draco, any jealousy or possessiveness would have to stop right now. They were just friends, and nothing more. 

The next morning Draco was sitting in the kitchen with her mother when Astoria came down for breakfast. The two immediately stopped speaking when Astoria walked in and the young witch frowned at the secrecy. Astoria sat down and asked for a muffin, which she picked at as the table shifted into silence. 

“So, when are you going home Draco?” Astoria asked abruptly after a couple minutes of silence. 

“Astoria,” Mrs. Greengrass chided. 

“What? I’m just curious, I didn’t say I wanted him to go home.” Astoria exclaimed. 

“I dunno, probably tomorrow.” Draco mumbled. 

“Oh,” Astoria said reflexively. 

“Are you going to miss me?” Draco teased, his mood a bit improved. 

“As if.” Astoria said jokingly, returning to pick apart her muffin. 

The table returned back to silence and when Astoria finished her muffin she got up to leave. 

“Wait, Astoria, I don’t know if I’ll be able to continue our scheduled potions lessons for the rest of the summer,” Draco said suddenly, and Astoria could immediately tell he’d been holding it in all breakfast, dreading when he’d have to tell her that their weekly meetings would be no more. Astoria’s mouth opened slightly in surprise before she could recompose herself. 

“Oh, well that’s alright,” Astoria trailed, completely unsure of what to say, what she could say. She couldn’t throw a fit she realized; it wouldn’t get her potions lessons. 

“I mean they definitely won’t be regular; I might be able to drop in from time to time, but they won’t be every Tuesday. I was thinking I could maybe help you today and tomorrow, go over some things, maybe leave you a schedule or something so you can continue them on your own.” Draco spewed out and Astoria’s gaze flashed to her mother who was looking at her daughter with pity. Astoria bit her lip; the kindness of Draco’s gesture was not lost on her. 

“Yeah, that sounds nice. I can meet you in the study in a couple of minutes.” Astoria said quietly and Draco nodded. 

Astoria ran up to her room to grab her books and she pulled a sweater on over her pajama tops, alone she was able to wallow briefly. Of course, Draco wouldn’t be able to follow through on her lessons, she wondered in partly, if it’d been due to her behavior yesterday. If he’d realized how much she liked him and if the way she acted, so immaturely, had caused him to no longer want to be around her. Astoria’s lip quivered, just a bit, before she took a big deep breath and padded down the stairs. 

Draco was already in the room, setting up the cauldron when Astoria walked in, for some reason she felt awkward, as if there were something in the room hanging around her neck. 

“Okay, so I was thinking, one of the reasons why it goes so well when we make potions together, is because I’m there to correct you when you forget to read something or aren’t paying close enough attention. What if when you rewrote the potions you actually wrote it like a checklist,” Draco offered, “You know like check off that you made sure to spin the potion counter clockwise, check off that you crushed not sliced, that kind of thing.” Draco hummed and Astoria nodded. 

“That sounds good,” Astoria mumbled, and Draco looked a small bit deflated but nodded. 

“Okay well I have something for you to copy them down in.” Draco said, even more excited this time as he handed Astoria a nice leatherbound notebook. The leather was stained a deep burgundy and when she opened the notebook there was graph paper, her preferred note taking paper format. 

“Graph paper is the best for taking notes, how’d you know?” Astoria asked looking up at the almost smug wizard. 

“Sorrell told me.” Draco hummed. 

“Well, thank you.” Astoria said warmly and Draco nodded proudly. 

“Okay well let’s start!” Draco exclaimed, rubbing his hands together, and the two set out to begin. 

By the end of their second potion Astoria was grinning, swirling around the perfect calming drought. She was on cloud-9, absolutely unstoppable, she was ready to blow everyone’s minds when she came back to school. She’d brew the best potions, get the past potions grade, probably even an O, and then she’d ace her N.E.W.T.’s and no one would even question when she applied to be an auror. It’d be a waste for her not to be one, she dreamed. 

“Draco,” Astoria grinned walking up to him, secretly placing her hand over his wand while he was distracted by her proximity. “Would you be able to go back home if you didn’t have your wand?” She questioned, feigning innocence and Draco’s mouth fell open. 

“Astoria, what did you do with my wand?” Draco demanded, seriously, his nerves shooting into the sky. Astoria shrugged and quickly ran out of the room, Draco’s wand clearly in her hand. Draco chased after her, cursing her as he ran. The young witch was surprisingly fast, especially considering she was only wearing socks and running against well smoothed marble floor. She ran into the ballroom mistakenly, as there was no exit in the giant hall. Draco grinned mischievously when he realized he had her trapped in the dusty old room. Astoria stopped running and turned to face Draco, his wand tucked into the waist band of her pajama shorts while hers was extended straight forward. 

“You’d hex an unarmed wizard?” Draco teased, raising an eyebrow. 

“Maybe. Yes.” Astoria shot out, “I could have no honor. Do you want to find out?” Astoria arched an eyebrow, and took a step forward. Draco narrowed his eyes and also took a step forward, not one to stand down to a challenge. 

“What do you want?” He drawled and Astoria took another step forward, Draco reciprocated. 

“Stay here the rest of summer.” Astoria challenged, cocking her head, daring him to say yes. 

“Astoria, you know I can’t.” Draco said and Astoria took one more step forward, Draco closed any distance there was and Astoria took advantage of their close proximity to dodge the boy and sprint out of the room before he could even turn around. 

Astoria’s lungs burned as she dashed down the hallway, knowing every step was a gamble between moving forward and wiping out. 

“Astoria,” The cold, judgmental clipped tone had Astoria stopping dead in her tracks. The air escaped her lungs and she tried her best to regain her balance, quite a feat with wool socks on marble. “Why do you have Draco’s wand?” Mrs. Malfoy asked, not an ounce of understanding in her tone. 

“We were um- just playing a game.” Astoria mumbled. 

“Aren’t you a little too old for games?” Mrs. Malfoy drawled. 

“Mother,” Draco had finally caught up and was regarding the situation carefully. Astoria handed him his wand immediately. 

“You’re both still in your pajamas, at-“ Mrs. Malfoy checked her watch, “11:00? What if you’d had guests?” Mrs. Malfoy demanded, and Astoria almost wanted to defend herself by saying that they almost never had guests, but realized that would probably bring about even more judgment. 

“I’m sorry mother.” Draco mumbled shamefully looking at the tip of his shoes. 

“Anyway, it’s time to go home Draco.” Mrs. Malfoy commanded. 

“Let me get my things,” Draco said, off-put. Astoria felt as if she’d just been chucked off a cliff and told to stand up straight. 

“Don’t bother, the house elf will get them.” 

“I thought he was staying until Thursday?” Astoria demanded, the words out of her mouth before she could even think. 

“Excuse me?” Mrs. Malfoy said, shocked that Astoria would question her. 

“Ah! Narcissa! How lovely to see you!” Mrs. Greengrass suddenly appeared, placing her hand on her daughters’ shoulder, almost protectively. 

“Draco is going home now,” Astoria said to her mother, in almost a pleading way, hoping her mother could find some way to get the boy to stay. 

“He’s needed at home.” Mrs. Malfoy bit sharply at Mrs. Greengrass who Astoria didn’t even need to see, to know she was nodding with disapproving acceptance. 

“So, it’s happening tonight.” Mrs. Greengrass stated, with a dejected sort of tone, as if she’d failed at something. 

“It’s not your business.” Mrs. Malfoy snapped, and Mrs. Greengrass let out a short, hard laugh. Astoria looked up at her mother, surprised by her behavior. Astoria looked at Draco who seemed to have paled, he looked sick. 

“Draco are you alright?” Astoria asked attempting to walk towards him but Mrs. Greengrass’ hand kept her daughter in place. 

“Draco.” Mrs. Malfoy demanded cooly and Draco followed her like a lost puppy, he didn’t even spare a glance back at Astoria as he left the estate. 

“Mother!” Astoria snapped turning to Mrs. Greengrass. “What’s happening tonight? Why’d you let him go?” Astoria’s voice was verging on hysterics. 

“Astoria,” Mrs. Greengrass’ tone was sharp. “Sometimes things are not up to us, or in our control. Sometimes you just have to let them happen and learn to live with them.” The mother seemed angry and upset. 

“You didn’t even try.” Astoria exclaimed. 

“You have absolutely no idea what’s going on dear.” Mrs. Greengrass exclaimed.

“Then tell me!” Astoria screeched, “I want to know, but you keep me in the dark all the time! No one ever tells me anything!” It was officially a tantrum now, Astoria’s hands were balled into fists and tears were streaming out her eyes. Mrs. Greengrass pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“You are fifteen.” The mother sighed. “What’s going on right now, it’s not fit for a fifteen-year-old to deal with.” Mrs. Greengrass’ tone was sympathetic and something about that zapped the animosity in Astoria’s chest. 

“But Draco knows,” Astoria wined, only a bit petulantly. 

“If I could change that I would,” Mrs. Greengrass said sharply. “But he’s not my son. I don’t get to say what happens to him.” Astoria could see it now, the tiredness, the anger in Mrs. Greengrass’ eyes was not directed at her. It was directed at everything else that was going on. 

“Can I help you in the greenhouse today?” Astoria asked, feeling guilty for the spat and Mrs. Greengrass nodded, leading the young witch out to the massive greenhouse. Astoria compliantly pruned various plants for the afternoon in silence with her mother. 

It was three weeks later, and summer was more than halfway done before Astoria heard from Draco again.


	8. Thestrals, Weasley's Pranks, and Bobutbors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back haha! Hope you guys are excited for this chapter! It's a fun one, but get excited because there's Draco and action in the next one!

Astoria was not good at being bored, but she was also running low on entertainment. Her and Gwen had begun owling almost every other day, she’d rewritten every potion in Draco’s 4th year potions textbook, praying that the new potions professor would be using the same one. She’d even started helping her mother in the greenhouse, with the result of many bumps, bruises, and bites. Astoria even began looking forward to the tea’s she had with Ansley and Lizzy. The last three had passed without significant blunder or ill will. 

But it was a Wednesday night, and there was just over a month before she was due back to Hogwarts when Astoria copied the last potion in a checklist format, and she felt a tear fall. How had this summer become so terrible? The past two summers had been filled with shenanigans with Daphne and summers before that were filled with dinner parties, balls and teas. This summer had at least started out with Draco, but now she was left to just letters and a weekly tea with people she found pretty awful. The young witch was beginning to feel as if she was going to have to make a drastic change somewhere. 

At night she’d gotten into the habit of dreaming a grand escape, maybe she’d take the train and then she’d steal a thestral from Hogwarts (she’d watched her grandfather die when she was six years old), and fly to somewhere far away, like America, or Japan. She thought about taking a muggle plane, she was unsure how much that cost, or if she’d have enough muggle money, but she pictured herself in a trench coat and a suit like James Bond, sitting on a plane all mysterious, going to some far away and exotic place like Egypt. 

Most of the time her antsiness was quenched by simply taking a stroll around the grounds. But finishing her last potion, left an even worse feeling of hopelessness and boredom that would not be quelled by a simple dream or stroll. Even though it was dark out and nearly ten p.m. Astoria knew her mother would be awake. The young witch determinedly stomped out to her mother’s greenhouse. 

“I want to invite Draco over for dinner.” Astoria demanded as she located her mother who was ever so carefully tending her dittany. 

“Astoria…” Mrs. Greengrass trailed off looking at her daughter with a pitying look. 

“Fine, then I want to go to London again.” Astoria was getting desperate but a sigh and look from her mother told her that wasn’t an option either. 

“Mother I can’t do this anymore!” Astoria snapped. “Daphne won’t talk to me, Draco doesn’t come over anymore, the only people I see every week are Lizzy and Ansley and I hate them.” Astoria cried out. 

“You do not hate them,” Mrs. Greengrass murmured. 

“I do.” Astoria stubbornly asserted, “They’re mindless fascist supporters who spew what their parents tell them without a second thought and Lizzy is also a downright hag.” 

“Astoria.” Mrs. Greengrass’ tone was warning. 

“Fine! Whatever! I’m stuck here all alone for days on end!” Astoria cried out. 

“You are not alone.” Mrs. Greengrass said sternly. Astoria huffed. 

“I need to talk to people my own age.” Astoria explained, with a little less emotion in her tone. “I’m going bloody nuts, for real.” She added. 

“Fine. If you want your friends from London can come for a day, to the manor. They’ll have to floo in and out, and you’ll have to stay inside, but if you feel that desperate, they can come.” Mrs. Greengrass sighed. Astoria winced. Her friends, here, in her home. 

“Um, alright.” Astoria said unsurely, and Mrs. Greengrass gave her a look of pity. Astoria wandered up the path, padded up the stairs and went to bed, her sleep was filled with nightmares of portraits escaping their frames and yelling at her friends. They were quite frightening. 

The next morning Astoria swallowed her fear like an unpleasant flavor of bertie botts beans, and set out to write both Clive and Gwen, inviting them and including instructions on how to floo to her home. The date was set for that Friday, just a day away. Astoria sent Bertie on his way and looked at herself in the reflection of the mirror. Would it be worth it? To see and speak to her friends in person? It was too late now to reconsider. 

For the rest of the day Astoria glumly wandered around the manor, she wondered what to show them, what they’d do while stuck inside. The pool, badminton court, and quidditch shed were all outside so that ruled those activities. Inside was wizard chess, something neither of them ever really picked up or enjoyed, the library which had mostly boring books, the study which had nothing really exciting in it, the ballroom where perhaps they could do a waltz, or maybe duel? Astoria groaned, there was absolutely nothing fun to do, and if they were stuck inside it would absolutely suck. 

That night Astoria sat down to dinner with Daphne and her mother for the first time in about a week. 

“Astoria is having friends over tomorrow, make sure you’re nice to them.” Mrs. Greengrass said kindly. 

“Lizzy and Ansley are coming over again this week?” Daphne asked surprise. 

“No. Gwen and Clive are coming.” Astoria shot back, willing Daphne to make some comment. 

“Merlin’s beard, Mother, you know they’re muggle born, right?” Daphne asked incredulously and Mrs. Greengrass’ expression strained. 

“I know dear, they’re still Astoria’s friends.” Mrs. Greengrass supplied. 

“I cannot believe you’re letting mudbloods on the estate, what if someone sees? We could become blood traitors from it! Ostracized from society!” Daphne exclaimed and Mrs. Greengrass nodded, understandingly. 

“Astoria promised me they’d stay inside, they’re flooing in and out, it’ll be alright Daphne.” Mrs. Greengrass consoled her daughter and Astoria felt her anger spike. The young witch did her best to control herself, better not jeopardize her friends coming over tomorrow. 

Dinner went by quietly after that, and Astoria retired to her room immediately after. The young witch looked around at the clutter and suddenly felt acutely insecure about her room, would they think it’s too much? Too wizadry? She remembered Gwen’s room, all modern and the epitome of normal. It wasn’t cluttered at all. Astoria took a deep breath and brushed it all off, if tomorrow was awful then it was awful. Just one day. 

After tossing and turning all night Astoria must’ve fallen asleep at around two in the morning. She woke in a frenzy at around ten, incredibly late for her. Sorrell was informed her that her guests would be here in a couple minutes. 

Astoria paused, should she wear muggle clothes, or normal clothes? Running out of time she just threw on the first thing in her wardrobe, which happened to be muggle jeans and a nice wizarding world blouse, thin and silk. 

Astoria arrived just in time for Clive to essentially fall out of the floo, somehow all dirty and dusty. He sneezed rather largely and wiped his face, leaving a big streak of ash. 

“Astoria!” He grinned, clearly completely unaware of his surroundings, he dove in for a big bear hug and Astoria stopped him with a hand outstretched. 

“Clive! You’re disgusting!” Astoria cried out laughing, Clive grinned even madder and tried again to give Astoria a big hug. She waved her wand and quickly cleaned the young wizard whose mouth dropped at the action. 

“Astoria! You could get in so much trouble for that!” He admonished. 

“They can’t tell whose magic is whose here,” Astoria waved it off and watched Clive look around. 

“Wow, you know they always said you were just as rich as Malfoy, but I guess I just never believed it.” Clive laughed awkwardly and Astoria winced. 

“Yeah, well, it’s my family’s money, not really mine, so.” Astoria trailed off awkwardly and Clive shrugged good naturedly. “Well I can’t wait for the grand tour.” He exclaimed and Astoria nodded, confident they would not be getting a full tour. 

Gwen was much more graceful, and she didn’t even need someone to clean her up. She popped out, brushed off her pinafore dress and grinned wildly. 

“See Clive? I told you her house would be bigger than mine!” Gwen exclaimed smugly the minute she got up. 

“Oh shut up.” Clive good naturedly laughed.

“Merlins Beard, I’ve missed you so much!” Gwen sighed, using wizarding slang and grabbing Astoria for a big hug. “I can’t believe we used to go entire summers without each other. Boggles my mind!” Gwen moving on from Astoria to Clive. 

“So, do you guys want to come up to my room?” Astoria asked and Gwen nodded vigorously. 

It turned out that in her bag Gwen had packed the latest muggle CDs, which they obviously listened to, good muggle crips, which they obviously snacked on, outfit’s she’d apparently packed for each of them and a camera. 

Hours of gossiping and stories, two bags of crisps, and 3 CDs later Gwen laid out of the outfits. 

“Okay so, I was thinking it’s kind of a muggle thing to take pictures your final year of primary school and I know it’s not our final year, but, I saw these outfits and I had to grab them for you guys and see you in them, so-“ 

“Gwen I think you actually count as a shopaholic,” Astoria laughed. 

“I do! I am! I’m a shopaholic!” Gwen cried out, laughing. “But put these on, and you’ll thank me.” Clive rolled his eyes but he was grinning. 

Everyone changed quickly and Astoria smiled, it felt a little bit like dress up, but it was still fun. She looked like a muggle in her high rise jeans and tank but she liked it. 

“Okay sit on the couch, oh and Clive put your arm around Astoria, Astoria, put your head on his shoulder, oh my god, blimey! You guys look perfect wow!” Gwen was clicking the camera, and there were flashes. 

“Let me get a picture of you guys!” Clive immediately exclaimed getting up, Gwen handed him the camera and she came and sat down next to Astoria. Gwen put her hand on Astoria and pulled her closer, making Astoria crack up. Gwen was ingenious with poses and Astoria couldn’t stop laughing the whole time, especially when Gwen grabbed her face and left the sloppiest kiss ever. 

Astoria heard the signature pop of a house elf and looked behind Clive, where Sorrell stood with butter beers. 

“Madam Greengrass asked me to drop these off.” The house elf said, clearly uncomfortable in the presence of the muggleborns. 

“Thanks Sorrell!” Astoria said, and immediately grabbed the tray of butter beers so Sorrell could apparate away. 

“Butter beer!” Clive grinned, and he took a large gulp of his. “Wow, it has been too long.” He sighed elated and Gwen took a happy gulp of hers too. 

“Okay wait let me just grab a photo of us all three, and then we can be done,” 

Waiting for Gwen to figure out how to take a photo of the three of them took nearly ages, and then after all the poses Astoria was surprised the sun hadn’t already set. 

“Let me get a photo of you two!” Astoria said, curious as to what would happen. Gwen smiled and showed Astoria how to take a photo, it seemed simple. She winded the reel thing and then pressed the button. 

As she prepared for the next photo, Clive all but pulled Gwen into her lap and they both habitually turned to kiss each other on the cheek at the same time and ended up kissing each other. Astoria snapped the photo and they lingered in the position a little too long before blushing. 

“Wait Astoria-“ Gwen asked sheepishly, “Do you have a cauldron here? And Potions stuff?” She asked and Astoria nodded. 

Hours later they found themselves in the study as Gwen worked hard to make sweets that would change her hair crazy different colors.

“I swear the potion looks so easy!” Gwen huffed and Astoria looked over the instructions that Gwen had scribbled down. 

“Who gave this to you?” Astoria asked skeptically. 

“Some guy in Diagon Alley, I paid a whole galleon for it!” Gwen exclaimed and Clive looked over from the Witch Weekly magazine he was reading at Gwen’s frustrated outburst. 

“What’d he look like?” Astoria asked with a real suspicion to who it might be. 

“Red hair, super tall and lanky-“ 

“Gwen that was a Weasley for sure!” Astoria laughed. 

“As in Ron Weasley?” Gwen said her eyebrows furrowed. 

“Yeah but more specifically one of the twins who set fireworks off during exams last year.” Astoria explained and recognition swept over Gwen’s face. 

“Bloody hell, I knew I recognized him from somewhere!” Gwen exclaimed hitting the table. “Merlin, do you think the potions a prank?” She asked sadly. 

“Probably not, they’re very into pranks, if they thought you were planning to cause mischief, I’m sure they’d help you out.” Astoria supplied looking over the instructions once more. “You know, let’s rewrite the potion out but with checkboxes like a list, that way we can make sure we’re doing everything just perfect right,” Astoria instructed stealing Draco’s little tip. 

Sure enough, the potion looked perfect to pour into the rubber sweets mold Astoria had found in the kitchen. They let it cool and the candy’s popped out looking perfect. 

“Want to try a sweet?” Gwen asked Clive gleefully who shook his head. 

“Even if I wanted to have bright pink hair, I wouldn’t want to be the test rat for you two. I’ve seen you guys in potions, and I do not like those odds.” Clive said amused. 

“Oh c’mon,” Gwen pleaded but Clive just shook his head. Astoria shrugged. 

“I’ll take one.” Astoria figured it wouldn’t be too bad and Gwen grinned. Astoria popped one in her mouth and felt her scalp tickle. 

Clive and Gwen broke out into shrieking laughter. 

“Oh no,” Astoria laughed good heartedly. “I can’t look, tell me the color.” Astoria winced. 

“Guess,” Clive demanded between giggles. 

“Pink,” Astoria said and Gwen shook her head, “Um… Yellow?” 

“Close…” Clive laughed. 

“Oh no.. is it orange?” Astoria grimaced and at their fervent nods and loud cackles Astoria finally worked up the nerve to look in the mirror at herself and she howled with laughter. “I look terrible!” Astoria laughed loudly. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll take one in solidarity.” Gwen said and looked at Clive pointedly. 

“No, I am not doing that.” Clive put his hands up. 

“Clive!” Gwen exclaimed, “You have too, we’re in it together. Look how terrible Astoria looks, are you really gonna make her go it alone?” Gwen exclaimed and Clive groaned. 

“Fine. Fine. Just give me one.” He huffed and took it. 

Clive’s hair was a deep magenta, and Gwen had a light blue. Gwen made sure to snap a picture of the three of them and later while staring at themselves in the mirror Gwen came to a conclusion. 

“We look like troll dolls.” Gwen said with an even and definitive tone. 

“I think we look sexy,” Clive joked, “kind of like punk rockers.” He added, playing with his hair. 

“So how long does it last?” Astoria asked Gwen who simply shrugged. 

“No bloody clue.” Gwen said calmly like Astoria asked for the weather. 

“Gwen!!” Astoria screeched. 

“I’m going to kill you!” Clive cried out, Gwen laughed evily. 

Apparently, the magic lasted only for an hour. Their hair slowly started turning back to normal while they snacked on some pumpkin pastries and enchanted pieces of paper so they’d fly like birds around the room. 

“God I’m so jealous you can just do magic in your living room. It must be so nice.” Gwen sighed, drinking her third butter beer of the day. 

“I think it’d feel more fun if it still felt forbidden. I always forget you guys aren’t allowed to.” Astoria admitted and Clive hummed. 

“I have to be home for dinner,” Gwen sighed glumly. “Which is in like three minutes,” she added, looking at her muggle watch. 

“We should go shopping for our books together,” Clive said. 

“Yeah! We should be getting our letters soon, shouldn’t we?” Gwen asked. 

“Usually the last week in July.” Astoria nodded and Gwen sighed. 

“Well, I’m off then. Clive, if you want you can floo home with me and my driver can drive you home,” Gwen offered and Clive nodded gratefully. 

“I had to sneak into my neighbor’s house to use their fireplace.” He admitted. “I haven’t got one.” 

Gwen had almost thrown the powder in the fire place when something popped into her head. “I’ll owl you the photos when I get them developed – also I have some ones from the party when you visited.” Gwen said with a wink before flooing home. Astoria winced at that implication. 

Astoria saw them off and realized this was the first good day she’d had since Draco left three weeks ago. 

“You’re in a good mood.” Mrs. Greengrass noted as Astoria ate dinner in the form of toast, with her mother in the Greenhouse that night. Mrs. Greengrass was dutifully repotting some bobotuber into larger pots, being careful not to pop the puss filled spots. 

“Yeah, I had a lot of fun today.” Astoria remarked picking the crust off to eat it first in order to get it out of the way. 

“I’m happy to hear that.” Mrs. Greengrass said warmly. “Did you do anything particularly fun?” The mother asked curiously, she’d heard the laughter from the greenhouse. 

“Yeah, we made sweets that change the color of your hair, would you like one?” Astoria jokingly remarked but Mrs. Greengrass shook her head, smiling to herself. 

“Can you help me for a quick second? This bobotubor is heavier than I thought,” Mrs. Greengrass said, and Astoria shoved the rest of her toast into her mouth before grabbing the new larger pot to place under the bobotubor. “Thanks, dear,” Mrs. Greengrass said warmly, and Astoria nodded. 

Astoria grabbed a couple pots for her mother, and they wordlessly planted the bobotubors together. Astoria watched her mother’s frail hands and dirty fingernails as they adeptly broke roots and lightly tossed dirt to encourage the growth of the roots into the larger pots. Her mother’s arms were thin and sinewy but in a way that still implied strength, the bobotubors she was holding were actually quite heavy and while they required a good amount of strength to hold them they also required delicacy in order to not pop all the spots littered about their trunks. 

After the bobotubers were all replanted and watered and put back into their respective shelves Astoria looked at her mother’s face curiously, she looked as if she hadn’t been sleeping well. 

“Mother,” Astoria asked, and Mrs. Greengrass turned to look at her daughter. 

“Did you love father before you got married?” Astoria asked innocently, and Mrs. Greengrass’ smile was sad when she shook her head. 

“No, I didn’t. I came to love him, as we got to know each other but at first, I did not.” Mrs. Greengrass admitted. 

“How much time do you reckon he has left?” Astoria asked guiltily, wiping the dirt from the bobotubors on her trousers. 

“I… don’t know dear.” Mrs. Greengrass said sadly. “It’s thanks to merlin he’s lasted even this long. Magic is the only thing keeping him alive right now.” She explained and Astoria nodded, already knowing that. She guiltily couldn’t even remember the last time she’d entered his room, slowly it’d become a place to avoid, not that he was ever a super present parent but in his comatose state he was even worse. It didn’t even look like him, all shriveled up in that cot. 

“He looks terrible.” Astoria noted coldly. 

“I know, but you should spend as much time as you can with him before he’s gone.” Mrs. Greengrass said emptily, sort of like it was something a mother was supposed to say, and not something she really believed. 

“He’s practically already gone.” Astoria mumbled. Mrs. Greengrass gave her daughter a pitying look before taking a deep breath and turning back to her plants in the greenhouse, effectively ending the conversation. 

Astoria took a deep breath before getting up and leaving the greenhouse. She walked up the path and looked into the night sky that seemed so expansive over her head. She softly padded up the stairs to her room, changed into her pajamas, and fell right to sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.


	9. Measurements, Treats, and Furniture Shopping

“Didn’t mother Greengrass ever teach you not to eavesdrop?” Sneered the same man who answered the door at Malfoy Manor weeks prior. His hair hung in disgusting greasy clumps limply around his face, twisting and turning and coiling. His breath smelt like a decaying animal as it wafted across Astoria’s face. His teeth were rotting and his lips were cracked in so many places they barely looked like lips anymore. His nose was pointy and crooked as if it’d been broken many times. The man’s wand was sticking straight into Astoria’s neck. 

“Astoria,” Daphne called, entering the alleyway in front of the shop. Her big grey eyes immediately snapped to her trembling younger sister. 

“Aw, is this big sissy Greengrass?” The man gleefully chirped. 

“Mr. Dolohov.” Daphne responded; her tone deeply guarded. 

“You should keep a better eye on your little sister, she keeps finding herself in places she doesn’t belong.” The newly identified Mr. Dolohov spat, pushing his wand a little deeper into Astoria’s neck, his smelly body even closer, before pushing off. Taking a couple steps back, the deatheater regarded both girls with a look of contempt, before shaking his head. 

“I will.” Daphne said firmly, hoping it’d be enough to prompt the man to go back inside and leave them alone. 

“And send your mother a message for me,” Mr. Dolohovs grin gave Astoria the chills. “Tell her, the Dark Lord is very interested in her repertoire of curses. Especially the ones she used on Mr. Warble, turned his insides all jelly and what not, had his brain leaking out of his ears and eyes.” 

“She would never!” Astoria shrieked; her skin pale. Mr. Dolohov turned back to the younger Greengrass, his face smug, he pinched her chin so she was staring straight into his eyes. 

“Want to see?” He asked, raising his eyebrows in challenge. 

“You’re lying.” Astoria set her tone. 

“Call my bluff deary,” Mr. Dolohov said eerily calm, coldly confident. 

“Astoria,” Daphne warned. 

“Show me.” Astoria demanded. The old dangerous wizard shuffled around in his pockets for a flask and extracted his memory. He placed the vial in Astoria’s cloak pocket before turning on his heal and walking back into Borgin and Burkes. Daphne stomped over and reached for the vial. 

“Destroy that Astoria,” Daphne demanded. 

“No!” Astoria spat her hand clasped around the vial. “And I’ll hex you if you get any closer!” Astoria sputtered as Daphne reached for the vial. 

Hours Earlier 

“Astoria! Get dressed we’re going to Diagon Alley!” Daphne shouted even though Astoria was in fine hearing range.

“What?” Astoria asked, surprised, getting up from where she’d been, ashamedly, reading Teen Witch magazine. 

“The Malfoy’s are taking us.” Daphne chirped. 

“You mean Draco and Mrs. Malfoy.” Astoria retorted. 

“Yes, the Malfoy’s.” Daphne rolled her eyes, “Anyway wear something nice, they’re apparating here in a couple minutes.” Daphne instructed before leaving the room. Astoria quickly dressed in her simpliest nice wizarding robes before meeting Daphne in the foyer. 

Astoria stood politely in Narcissa’s presence, with her hands neatly behind her back. Astoria couldn’t help but shrink under the matrons cruel glances, something quite impressive to muster bearing in mind Narcissa’s current state. 

Narcissa’s skin looked so pale Astoria wondered if she’d even eaten a thing over the past few days. Her hair, famous for its grey streak, had turned more grey in the past three weeks than it had in the past three years. Draco’s face was more chiseled in his malnourished state, and he had deep bags that almost teetered on looking bruised. His eyes were blank and sickly, his body looked as if it was rejecting itself, clearly the dark magic and cursed atmosphere had taken a toll on the mother and son. 

“Hello,” Astoria broke the uncomfortable silence, nodding at both of the guests. 

“Good afternoon.” Mrs. Malfoy coldly responded. “Are you ready to go?” She asked, her eyebrows raised almost as if she was willing the girls to put up some sort of fuss or resist. Astoria looked over to Daphne who simply blankly nodded, Astoria felt Narcissa’s cool gaze on her again, so she quickly nodded as well. 

Draco grabbed Astoria’s arm, and Astoria felt the tug between her eyes as they apparated to Diagon Alley. Narcissa looked back at the party of three before setting off to Flourish and Bolts. Draco’s books were all waiting in a stack behind the counter, and Mrs. Malfoy was quick to exchange a galleon or two for the stack. She grimaced as she turned to see Astoria and Daphne checking their lists as they maneuvered around clumps of other eager Hogwarts students. 

“Astoria!” Draco quipped, his long legs and the other witches and wizards proneness to evade him at all costs allowed him to catch up to the witch quickly. 

“Let me help you grab your books, what are your electives?” Draco demanded, the gesture seeming less nice and more like a necessity based on the curious and judgmental glances from the students around the shop. 

“Umm,” Astoria mumbled looking back down at her paper. 

“How do you not know your electives?” He snapped. 

“I just forgot! Merlin,” Astoria bit back sharply. “Arithmancy, Runes, and Magical Creatures.” She said looking up from her list. “So, Numerology and Grammatica, Fantastic Beasts, and Where to Find them, and Ancient Runes Made Easy.” Astoria listed off, and Draco nodded before setting off to find them. 

Somehow even with Draco’s help Astoria was still the last one ready to go, piling her books next to an impatient looking Daphne while Mrs. Malfoy stood outside with her arms crossed against her chest. 

“I wish we knew Mrs. Malfoy had called ahead; we could’ve done the same.” Daphne lamented uncomfortably. “I had no idea how rude people could be, staring at them like they’re on exhibit!” The older Greengrass muttered to her younger sister. 

“I don’t know why they’re taking us. Why couldn’t we have gone alone?” Astoria muttered. 

“You’re not excited to spend some quality time with your boyfriend? Haven’t you been throwing a fit missing him so bad?” Daphne cruely taunted. 

“That’s not true! And he’s not my boyfriend!” Astoria hissed at her sister angrily, her face turning an embarrassing red. 

“Whatever,” Daphne rolled her eyes and shoved the mountain of books into an expanding pouch, throwing some galleons on the counter before heading off. 

“Is it alright if I stop at Eeylops Owl Emporium to pick up some things for Bertie while Draco gets fitted for new robes?” Astoria asked Mrs. Malfoy politely. 

“Be quick.” The old woman sighed. Astoria dashed off with Daphne. 

“What are you getting Bertie?” Daphne asked irately, “You actually need to be fast, because we need new robes too.” Daphne added before Astoria could respond. 

“I just wanted to get him a new toy to reward him for all his work this summer. He’s been flying back and forth from London an awful lot.” Astoria hummed. 

“He’s an owl, that’s his job.” Daphne bit back. 

“Well he’s been doing an extra swell job and I thought that deserved something extra swell as a reward!” Astoria stubbornly insisted, Daphne rolled her eyes but followed her sister into the store. 

“Should I get him treats or a little toy to play with?” Astoria asked as they entered the shop. In front of her was an enchanted mouse that ran around in circles, and eyelops premium owl treats. 

“I think he’d prefer the treats.” Daphne said. 

“Alright,” Astoria said, grabbing the bag and walking to the counter, waiting patiently as Daphne handed over a couple knucles. Both girls were surprised to find Draco and Mrs. Malfoy standing outside the emporium, especially as they immediately set off in the opposite direction of Madam Malkins upon seeing the girls. 

“Where are we going?” Astoria asked curiously, looking back at the robe store she needed to go to. 

“To Twillfit and Tattings.” Mrs. Malfoy snapped, she walked at a breakneck speed and Astoria couldn’t help but feel a little sour for the afternoon. She felt like a prop dragged along to make the Malfoys seems less unapproachable, and she felt like surely it wasn’t working. 

Astoria loathed Twillfit and Tattings, the wizard who owned the shop, Ermenegildo, smelled strongly of perfume and had a thick Italian accent that made him hard to understand. He was also unapologetically judgmental about his customers, famous for loudly remarking about peculiar measurements or unsightly bodies. Worst of all, Ermenegildo was the worst gossip and she felt confident that every single pureblood who’d come to get fitted after her would hear how her and Daphne had gone with the Malfoy’s to get their robes. 

Ermenegildo was quick with Draco but spent a longer time with Daphne, whispering things to her. Astoria noticed that Daphne had set her jaw and eventually stopped answering to whatever the tailor had been quietly egging her on with. When the measurements were done he ushered Astoria to the platform where she stood stiffly. 

“You know, I don’t think I’ve tailored anything for you since your father took you here when you were a young witch.” Ermenegildo pretended to be wistful. “I knew back then you’d grow up to be absolutely stunning.” The tailor sighed. Astoria felt her skin crawl and immediately wanted out of the shop. She looked up helplessly, part of her was relieved to see that Draco wasn’t in the room, at some point he’d wandered out of the store. 

Daphne watched the tailor closely her eyes narrow and suspicious at every move he made. 

“You look just like your aunt, you’ve probably only seen her in portraits as she’s passed now, but truly, identical.” Ermenegildo murmured, “She drove all the wizards mad too.” The tailor tacked on at the end and Astoria found herself raising her head, purposefully trying to ignore his comments. She felt bile rise in her throat as the man handily took her waist measurement, caressing her skin in a way she hadn’t seen him do with her sister. At this Daphne approached the platform. 

“Are you almost done? We’ve got somewhere to be.” Daphne said harshly, her arms crossing across her chest. 

“Hmm?” Ermenegildo looked almost caught off guard by Daphne’s hostility, but quickly caught on and nodded. “Yes, yes, finishing up right now.” He nodded using his magical measuring tools to get the rest, his quill scribbling them down. “Your robes will be owled to you in the next couple of days.” He added. 

“Lovely.” Daphne’s arm wrapped around Astoria tightly, something that hadn’t happened in at least a year. Mrs. Malfoy looked down at the two girls disapprovingly as Daphne a little aggressively handed the galleons to the tailor. 

Once out of the shop Mrs. Malfoy looked cold and uncomfortable, she was speaking to Draco in a hushed tone. Draco looked reluctant to whatever his mother was telling him. Astoria wanted to approach and eavesdrop but Daphne held her hand tightly, keeping her in place. 

When the conversation concluded Mrs. Malfoy looked over to the two Greengrass girls. 

“Draco and I have something to attend to, I think it’s time you girls go home.” Mrs. Malfoy instructed cooly, shocking both Astoria and Daphne. 

“I can aparate you home.” Draco mumbled and Astoria opened her mouth to protest, but closed it when she realized it’d do no good. In a moment of pettiness Daphne apparated home without a word of passing or goodbye. 

“Thanks for taking us to Diagon Alley.” Astoria mumbled, unable to fake the necessary thankful tone for what she’d describe as perhaps one of the worst afternoons this summer. Being around Draco for an hour but not being able to speak once was almost worse than not being around him at all. This Draco was cold, distant, and completely preoccupied much more like a suit of Armor at Hogwarts than an actual person. 

Astoria tried not feel warmth at the small amount of contact she got with Draco before he apparated her home. She opened her eyes to their Foyer, where Draco stood awkwardly. 

“Where are you going?” Astoria demanded. 

“Just um, some furniture shopping.” Draco mumbled and Astoria scrunched her face up puzzled. 

“See you.” Draco looked uncomfortable and apparated away. 

For less than a minute Astoria stood in place, pondering the afternoon, Draco’s attitude and the reason for them being dragged along from shop to shop with the Malfoy’s before she made her decision. The young witch sped walked to the study before either mother or sister could stop her and grabbed floo powder. 

“Leaky Cauldron.” Astoria commanded before diving through her fireplace. 

Astoria immediately darted out the door, confident someone would be right behind her, she slid into the first store she saw. 

“Hello Miss, can I interest you in anything today?” An old Irish accent asked Astoria, as she walked past some shelves full of cauldrons she saw an old tall gangly man standing behind a counter, he was flanked on either side by smoking cauldrons, all of which illuminated his face in various colors. 

“Err-“ Astoria quickly checked over her shoulder to see if anyone had followed her. When she saw a blonde head that looked a bit too much like Daphne’s she quickly turned back around to the shop attendant and approached the counter. 

“What about a joke?” He asked gleefully. 

“Alright,” Astoria mumbled, acutely aware she had absolutely no money to buy anything. 

“What do you call a cauldron hanging high up in a tree?” The attendant asked eagerly. 

“Uhh….” Astoria mumbled, preparing the to think of the answer.

“A high pot noose!” The old Irish man bellowed less than a second later. 

“I don’t get it.” Astoria mumbled trying to understand the joke. 

“Imagine I’m saying hypotenuse!” 

“Hyp-what?” Astoria was bewildered. 

“It’s a type of triangle, have you started arithmancy yet?” The attendant sternly asked just as the bells of the front door jingled. Astoria dodged behind a cauldron before who ever entered could see her. 

“Excuse me sir,” Daphne asked and Astoria’s faced paled. Seeing Astoria’s expression and putting it all together the shop attendant nodded to a door with “staff only” scribbled on it. Astoria gratefully nodded and made a run for it as quietly as possible. 

She found herself in a small alleyway behind all the shops, it smelled like trash and ruined potions. As she stumbled down the alley she stepped over scurrying rats ands vermin. 

Only a couple shops down she located a place where she could make it back onto the main street, the alleyway had another offshoot that led it back to where witches and wizards were slowly finishing up their shopping and heading to the dinner places or apparating home. Astoria looked over her shoulder one last time, confirming that Daphne had not followed her, and she darted onto the main road. She pulled her hood over head and did her best to look at the ground concealing her face. 

Only this made it hard to see and she ended up bumping into a person or two. Astoria realized immediately also that she had absolutely no idea where she was going, in her minute of thinking she’d not even thought to confirm what furniture shopping meant, assuming that was even the truth. 

The only two places in Diagon alley that sold furniture was Borgin and Burkes or the Junk shop, neither places the Malfoy’s would go to grab a new chaise or wardrobe. Unless…. 

Working on her best hunch yet Astoria turned down Knockturn alley, famous for its dark magic and creepy crawlies. She stuck to the shadows and kept her hood up, just as everyone else in Knockturn alley did, purposefully trying to be inconspicuous and unrecognizable. She nearly fell over when a bewitched jack and the box popped out at her, full with tendrils of smoke and sharp teeth. 

Astoria approached the entrance of Borgin and Burkes and pulled her hood down. She pushed the large doors open and surveyed the piles of skulls and knick knacks on the walls. 

“Good Evening Miss,” A frail old man approached her, his skin sallow and hanging off his bones in an unnatural way only spawned from a hundred years of being around dark magic and curses. “I’m sorry but I don’t believe I can help you today, we’re about to close.” His voice was swarmy and it caused the hairs on the back of Astoria’s neck. 

“That’s alright, I’m just looking for someone, we got separated earlier this evening.” Astoria prompted, but when the old man said nothing, simply looked her up and down and scowled, like he’d come to some conclusion of his own Astoria went further. “Perhaps you’ve seen him? He’s blonde? Was here with his mother?” Astoria asked. 

At this the old man turned on his heel and grabbed his wand from his pocket. At this Astoria retrieved her own wand, but the man simply disappeared through a back hall. Astoria felt a sinking feeling in her stomach and she began slowly retreating out of the store front. Just as her back pressed against the front door, causing the chime to sound, the man from Malfoy Manor weeks prior emerged from the hall with his wand raised. 

At this Astoria turned and ran, ducking and dodging when she heard a spell whiz through the air. The people milling about Knockturn alley seemed unperturbed by the young witch sprinting out of Borgin and Burkes avoiding spells, most of them not even lifting their heads, even as she darted down a small path between Borgin and Burkes and the bordering Poison Shop. 

Daphne had spotted Astoria just as she turned down Knockturn Alley. The cloak she was wearing was navy blue with gold stitching and had small stars embroidered along the edges of the thing. It was handmade by a woman in Persia, and had been custom made for Astoria for Christmas last year. Daphne had a matching one, it was purple and had moons and planets, and she could spot it from a hundred yards away. 

Irritation rose up in Daphne’s gut, this was typical of Astoria. Since they were children, she’d just get a feeling that she wanted to do something or go somewhere else and then up and leave, just like that, no thought about the people around her, or her responsibilities. 

The worst part about this Daphne believed, was that Astoria always somehow ended up fine. On vacation if Astoria felt bored and decided to fun off to a souq or garden or even talk to a muggle kiosk owner their mother always ended up finding her. If at school Astoria suddenly decided she was tired of watching quidditch and wanted to go for a walk through a forbidden greenhouse it’d just be waved off as a mistake, she mustn’t have known. 

Everyone always gave Astoria the benefit of the doubt Daphne decided, everyone always just accommodated to her, worked around her outbursts and sudden decisions. Let them go, let her be, and it created this monster. A fifteen year old girl who felt so indestructible that she didn’t even bother hiding the fact that she snuck out and then wandered into Knockturn Alley, a street their own mother tried to steer clear of. 

By the time Daphne reached Knockturn Alley, Astoria was nowhere in sight, meaning she must’ve slipped into a shop, peculiar since Astoria wasn’t even carrying a knuckle to her name at the moment. Daphne didn’t even bother trying to question the actions or reason where her sister might’ve gone, confident there was no reason to it at all. 

A flash of red and then another flash of green zapped from a wand, narrowly missed a blue cloaked witch and absorbed into the stone work of the building across the street from Borgin and Burkes. Daphne grabbed her wand and sped walk to where the young witch and pursuing wizard had ran. It was a small cramped alleyway dimly lit. 

“Astoria!” Daphne called, immediately locating her trembling younger sister, pressed against the walls of Borgin and Burkes by a deatheater. 

“Aw, is this big sissy Greengrass?” The disgusting wizard gleefully chirped, it made Daphne stomach churn the way he was acting.

“Mr. Dolohov,” Daphne cooly addressed the man her wand tightly gripped, partly to mask her fear but also partly because Daphne was testing the Killing Curse in her mouth, seeing how it felt, preparing for when the time came, preparing to really mean it. 

“You should keep a better eye on your little sister, she keeps finding herself in places she doesn’t belong.” Mr. Dolohov sneered leaning even furthing into Astoria, Daphne identified a singular tear slip from Astoria’s left eye as she struggled futily against him, or maybe she was just shaking, Daphne couldn’t tell. Eventually Mr. Dolohov took a step back, most likely to be able to regard both daughters at the same time. 

“I will.” Daphne declared, hoping it at least sounded strong, she wanted the man to just go inside and leave them alone. 

“And send your mother a message for me. Tell her, the Dark Lord is very interested in her repertoire of curses. Especially the ones she used on Mr. Warble, turned his insides all jelly and what not, had his brain leaking out of his ears and eyes.” 

“She would never!” Astoria shrieked, causing Mr. Dolohov to focus all of his attention back on her. Daphne realized in this instance if she wanted to fire the Killing curse she could, she could kill him, tell Astoria he was just riling her up, and they could go home. He was an Azkaban escapee, she might not even get in trouble, for now at least. 

“Want to see?” Dolohov asked, raising his eyebrows in challenge. Daphne grimaced, suspecting what was about to occur. 

“You’re lying.” Astoria set her tone. 

“Call my bluff deary,” Mr. Dolohov taunted her. 

“Astoria,” Daphne was hoping to emit all the emotion she could out of Astoria’s own name, this wasn’t worth it, she would regret this, they needed to go. 

“Show me.” Astoria demanded. Dolohov put the memory in a vial from his pocket. Daphne immediately rushed up to them. 

“Destroy that Astoria,” Daphne demanded. 

“No!” Astoria spat her hand clasped around the vial. “And I’ll hex you if you get any closer!” Astoria sputtered as Daphne reached for the vial. Daphne felt her anger spike at the childish behavoir. 

“Astoria, I am your older sister. As truly annoying as you are, at the end of the day it’s my job to take care of you and that’s what I’m doing right now. Now, give me the flask.” Daphne spat but Astoria shook her head and ran. Mr. Dolohov, most likely in pure instinct to a fleeing witch fired something wordless at the fleeing Astoria and on instinct Daphne fired a nonverbal petrificus totalus at him. He didn’t even notice the body binding spell come his way, and he froze, falling to the ground in a heap. 

Daphne stood in Knockturn alley for a second, looking at the incapacitated man, turning to see where her sister fled, and then back at her own wand. She’d fired an non verbal curse, she’d incapacitated a death eater, and her sister had foolishly gotten them both into so much trouble. Daphne clenched and then unclenched her fist before raising her hood and stalking out of the alleyway. 

Ironically at nearly the same time that a number of other witches and wizards were filing out of Borgin and Burkes. Daphne did her best to keep her head down, draw no extra attention as she filed out of Knockturn alley and apparated home.


	10. Dirty Cloaks, Muggle London and the Three Broomsticks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is going to be a long note: 
> 
> Firstly this chapter finally deserves the Mature Rating I gave this work. Which ugh, I have SO many conflicted feelings about, this is my first time writing smut (so please, take it easy) to add onto it, Astoria is 15 (actually I'm not even sure if she's supposed to be 15, like I think unless her bday is in the summer she might actually be 14? but I just cannot even imagine that so for my own sake she's 15) and I honestly thought about just changing it and making her a fifth year since Draco is a sixth year and I just do not like the age gap and I do not like how young she is but I also really really want to try and stick at least a little to what happened in the real books. SO I made the decision earlier in that she'd be 15 and now I'm seriously regretting it. 
> 
> Also the sex is unhealthy, their sexual relationship will CONTINUE to be unhealthy throughout the work. She's fifteen and she's emotional and she's doing it for all the wrong reasons and that's just honestly, I feel like the most realistic. When you have sex at fifteen, usually you're immature and you're doing it for all the wrong reasons and it usually sucks, and I'm not going to glorify it or act like it's like dark hot sex, like they're young kids impulsively doing it and yeah. It's part of the character development and their relationship development so that's it, hopefully you guys enjoy? Idk lol

Mrs. Greengrass was well over the average height of a witch, it was easy to forget with her distaste for heals and her sometimes bizarre behavior. Her face was also angular and sharp, without the help of makeup, and it held something truly intimidating about it, typically softened by her usual loving and concentrated expressions. 

But the way the woman was positioned in front of the fireplace, which she felt confident Astoria would floo into, made all of those factors no longer forgettable. It didn’t matter that the pajamas Mrs. Greengrass wore were a yellow floral pattern, or the fact that she’d clearly been in the garden all day, dirt under her fingernails and on her arm. It didn’t even matter that she hadn’t spoken a word yet, she was enough to make any person tremble. 

Daphne sat with her arms crossed, waiting for her sister, her stupid sister who had absolutely no sense of self-preservation or self awareness. Who had such a pension for trouble and danger she ought to be sent somewhere far away until this whole mess was over, who couldn’t even be trusted to watch after herself at fifteen years old. 

Astoria had no plans of flooing home, she didn’t have any other plans, or anywhere else to stay or go but she knew she couldn’t go home. She didn’t have a single galleon in her pocket, her owl was unfortunately at home, and she was pretty confident that if she left where she was hiding in the three broomsticks, someone would find her. 

“Astoria?” It was Blaise Zabini, Astoria marveled at how he was able to recognize her from across the bar where she was curled up in a booth, purposefully trying to hide from everyone else. He was accompanied by Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle. 

Blaise Zabini was in Draco’s year and although Astoria would never admit it had been her first crush, realized and extuinguished within a couple months her spring tear. Nonetheless she’d gotten good at peaking glances from him across the Slytherin table, knew that he ate the crusts of his toast before eating the middle and that he didn’t like pumpkin juice. Why she’d stored that information away she didn’t know but it was about all the ogling the third year could manage at the fifth year. 

“Hello,” Astoria said as politely as she could muster. 

“I don’t believe it,” He laughed shortly, doing a one up, Astoria tried to imagine what he was seeing, if her cloak had been singed by a spell perhaps. Her appearance was surely unruly, but unruly enough to note? “I didn’t know you were allowed to leave your estate.” He quipped. 

“Only on special occasions.” Astoria mumbled, looking at her hands. 

“Well may we join you?” He asked and Astoria wanted to say no, there were too many things she couldn’t explain. Like why she’d come to Diagon Alley without a single knuckle. Or why she was unlikely to go home that night. But she also couldn’t explain why she didn’t want them to join. 

“Sure,” Astoria mumbled, sliding in to give Zabini room to sit next to her. Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, still silent, slid in across from her. 

“Heard Draco’s been giving you potions lessons.” Zabini said and Astoria shrugged noncomittaly. 

“Does he know you’re here all alone?” Vincent Crabbe was the first one of Draco’s goons to speak up. Astoria’s set her jaw at this. 

“Excuse me?” Astoria asked. 

“I just wonder what he’d do if we told him his pupil was just sitting all alone in the three broomsticks so late at night.” Vincent Crabbe said smarmily, the smile that punctuated the statement made Astoria blanche. There weren’t many occasions in which Astoria got the impression that Vincent Crabbe had anything at all in the watermelon sized head of his, but at this moment she couldn’t help but feel like maybe everyone at this table was in on some big secret. 

“I can’t imagine he’d care. I think he might have more important things to worry about tonight.” Astoria said pointedly, feeling a little off put by the lack of realization in any of their faces. 

“Want to test that theory out?” Blaise raised his eyebrow and retrieved his wand from his cloak. 

“It’s fine. I’ll leave.” Astoria declared sharply, positioning herself to slide out of the booth. Zabini didn’t move, continuing to block Astoria in. 

“Oh come on, don’t you want to see what Draco will do?” Zabini grinned. 

“No. I don’t care, now if you don’t mind,” Astoria grated out pointedly looking at Zabini blocking her in the booth. “I’ll punch you; I swear on merlin.” Astoria couldn’t help but snap. Zabini chuckled, but nonetheless slid out of the booth. 

Astoria stomped to the bathroom, her anger searing. She laid out her options, she could try to sleep on the streets of Diagon Alley tonight, see if she could get access into her families Gringotts vault and then maybe stay at the Three Broomsticks, was she old enough to do either? Was she desperate enough to try? Astoria had never slept outside before, although she realized, she didn’t necessarily need to sleep, she could just wonder around, maybe go to a park something. 

Astoria suddenly had the dawning realization, that at the other side of the Three Broomsticks was muggle London. Gwen lived in Muggle London, and although Astoria wasn’t sure she’d be home it was certainly her best option at the moment, vaguely aware that her mother would probably be told if she tried to go into the Gringotts Vault or attempted to stay at the Three Broomsticks. 

In Astoria’s cloak pocket there was still the tube with her Dolohov’s memory of her mother. The young witch felt the flask delicately, it was cold but light against her chest. At some point before she went home she’d have to find someone willing to let her use their pensieve, unlikely since the only people she knew who had one were her parents, Draco’s parents, Dumbledore and the Longbottoms, none of whom would be particularly keen on Astoria flooing into their living room at the moment. 

Maybe she could rob Gringotts and buy her own, she thought cynically. 

She quickly looked up and down at her Christmas gift cloak, there was no noticeable singing, though she did realize with a panged heart that it was quite dirty. Knockturn Alley was very disgusting she realized, noting the back of her cloak was dirty from getting pressed against the walls, that the bottom of her cloak must’ve swept up dust that hadn’t been cleaned in decades. 

Gwen’s house first. Astoria decided, completely unaware of how to get there, but determined that she could sort of find her own way. Astoria pushed open the door of the loo back into the Three Broomsticks to find Draco Malfoy, looking quite exhausted standing there with his arms crossed. 

“Astoria.” 

“Merlin, why does everyone always say my name like that.” Astoria snapped, turning on her heel towards the exit of the Three Broomsticks. 

“Pardon?” Draco sneered, clearly not holding a lot of patience himself either. 

“I’m not a child! Why does everyone always patronize me like one!” Astoria screeched walking straight out of the Three Broomsticks, shocked that Draco was just following her. 

“You act like one!” Draco must’ve been in a fighting mood. 

“Fuck you!” They were in Muggle London now and the curse had attracted some onlookers. 

“Right. So, what’s the plan right now?” Draco sneered, matching Astoria’s hurried pace easily with his long legs. 

“You’re going to go home, and I’m going to Gwen’s.” Astoria stated calmly. 

“Your mudblood friend?” Draco incredulously sneered. Astoria’s look was deadly. “Muggleborn.” Draco rolled his eyes. “So how are you getting there?” 

“Walking.” Astoria mumbled. 

“How far is it?” Draco asked crossing his arms. 

“Can’t be more than twenty minutes.” Astoria shrugged. 

“Then I’ll walk with you.” Draco sighed. This was a problem since Astoria actually had no idea how far away Gwen’s house was, or where it was, or even where she was right now. She was just walking somewhere, hoping to see something she recognized and then attempt to retrace steps. 

“Aren’t you tired from your evening?” Astoria taunted. “Don’t you need to sleep off all of your secret planning in Borgin and Burkes?” 

At this Draco’s hand formed a vice claw on Astoria’s upper arm, his fingernails digging harshly into her flesh. He yanked her arm and she was confident it’d leave a mark, even blood on her shirt, it stung painfully. 

He’d pulled her into a side street out of sight of the muggles milling about their lives. 

“I just want to make something very clear to you.” Draco’s voice was so harsh and hateful Astoria was confident that he had it in him to kill her right now. “Right now, you’re a nuisance to Dolohov and some Death Eaters, holding blood traitor ideals and showing up in all the wrong places at the wrong times. But you are very close to becoming something worth getting rid of.” Draco snapped and Astoria felt her eyes well up with tears. 

“Get off me!” Astoria shrieked, tears falling from her eyes so fast she wondered where they even came from, if they’d been building all day and she’d just been too distraught to notice. Draco stepped off and took a deep breath, he evaluated the situation, Astoria’s puffy and tearful face. She looked distraught. “I think my mother killed someone.” Astoria sobbed quietly. “I can’t go home.” She added roughly wiping her eyes. 

Draco stared at the young witch blankly. Astoria’s trembling fingers lifted the flask with Dolohov’s memory out of the pocket of her cloak. 

“Dolohov gave me his memory of it-so I can-I can watch it.” Astoria was stuttering over her words and Draco looked shocked at the young witch, purposefully blank like it was all he could beside have a real emotional breakdown. 

“Don’t watch it.” Draco said quietly. 

“I have to. I have to know my mother is a murderer.” Astoria pushed. 

“She is. She killed your celesta teacher.” Draco confirmed in the random muggle alley in London with next to no emotion or gravity in his tone. Astoria stared at him blankly, unable to process his words. “The Dark Lord didn’t trust her, he told her the only way he would trust her was to kill Mr. Warble. Mr. Warble was already there for being a mud-muggleborn, he was going to die anyway, and if your mother didn’t kill him she would’ve been killed herself.” Draco explained matter of factly. 

“Why-why?” Astoria couldn’t speak properly. 

“It was the night of my father’s trial, she was worried about my mother and I, so she followed us, the Dark Lord was there. She wouldn’t leave so- so- that’s what he made her do.” Draco mumbled and Astoria looked at him blankly. 

“So, you, you saw it?” Astoria mumbled, feeling like she was floating in outer-space. Nothing made sense. 

“Yes.” 

“Did she torture him? Make his brain leak out of his ears?” 

“No, I think that was someone else, she just, um she killed him with the killing curse.” 

Daphne and Astoria had seen the green flash from the Malfoy’s Manor that night. 

Draco’s fingers wrapped around Astoria’s taking the flask out of her hands. Astoria couldn’t tell if she meant to let him take it or if she was just unable to garner the warewithall to stop him from taking it. She found herself unable to look at Draco, and instead looking at the brick wall on the opposite side of the alleyway, it had been painted white once and then over again with black, which she could tell from the flaking pieces. 

“Astoria,” Draco delicately propositioned, looking for some sort of acknowledgement of what she planned on doing next, or at least an explanation of how she was feeling. Astoria had no idea the answer to either of those things and instead found herself only able to express a growing irritation with everyone’s habit of speaking to her like that.

“Don’t say my name like that,” Astoria snapped. 

“C’mon we can’t just sit in this alley forever.” Draco walked up to her and reached for Astoria’s arm, the young pureblood witch moved viscously away from his reach. 

“Merlin, we’ve been here for a minute and you just told me my mother is a murderer.” Astoria surprised herself with her calmness, she didn’t know why but her insides felt like they were falling out and she was surprised her outsides didn’t give off the same impression. 

“Alright, here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to go back to Diagon Alley, I’m going to exchange some money for muggle money and then I’m going to get us a taxi to Gwen’s house where I’ll drop you off, and then aparate home. Fine?” Draco was watching Astoria closely who in turn was taking an embarrassingly long time to understand Draco’s plan. Why was Draco doing this? Why was he on her side? Why was he willing to get her to Gwen’s house? What’s a taxi? 

“Why do you care so much?” Astoria didn’t know why she decided this was the time or the place to pick a bone, but she couldn’t just accept Draco’s help without understanding what sort of responsibilities or debt came with it. “Why are you being so nice?” Astoria tacked on. 

Astoria could tell as soon as she asked that Draco couldn’t answer the question. She saw his eyes flash with the struggle of coming up with an explanation that would make sense. 

“Never mind.” Astoria breathed, ready for this nightmare of a day to be over. “I don’t know Gwen’s address anyway.” Astoria frustratedly pushed her hair out of her face. Why did it have to be like this? Why did this have to happen to her? Why couldn’t her family just be a normal happy family? 

“Bloody Hell Astoria, how were you planning to get to her house then?” Draco demanded. 

“I dunno, I just figured I’d walk around until I recognized something.” Astoria mumbled, knowing as it came out of her mouth that it had been a terrible plan. 

“Okay, then, erm, I’ll guess you’ll have to owl her? You can stay at the Three Broomsticks tonight I suppose.” Draco sighed, running a hand through his platinum blonde hair. Astoria looked up at him and took a deep breath. 

“I don’t have any money.” Astoria admitted. 

“That’s fine.” Draco waved it off. 

Less than an hour later Astoria found herself on a four poster bed with an absolutely terribly patterned bed spread at the three broomsticks. Draco was standing awkwardly against a wall, looking over the room, looking over Astoria and trying to figure out what to think or do about it all. 

“Thank you, for everything, thank you.” Astoria mumbled and Draco solemnly nodded. 

“Astoria,” Draco started solemnly, “Your mother had no choice. You have to understand that.” Draco mumbled. 

“Everyone always has a choice.” Astoria huffed and if Astoria had been looking at Draco or thinking about anything else besides the current situation between her and her mother she would’ve noticed the significant paling of Draco’s face. 

But, at the present moment all Astoria could think about was her mother mustering the hate to kill a person with magic and doing it for no good reason in Astoria’s mind. Her mother, who was supposed to be tolerant and garden all day, who wasn’t a proper pureblood in the way she was supposed to be. Her mother who didn’t politically support muggleborn registration through donations or clubs or protesting. Didn’t write opinion pieces on the matter or allow that type of talk at her dinner parties. Her mother was supposed to be better, was supposed to be a kind soft hearted woman who couldn’t even bare to use pesticides on her plants because those bugs deserved a meal just as much as she deserved her garden. 

Her mother who’d tried to raise Astoria in the same way, tolerant but polite. Allowing but not supporting, a kind woman, a good wife. Astoria blanched at the thought, a good wife, it’s what her mother surely wanted for her, the future was nearing and Astoria could tell with the sudden pressure after Daphne’s blunders to be better at just shutting her mouth and following what everyone else thoguht. To get better at being less outwardly tolerant and more inwardly tolerant, to be a better pureblood than her mother was, to have more friends, to be more social and well liked. 

But that wasn’t the promise, that wasn’t how it was supposed to be, Astoria couldn’t help but huff. Her mother had raised her with the impression that Astoria could be just like her, or at least just like the woman who she thought was her mother. That she could quietly hold her own opinions, that she could achieve what she wanted and that she wouldn’t have to follow the willies of a man. Clearly those were promises were all lies. 

Astoria’s mood soured at the thought, to be married off by a woman who killed her celesta teacher to a husband who’d probably think that was alright. No one else was holding up their ends of their bargains, those promises of taking potions lessons to be an Auror, the allowance of muggle friends, it was all going to be ripped away from her Astoria was sure. 

Astoria was done holding up her end of the bargain if everything she wanted was going to be taken away anyway. 

Finally come to the conclusion of what to do next Astoria looked up at Draco who she’d realized had seemingly been having a mental debate of his own, which had been interrupted by Astoria slowly approaching him. Astoria thought back to the kiss at the pool, the amazing feeling of Draco’s soft lips pushing against her own. She wanted to feel it again she realized, more than just some petty revenge to her mother or acting out, she wanted Draco. 

“Astoria,” Draco breathed with warning, walking back up against the wall as Astoria approached him. 

“Can I kiss you?” Astoria whispered, stopping less than a couple inches away from his chest, looking up at Draco with pleading eyes, her dark eyebrows pulled together in a way that always seemed to make Draco melt. 

“Depends why?” Draco’s voice was breathy, like he was struggling to control himself. 

“Everything right now is so terrible, I just want to forget it all and feel good, even if it’s just for a couple minutes.” Astoria told a truth, not necessarily the truth, but hopefully something that Draco would understand. 

Draco didn’t say anything back, he simply craned his neck and pressed his lips against hers. Astoria felt shocks of excitement or maybe nerves at the connection and pulled him closer. 

The kiss at first was delicate, soft lips plying against each other connecting, pulling away, kind movements without much force behind them, like Draco was simply testing the waters out. Slowly it crescendo-ed, Draco walked Astoria to the bed, letting her climb onto it. When was on top of her gravity helped, and also his ravaging hands, under her shirt, caressing her back on her thighs, pulling her legs closer. 

Astoria fumbled around, realizing she wanted his shirt off, realizing she wanted hers off. She liked the feeling of their skin touching, how warm and soft he was, but also how calloused and rough his fingers were. How he scratched at her skin and how he suddenly began nipping at her lip and kissing hard against her. 

Astoria nearly melted when Draco broke the kiss to suck at her neck, a little moan escaping her mouth before she could realize it. She shivered with the chills and felt warmth bloom in her lower stomach. During this he had unlatched her silk bralette and began cupping at her breast and tugging against the nipple with one hand, and possessively holding onto her waist with the other. 

When he came back up for a kiss his knee found it’s place between her legs and with guidance from the hand on her hip Astoria began grinding against Draco’s knee, the feeling was exquisite. Astoria could barely focus on the kiss anymore, instead finding her breath short and harsh while she focused on the immense pleasure of the act. 

Astoria clumsily fumbled past Draco’s navel to a hardness covered by his dress pants. 

“Astoria,” Draco breathed warningly. 

“I want to.” Astoria wined back, her voice breathless and not sounding like her. 

“What do you want?” Draco’s voice was strained, most likely due to Astoria palming him through his pants. 

“I want you inside me,” Astoria declared sharply and Draco seemed surprised by the proposition. 

“Astoria,” The tone held too many underyling questions and messages to pinpoint just one, Astoria decided. Sure it was warning, trepid, excited, unsure, Astoria decided to ignore it all together and simply went to attempting to undo Draco’s belt, button and zipper. Once successful Draco pushed it all down so he was completely naked underneath. 

Astoria refused to look at it, she kept her eyes trained on Draco’s while she reached down and touched it, it was surprising warm, and the skin was weirdly soft. It felt heavy in her hand, and as she moved her hands delicately up and down it she felt a small amount of something sticky and wet gathered at the top of it. Astoria bit her lip nervously. 

With a sudden newfound need to satisfy Astoria, Draco hurriedly undid her jeans and pulled them down, her underwear too. 

“Are you ready?” Draco whispered softly into Astoria’s ear and she nodded, she let go of Draco’s dick and instead let him guide it to her entrance. 

It hurt. Astoria was grateful that Draco had buried his head in the crook of her neck because when he first pushed himself in, she reflexively screwed her face up in pain. He pulled himself almost all the way out before pushing in again, all the way. The immediate pain subsided but he still felt a little too big and she had a sharp little pain every time he buried himself all the way to the hilt, like he was knocking against something. 

Astoria tried to relax and enjoy it, she knew it was supposed to feel good, or at least that’s what people said but it hurt, and she was not enjoying it. Draco was holding her so tightly, one hand digging into her hip where he was guiding himself in and out, and the other one against her back, where he was pressing her upwards so that their chests rubbed against each other. 

She heard his breathing get faster and harder until finally he pulled out incredibly fast, and she felt something warm and gooey shoot all over her lower stomach. 

“Fuck,” Draco breathed, “Fuck.” He reiterated. He finally pulled away and looked down at Astoria, whose big eyes were looking right back up at him. Draco felt deeply ashamed, aware that Astoria did not seem to have enjoyed it as much as he did. 

“Can I?” Draco asked, position himself to go down on her and Astoria suddenly just felt dirty and disgusting. She just wanted to shower. 

“No, it’s alright.” Astoria said lightly pushing him away. 

“Okay,” Draco said unsurely, staring at Astoria with such an intense gaze, watching her so closely she hated it. 

“I’m going to shower.” Astoria said abruptly getting up, Draco stood up too, and somehow ended up in her path, she hated the way he was looking at her, almost helplessy. 

“Do you want me to stay?” Draco asked, and Astoria hated how raw his voice sounded. 

“You don’t have to.” Astoria said firmly, turning on her heel and walking into the bathroom. 

She didn’t know what she expected she realized looking in the mirror. She expected to feel and look different despite knowing that it didn’t happen like that, she couldn’t tell a difference in Daphne afterwards and if neither of them told anyone else the world would be none the wiser to what transpired. 

At least now she’d be unmarriable.


	11. P.S., Bad Driving, and Take Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy!! Got some inspiration and some free time so I knocked it out. I'm sorry this story is moving so slowly, I have all these ideas for establishing character and relationships but then also these milestones for the plot and in my scattered brain they can't simultaneously occur apparently. Hopefully I get better at it!

Astoria hadn’t meant to, but she cried a little bit in the shower, she wasn’t really sure about what yet, when she finally stopped and took account of the day it really could’ve been a number of things. Astoria recounted each reason in her head and found it gave her a bizarre form of comfort to confront each one in an organized list format. 

First, she came to the conclusion that Dolohov could’ve killed her yesterday when she’d gone to eavesdrop, if he had been in just a slightly different mood, she could be sitting in a casket right now with lifeless closed eyes. Really her actions were incredibly stupid and the men that she was dealing with were volatile dangerous people who probably wouldn’t even blink at killing her, even if she was a pure blood. They were that insane and she had been that careless around them. That was thing number one that might’ve caused the tears. 

Secondly, her mother had killed her Celesta Teacher Mr. Warble. Mr. Warble who brought candy to every lesson as a reward for practicing but gave it to her even when she hadn’t. Who tried his best to be stern and assign hard and long music but was truly a sweat man deep down inside. He was dead now, she’d never see him ever again, and somehow worse, it was all her mother’s fault. Her mother, who had clearly been pretending to be someone who she wasn’t, was actually a cold-blooded killer. She’d Avada Kedavra-ed him. Draco had the memory in a flask in his cloak pocket and if Astoria decided to right now she could storm him, steal it, and watch the life leave her Celesta teachers eyes. 

Finally, Astoria had possibly just made one of the more stupid decisions of her life so far. Sure, having sex before marriage with Draco could end up panning out to nothing, if he kept his mouth shut and she did too, it’s not like anyone would ever find out when she was married away. But more likely someone would divulge the secret and then it would spread like wildfire throughout the entire school and she would be shamed. Hard. Become like her sister, a walking travesty and then neither her nor her sister would get married off to prestigious pureblood families and the Greengrass name would be tarnished before completely dying off. She’d singlehandedly made that decision and executed it in a matter of twenty minutes, because she was upset. 

Astoria added a p.s. to the list, perhaps less consequential but still bothering her, she’d also probably ruined any chance at friendship and also destroyed the budding romance Draco and her shared. She liked him, quite a bit, actually, but now she’d been so terrible to him he’d probably never speak to her again. Yes, the sex had hurt and not been pleasant, but he didn’t deserve to be walked out on and dismissed like that. Astoria knew that guys liked to play it tough, but she’d heard it from Clive that they still liked to be comforted and together after sex just as much as girls. 

And so, for one of those reasons, or maybe all, listing them hadn’t actually helped Astoria figure it out, Astoria cried in the shower. In the room Draco had paid for, so she wouldn’t have to go home to her mother who had killed her Celesta teacher, which she had figured out because she antagonized a death eater. Things were seriously fucked. 

Astoria dried off and wrapped a towel around her, too aware of the fact that she hadn’t packed any extra clothes or anything. She was shocked to see Draco still in the bedroom, sitting on the bed fiddling with his wand, his pants back on but not his shirt. He abruptly looked up at Astoria and noticed the puffy red eyes. 

“Astoria,” He whispered, his voice hurt and broken, the guilt the young witch felt was hard and painful. She furiously rubbed at her eyes, confident that was the source for Draco’s hurt. 

“Draco why are you still here?” Astoria asked. 

“I figured you’d need money to owl Gwen.” Draco mumbled and Astoria’s heart panged at the thoughtfulness. 

“Right.” She said nodding. “I’m not crying because of the sex, I’m crying because of my mom, and the deatheaters today and just how messed up everything is,” Astoria spewed, feeling incredibly guilty. 

“We shouldn’t have had sex.” Draco admitted quietly. 

“Yeah,” Astoria agreed, equally timid. 

“Right, well write your letter to Gwen and then we can stop by the front desk on my way out.” Draco mumbled awkwardly and Astoria set out to quickly scribbling a letter to Gwen. She was vague and purposefully didn’t include that her mother was a murderer, instead deciding to phrase it as “We had a massive blowout”, she asked for her address and then folded the paper up, not even bothering to use an envelope. She changed back into her dirty clothes quickly, not allowing herself to watch Draco button up his shirt, in manor she’s sure she would’ve found delicious. 

While walking down the halls of the three broomsticks late at night Draco protectively put his arm around Astoria’s waist and she almost wished he wouldn’t. The contact was so pure, so shielding it almost made her want to stop him and beg him to stay the night, but that would make what they’d just done mean something way different than what she needed it to mean. 

Draco did all the talking at the front desk, Astoria simply stood behind him and watched the attendant attach the note to a dark brown small owl. It flew right past Draco and Astoria out the window. 

“I’ll actually walk you back to your room.” Draco mumbled, “I always forget how uncivilized the crowd is here,” Astoria followed Draco’s gaze the bar where people were clearly drunk and acting quite rowdy. Draco’s hand found itself right back against Astoria’s waist wrapping around and effectively pressing her right up against him. 

In front of her door Draco turned to look down at her, his face a poorly masked attempt at impassive. Astoria bit her lip and looked up at him. 

“Astoria, I’m really sorry.” He whispered, and after a moment of deliberation he pulled her into a tight hug. Astoria pressed the side of her face against his chest and wrapped her arms around him, he was skinny but not too skinny and his body was hard and angular. It felt nice to be hugged like this, so tightly, against such a hard body. Draco rested his head on top of Astoria’s for a brief second before kissing her forehead and warmth spread all over Astoria’s body. “I’m sorry for what I caused and I’m sorry you have to deal with everything else.” He mumbled into her hair and Astoria couldn’t help but let out a little sniffle. The world really did feel against her. 

Draco gave her one last squeeze before letting go. He handed her some money to exchange for muggle money for tomorrow and then he was gone, in a blink of an eye he just apparated away and Astoria was left alone. 

She walked back into the room and looked at the four-poster bed where she’d lost her virginity and just sighed. Astoria had been alone all summer, to have no human interaction between the incredibly late hour of one, until whenever Gwen sent her an owl with her address, should’ve felt like nothing. Instead it felt like this massively scary and intimidating thing. Maybe it’s because she wasn’t home. 

She wasn’t sure if she ever really fell asleep, finding herself making constant trips to the bathroom to just stare in the mirror and watch herself cry. The closest thing she got to sleep was ended when she opened her eyes after some minutes unaccounted for at around nine to a tapping at the window. It was the owl from Gwen. 

“Don’t bother with a taxi” she had wrote, “I’m coming to pick you up, be there at 9:30.” 

Astoria had nothing to pack up so she simply made the bed, straightened out her clothes, put her wand in her pocket and walked down stairs. The Three Broomsticks looked quite quaint at this early in the morning, though she was pretty sure she saw a man passed out in a booth in the back. No one seemed to notice her leave and this made Astoria grateful, she wondered if the events of yesterday would just seem like an anomaly to people, not something to take interest in or gossip about. Either way she wouldn’t find out the direction it took until she returned to Hogwarts in a couple weeks. 

This time there was no driver, it was Gwen behind the wheel of a bright red mini coup, smiling deviously. Astoria slid into the passenger seat. 

“Wow, no bags?” Gwen said, looking over at Astoria. 

“Didn’t have time to pack,” Astoria said shortly. 

“Blimey, what’d you even fight about?” Gwen didn’t seem to catch Astoria’s avoidance of the topic. 

“The usual,” Astoria lied terribly looking out the window and Gwen frowned. 

Gwen was a terrible driver, she didn’t lightly press the gas pedal, every time a light turned green Astoria’s body slammed back into her chair as Gwen went from 0 to 40 kmph in a blink. She also was bad at looking before she merged lanes and Astoria felt like she was riding the carts in Gringotts, constantly getting whipped back and forth in her seat against the seat belt. The ride brought back warm memories of when Gwen rode a broom for the first time at Hogwarts, how determined she’d been to be good at it, and how scary it’d been to watch her from the ground. 

Astoria imagined it was a function of her personality, whatever quality made Gwen such a bad driver. Gwen liked to do things on a whim and probably as a result of her privilege, had always had the grace of people watching her and accommodating to her. Her driving was much the same, she moved and just assumed everyone else was watching and attentive enough to get out of her way. It wasn’t a selfish thing, Astoria realized, maybe a little self-absorbed, but not selfish. Astoria couldn’t pick out why, but she could never call Gwen selfish, it simply was wrong. 

They pulled down an alley and parked in a garage behind the house, meaning they entered the large townhome from the back door. Gwen led Astoria to the kitchen where her muggle parents sat and ate. 

“Mum, Dad, this is Astoria, my best friend from school.” Gwen announced, “She’s staying with us for the forseeable future, if that’s alright.” The casual tone in which Gwen addressed her parents was somewhat striking to Astoria. Her dad was dressed in a fancy business suit and the kindness and familiarity in which he observed his daughter and Astoria seemed to be mismatched. 

“It’s quite alright! Astoria, You can call me Hudson or Mr. Caron, your choice.” Something about the jolly tone Mr. Caron took made Astoria feel like he’d prefer Hudson, but she vowed to show him only the utmost respect. She was appalled that Gwen hadn’t even thought to ask her parents before bringing Astoria into their kitchen on a random weekday morning. 

“And call me Ceri, please. Would you like me to show you to a guest room? Do you have anything to unpack?” Gwen’s mother was alarmingly gorgeous, even as she skeptically eyed the empty-handed new guest. It was a sort of concerned skepticism Astoria realized, like the mother could sense that things were perhaps not well, and she was already trying to figure out what she could do. 

“No need, I’ll do it.” Gwen said offhandedly, grabbing two apples from the bowl of fruit by the giant two door fridge. 

“Which one?” Mrs. Caron asked. 

“The yellow one.” Gwen said after a giant bite of apple. 

“Alright, well we’re both going to head out in a couple minutes for work. We’ll see you girls tonight for dinner,” Mrs. Caron said warmly, standing up and stacking the breakfast plates on their kitchen island. 

“Wait, before you go, what is for dinner?” Gwen said with a devilish smile that Astoria knew meant Gwen already had something in mind. 

“We were thinking about ordering-in, why, what do you want?” Mr. Caron raised his eyebrows, 

“Well, I have been craving Yauatcha all week long.” Gwen dramatically proclaimed, and Astoria caught Mr. Caron’s bemused expression. 

“Sounds good to me, dear?” Mr. Caron looked to Mrs. Caron who turned around, looking just like Gwen with her charmed smile. 

“Well, I wouldn’t want to get in the way of daughter’s cravings.” Mrs. Caron shrugged, her tone a teasing overdramatic. 

“Decided then, I’ll call and order the usual when you guys get home!” Gwen exclaimed giddily before pulling Astoria up the stairs. Gwen handed Astoria the second apple without a word and showed her to the yellow room. 

“Welcome to your room,” Gwen said with giant flourishing movements. The room was simply and cute, big windows that faced the street, light yellow walls, small dark portraits, a wardrobe, a bed. It was a perfect guest room. It was also right next to Gwen’s room. 

“Now, you’re totally welcome to anything in my closet, anything in our fridge, mi casa es tu casa, as they say. Seriously, I mean it.” Gwen pointed at Astoria. “I’m thinking I should show you my favorite movie, actually, depending on how long you’re going to be here I think we should watch all the classics.” Gwen rambled and Astoria appreciated it. It was nice how good Gwen was at taking control of situations sometimes, it allowed Astoria to retreat into herself and just mindlessly go with the flow. With Gwen there was rarely ever any watching of words, hiding of emotions or anything of the sort. When Gwen was upset, she cried, or complained, or went on long angry rants, in a weird way this made Astoria feel as if she could do the same. 

Astoria had realized it the first summer she went home, around Gwen she could be another person. Around Gwen, Astoria teased, she talked about her feelings and emotions, she related, she listened, sometimes around Gwen Astoria felt like a spring fueled by melting snow, moving fast, unstoppable and constant. Nothing was controlled or inhibited, she was just simply raw all the time. 

Astoria had only noticed this wasn’t her natural form when she returned home and realized she had no one to cry about a dead frog too. No one to huff and puff about how annoying Daphne was being, she was completely alone with no one to relate to. 

It’s why from the moment Astoria entered Gwen’s house she tried to think of a way to tell Gwen about the fight with her mom without making Gwen afraid of her mom. Part of Astoria felt like as much as her mom had murdered, she wasn’t necessarily a murderer. She didn’t deserve everything that came along with being a murderer, though Astoria reckoned she definitely deserved some of it. Mrs. Greengrass was a liar, a fake, and had betrayed her daughter, but she wasn’t Dolohov or Mr. Malfoy or Bellatrix Lestrange. They were murderers, Astoria’s mother had simply killed an already dying man. 

Also, Astoria thought, she didn’t want Gwen to be scared. Things were clearly devolving in the wizarding world and muggleborns hadn’t been in this much danger since the first wizarding war but Astoria didn’t want to alarm Gwen to that. It was probably selfish of her to feel that way, to want Gwen to feel happy and go back to Hogwarts but Astoria didn’t know what else to do. 

“Astoria?” Gwen asked, finally realizing that Astoria hadn’t been listening at all for the past couple minutes. 

“I’m sorry, I’m just really upset about my mother and I didn’t sleep well last night so I’m kind of out of it.” Astoria explained honestly. Gwen halfway frowned and pulled Astoria into a deep hug. 

“I’m so sorry.” Gwen mumbled empathetically. She rubbed Astoria’s back before pulling away. “Let’s watch I Know What You Did Last Summer and then we can start Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” Gwen planned warmly, somehow knowing that watching movies and TV would sufficiently entertain Astoria until she was ready to talk about why her she couldn’t go home. “ 

Astoria loved the Horror movie, and also loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Astoria enjoyed how beautiful and cool Buffy was while still being so fierce and dangerous. Buffy had clearly managed to have the best of both worlds. Plus there was something escapist about just sitting and watching other people struggle on the giant muggle television. Watching the muggles scream and hide from evil people who had to follow them on foot and had to be close enough to stab them to kill them. It felt almost like a manageable evil. Additionally, Astoria found herself empathizing with the young teens who accidentally hit the man in the rain that night, it wasn’t entirely their fault. Same with Buffy when she killed the vampires, sure they were sentient creatures but she really didn’t have a choice, she had to protect people, she had to defend herself. It was frequently the only way she could get her friends out of harms way. It was a necessity. 

They killed people but they weren’t murderers, Astoria decided. 

“Blimey, look at the time!” Gwen exclaimed, glancing down at her muggle watch. “I have to go order the takeout!” Astoria followed Gwen out of the muggle theater room and into the modern sleek kitchen where Gwen dug around for a menu. It was worn and things were circled in highlighter. “Do you know what you want?” Gwen asked shoving the menu to Astoria, who looked at the words lost. 

“I have no idea.” Astoria mumbled out. 

“That’s alright, I’ll order for you!” Gwen exclaimed, seeming giddy at the possibility. Astoria leaned against the counter and watched as Gwen animatedly spoke on the telephone. She chatted for what seemed like forever before finally hanging up, Astoria realized that she’d been so focused on the way Gwen spoke she’d no idea what Gwen really said. 

“Let’s go get changed into something comfy. It’s take-out night!” Gwen claimed excitedly dragging Astoria upstairs to change into soft cloth shorts and a tank top. Astoria stared at herself in the mirror, she looked, casual, comfy, and even a little frumpy. It seemed so muggle to wear these clothes, even if it was just around the house, they were so revealing. But also, she felt sort of free, the air on her legs and arms, the soft fabric was so loose it almost felt like she was naked. Astoria realized she loved the feeling. 

Gwen’s parents were wearing comfier clothes than when they’d left in the morning by the time everyone gathered around a large dining table with brown paper bags. 

“So, Astoria,” Mr. Caron asked with a trace of teasing in his voice “Gwen here has been trying to pull a fast one on us, I believe. She told us that A’s were not the highest grades you could get at Hogwarts and they simply meant “Acceptable”. She claims that O’s are the highest grades.” Mr. Caron’s skepticism was thinly veiling his amusement. 

“God dad.” Gwen’s irritation similarly veiled her own amusement. “I’ve told you like a dozen times, I’m not lying.” She huffed. 

“Yeah, yeah, I just have to make sure,” Mr. Caron waved his daughter off, looking expectantly at Astoria who awkwardly nodded. 

“It’s true,” Astoria said quietly. 

“Told you so.” Gwen huffed but her dad merely shrugged. 

“Astoria, both of your parents are Wizards aren’t they?” Mrs. Caron clearly knew the answer to that by Astoria still nodded confirmation, “What was it like growing up with wizards for parents?” She asked. 

“I mean to me, it’s pretty normal. I don’t really know any different.” Astoria was used to talking to adults but not really ones that acted this casual or had such trivial conversations. 

“Gwen told me that witches can use magic to wash dishes and do household chores!” Mrs. Caron chuckled, “That sounds quite nifty to me.” 

“Yeah, I mean my parents don’t really use magic to do stuff around the house, we have elves for that.” Astoria explained, opening up a little bit more. Mrs. Caron was a lot like Gwen, Astoria realized, she was open and friendly enough that it made you feel like it was alright to be open and friendly back. 

“Elves?” This time it was Mr. Caron who was intrigued. 

“They’re called house elves, I’ve told you guys about this, they make all the food at Hogwarts and they do our laundry for us.” Gwen explained animatedly. 

Mr. and Mrs. Caron seemed genuinely interested and intrigued about everything magical. Astoria could sense that whenever she mentioned great things witches and wizards could do, change the weather, make potions that heal bones, create birds out of thin air, Gwen’s parents beamed a little with pride. Astoria realized that while at home both of the parents seemed so transparent, Astoria could tell that when the subject heightening tensions of blood status was brought up both parents seemed openly concerned and upset, to the point where they actually voiced it. “I really wish people didn’t always feel the need to fixate on uncontrollable traits as status symbols, it’s the same way with us, and it makes me sick.” Mr. Caron had huffed, looking deeply into his daughter’s eyes with love and care. 

Astoria left dinner feeling stuffed, the food was so good she knew she’d dream about it for weeks to come, but also a little overwhelmed. 

“Sorry, they were just so excited to talk to you I think. I talk about you a lot, and Hogwarts. Thanks for entertaining them,” Gwen said, sounding a little embarrassed by her parents. 

“They’re really nice.” Astoria blurted out, knowing it sounded awkward, “They really love you.” She tacked on, even though it sounded even weirder. The two girls collapsed on Gwen’s bed and Gwen frowned. 

“Astoria, I know I don’t know your mom that well, and I don’t know what happened, but I know she loves you.” It was amazing how well Gwen knew Astoria, Astoria didn’t even have to say it was her mom that had caused the blow out, or it was her relationship with her parents that she’d been comparing to Gwen’s relationship with her parents. 

“I know it’s just, she’s not like your parents, and I think, I think she’s done something unforgivable.” Astoria mumbled. 

“Nothing is unforgivable when it comes to family.” Gwen said with the confidence only someone didn’t know pureblood families worked, could muster. 

“I don’t know. It’s like, she did this thing that, it was wrong, like really really wrong, and maybe she did it for right – well sort of right – reasons. But it represents more, like she let me believe that I could be this person and act certain ways and do what I wanted for the most part, but now, it’s like all of a sudden she’s taken it all back. And she’s done this thing that makes me realize she’s not at all who I thought she was, and now I don’t think I can be who I am anymore and I think I’m gonna lose everything, one way or the other.” Astoria was aware that she wasn’t making any sense, and that unless she actually told Gwen the truth there was no way Gwen could really help her. Astoria wanted to tell Gwen the truth, she really did, but she realized the toxic secrecy of her family had poisoned her friendship and there was nothing she could really say to explain. 

“Astoria,” Gwen trailed off, the sadness in her expression reaching levels of empathy. “Parents are not perfect, and they do what they can to protect you, but they can only behave the way they know how. Your mom is probably doing everything she can right now to love you in the best way she knows to.” Gwen sometimes was too wise. Astoria sat on the information and felt tears rise behind her eyes. 

“What if the best way she knows how is not enough.” Astoria mumbled through her tears, Gwen said nothing but simply sat up and rubbed Astoria’s back. 

Astoria woke up the next morning in Gwen’s bed, in the same position she’d cried herself to sleep in, with Gwen snoring softly next to her, spread out like a starfish. Astoria’s head hurt and her eyes were puffy and achey. She slid out of the bed and was startled to find that at some point in the night her Hogwarts trunk had appeared on Gwen’s bedroom floor. 

With a trembling hand Astoria opened her trunk and began sifting through it’s magically larger inside. 

“Is everything you need for school in it?” Gwen asked, Astoria hadn’t even realized that Gwen had woken, and like a deer in headlights Astoria flashed to look at her best friend. 

“Yeah, all my textbooks and my uniform.” The statement broke the floodgates and Astoria started crying again. 

“Oh, Astoria.” Gwen climbed out of bed and hugged her best friend fiercely.


	12. Vampire Slayers, French Cousins, and Fights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this is so long! And two days in a row but honestly it sort of wrote itself! Astoria is finally back at Hogwarts!!

At the end of three weeks Astoria had a good idea of all the things she liked better about Muggles than wizards. 

1\. She liked the clothes better, whereas in the Wizarding World you were almost always bogged down in layers, frills and had to dress with appropriateness above comfort or figure, in the muggle world Astoria was permitted to wear almost anything she wanted. She got to choose clothes based on what looked the best on her, or what felt the most comfortable. She deeply enjoyed wearing Gwen’s flare pants and cropped peasant tops with her high heeled espadrilles. It made Astoria feel truly gorgeous when her and Gwen would go out to restaurants or shopping or sight see. She liked the gaze of people who she didn’t know appraising her style and looks in a way that felt like artistic critique as opposed to how wizards viewed clothes as statements of wealth. Just as much she enjoyed wearing clothes that were simply soft and free as her and Gwen wasted days just watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer or horror movies. 

2\. Astoria enjoyed the anonymity of the muggle world, there were too many muggles to keep track of each other so save for the super famous people (as Astoria learned) most muggles didn’t know each other. Her and Gwen could be as mischievous as they wanted, they could pretend to take on different personalities, or even simply follow people around in the street and no one was the wiser. Anything they did in public far from Gwen’s home was unpunishable, it’d never make it back to Gwen’s parents or friends, and people generally didn’t seem to mind. In Diagon Alley at any given time Astoria distantly knew more than half the people there, and those people distantly knew Astoria as well, there were always eyes and judgement following her, but in the Muggle world, she was unjudged. There was a freedom in this that Astoria couldn’t understate. 

3\. This anonymity lent itself to Gwen’s friends from home as well. Whenever they’d go prowling around the streets of London late at night, attempting to get into clubs or sneaking into each other’s house parties it always had the air of indestructibility. Like nothing could happen to them, it was a weight lifted off Astoria’s shoulders, the feeling that none of her actions were reflecting on her parents or herself, possibly forever ruining her character. She was allowed to just have fun and be in the moment and it didn’t mean anything, and for that Astoria felt grateful. 

4\. The food. It was fun to go to restaurants with just Gwen, fun to go to them with Gwen’s friends, and it was fun to get takeout. The food was so different and was not always good, but it was exciting to try new things and to discover that muggle fries from sketchy stores with horrible fluorescent lights tasted like heaven and that seafood in cold soup made her gag. 

5\. Astoria liked that she never felt alone, or bored or stuck in one place, she’d never realized before how lonely her imprisonment at the Greengrass Estate felt until she discovered Gwen’s existence. Gwen came and went as she pleased, she hung out with friends whom she liked for their character (or their access to parties, alcohol, and cigs), and didn’t when she didn’t feel like being around them. There was very little obligation for Gwen, accept dinner at night with her parents, who asked her what she did that day, not to judge it but just to understand their daughter. Her parents talked about things they had opinions on, and listened to Gwen’s. They talked about their feelings to her, expressed that they wished she’d send more letters home while she was at school because they missed her. They told her that they liked her friend Sarah who always made sure to say hi to them when she was over and they thought Harold was a prat (an opinion Gwen had secretly told Astoria that she agreed with, though she’d never admit it to her parents). Gwen’s parents told her about their work, their coworkers and the projects they cared about. They yelled and complained about politics, sometimes disagreeing in a way that just seemed like a disagreement of opinion and not identity. 

6\. Astoria would miss the way she could forget herself when she was drunk, or in large crowds, or watching a muggle TV show. 

7\. She’d miss feeling like an adult, like she was in charge of things and responsible for herself, though not completely. Sometimes she did wish for her mother when she found herself lost on the streets of muggle London late at night without a cell and barely enough for a cab ride home to an address she could rarely remember. Or when she’d wake up after nightmares of her mother killing people, their brains dripping out of their ears, she’d want her mother. 

8\. The music. Gwen liked pop music, which lent itself to a crazy type of dancing, one with flailing limbs and jumping up and down. It made Astoria’s heart race and her body sweat a little bit but it also felt good. The music, the dancing, it not only energized Astoria but it made Astoria forget, and then it tired her out in a way that made it easier to sleep at night.

The three weeks passed by so quickly Astoria felt like she’d simply blinked and Gwen’s parents were driving them to Kings Crossing, but at the same time, when she looked back she felt like she’d lived an entire teenage lifetime in another life as another person. One who she liked so much more, one who was free and happy and Astoria found herself panicking a little bit at the person who she’d be forced to become again when she’d step on the Hogwarts Express. 

“Astoria, you have to make sure Gwen writes us every week. Last February she didn’t write us once and we weren’t entirely positive she was still alive.” Gwen’s mom Mrs. Caron, who perpetually insisited to be called Ceri, though Astoria would never, begged Astoria. 

“I’ll try, but it’s hard to tell Gwen what to do.” Astoria teased warmly. To Gwen’s chagrin, her parents and Astoria had bonded over lightly teasing Gwen, which to her strong character Gwen never took to heart. She was good at rolling her eyes and simply letting it slide off. 

“Don’t we know it.” Gwen’s mother sighed. “Now, don’t forget, always bring an umbrella as well as a raincoat when it’s raining out, and it’s never a bad idea to dress in layers as well. You never know when the weather decides to have a mind of its own. Also, never put homework off, and only ask for extensions when you absolutely need them, it’s impossible to catch up on work. Oh! And anytime a boy makes you feel bad about yourself or insecure, remember, most men can barely dress themselves and therefore have absolutely no power over you.” Mr. Caron chuckled at his wive’s patchwork of advice. 

“Dear,” Gwen’s father mumbled bemused. 

“I’ll never forget mum,” Gwen said with a sarcastic seriousness, dramatically putting her hand over her chest as if she was a cub scout swearing. 

“Oh shut it.” Mrs. Caron huffed, not actually embarrassed. 

Gwen’s father parked their expensive Land Rover outside Kings Crossing. Astoria noted that Gwen’s parents didn’t come to Platform 10 ¾ and instead bid their goodbyes in the parking lot. Gwen’s parents blubbered their goodbyes lovingly to their daughter, telling them how much they’d miss her and the things they’d do in her absence, get take out and think of her, watch endless hours of buffy the vampire slayer and think of her, miss the empty cartons of orange juice she’d always put back in the fridge. It made Astoria’s chest ache. When they finished fussing over Gwen they looked to Astoria and a tear slipped out of Mrs. Caron’s eye. 

“Dear, you are always welcome at our house, please come for Christmas, and boxing day, and new years. I mean it, you’re like a daughter to us.” Mrs. Caron cried and hugged Astoria fiercely. As much as Astoria had always longed for this maternal love and affection, actually receiving it made her feel sort of overwhelmed and awkward. 

“Thank you so much Mrs. Caron.” Astoria mumbled. 

“Maybe write us as well, it’d be nice to hear about how you’re doing.” Mr. Caron added warmly, giving Astoria a good hug before nodding at both the girls. 

“Stay safe!” Mrs. Caron called out as the girls wheeled their trunks into the station, waving. 

“Merlin, I am so sorry, they can get so emotional it’s so embarrassing.” Gwen rambled. 

“It’s sweet,” Astoria said. 

“Yeah, and embarrassing, my dad cries like a twelve year old girl.” Gwen laughed and Astoria laughed. They ran through the wall and entered the busy platform and reality struck Astoria like an iron. 

She hadn’t even realized she was searching but she immediately located Daphne who was standing next to Draco and Mrs. Malfoy, their mother nowhere in sight. This wasn’t surprising, she hadn’t come to the platform since their dad got ill. Draco was the first to see Astoria, he offered a sort of weird smile and then Daphne saw her and stormed over. 

“Daphne’s incoming. Run.” Astoria whispered to Gwen, who she was hoping would know the get out of the way, sure enough Gwen disappeared onto the train before Daphne could reach Astoria. 

“Muggle clothes? Are you insane?” Daphne snapped and Astoria winced. “We told everyone you were staying at a distant cousin’s home in France! What are you thinking? You might as well wear a label that says, “blood traitor!”” Daphne was angry and Astoria felt reality crash in. 

“So, I’m not disowned?” Astoria clarified. 

“What?” Daphne sneered. 

“If you lied about where I’ve been, that means mother still cares what people think of me, and that I’m not disowned?” Astoria asked quietly, Daphnes eye’s flashed as she caught someone looking at the sisters. 

“No of course not. C’mon let’s get in the train so you can change.” Daphne commanded and Astoria followed her into a compartment and quickly changed into her wizarding robes. 

“Draco was there when our mother…..” Astoria trailed off unable to finish the sentence. “He told me what happened.” She added quietly. 

“Did you watch the memory?” Daphne asked, her tone guarded. 

“No, Draco took it,” Astoria sighed. 

“Good.” Daphne huffed pushing hair back. 

“Is Mother mad at me?” Astoria asked, her lip trembling as she struggled to not cry. She carefully pulled her sweater and skirt on as Daphne quietly thought about the answer. 

“A little. Mostly because she’s worried, I think.” Daphne answered softly. 

“Does she know I know?” Astoria sniffled. 

“Yeah, I told her.” Daphne’s guard was rising again and Astoria could hear it in the coldness of her voice. 

“Is she sorry for it?” Astoria looked up at Daphne with big watery eyes, fully dressed in her robes. Daphne regarded her little sister with heartbreak she knew she couldn’t show, Astoria looked so small and vulnerable standing in the train car looking up at her. 

Daphne had missed her dreadfully while she was gone, though she’d never admit it to anyone. They had interacted only a little bit before Astoria left but it didn’t mean that Daphne didn’t see little bits of her and experience her aftermath throughout the estate. Like how she always left the study an absolute mess, how the house elves always knew to have a cupboard full of candy for her, the sound of her cooing to Bertie, her owl every time he did anything. The way the whole house shook sometimes when she took the stares at such a velocity, you’d think she was an oaf. 

“Astoria.” Daphne chided instead of answering her question and Astoria’s anger flared before she got it under control. Astoria had gotten out of practice pushing down her emotions, not that she was ever particularly good at it, since staying with Gwen. 

“See you at school I guess,” Astoria huffed before pushing past Gwen and out of the train car to try and find Gwen and Clive. 

Gwen, Clive, Astoria and occasionally Ellery, a half-blood who was Clive’s best guy friend in Slytherin usually stuck to a compartment instead of sitting in the train car where most of the other Slytherins sat. This was because since the first year, when Astoria spotted Gwen reading her absolute favorite wizarding novel, The Flap of the Cape, an intriguing story of a detective witch attempting to figure out who murdered her sister, Astoria barged in a striked up a conversation. Gwen had chosen the book to try and learn more about wizarding culture and Astoria, whose mother had never really embraced the whole pureblood ideology thing, was excited to meet and muggleborns and happy to explain all things wizard to the girl. 

Clive thought they were the friendliest people he could see so he sat with them. Upon seeing Astoria, a pureblood, mingling with people who Ellery was sure were muggleborns, he felt comfortable taking advantage of the opportunity to introduce himself to the girl miles above his station. It was Astoria who convinced them Slytherin was the best house and Astoria who became fast friends with the two muggleborns and halfblood on that train ride to Hogwarts. 

Astoria was glad to see her three friends casually draped across the seats of the train car. Astoria slid the door open and levitated her trunk above the seats.” 

“Astoria!” Clive exclaimed pulling her into a tight hug. “Gwen was just telling me about how you stayed at hers the past couple of weeks! I can’t believe you didn’t visit!” 

“I’m so sorry, it was crazy. Gwen is crazy.” Astoria laughed. 

“Am not!” Gwen gleefully defended herself. 

“Three weeks in her life and I think I’ve aged a decade.“ Astoria dramatically sighed. Clive let go of her and she turned to Ellery who was smiling softly at Astoria. 

“Hey Ellery, how was your summer?” Astoria asked, sometimes she felt bad. Ellery was frequently the odd one out, he got along a lot better with the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs and she was honestly pretty sure he’d only started out in their train compartment for old time’s sake and would soon find an excuse to leave and hang out with other people and houses like he did last year. 

“Pretty good, I heard yours was pretty eventful,” He smiled, it occurred to Astoria then that now Ellery probably knew that Astoria hadn’t been staying at a cousin’s home, but it was impossible to help. It’s not like she’d had the chance to tell Gwen to not tell anyone. “Didn’t realize Gwen was a French cousin.” He quipped, cementing he knew her secret. Astoria winced. 

“Mind keeping that between us?” Astoria sighed, she knew that Gwen was probably upset in the corner but Astoria also knew that Gwen would understand. 

“Of course,” Ellery smiled and Astoria nodded thankfully. 

“So, what’d your sister say?” Gwen asked, the bitterness evident in her tone. 

“Just that I’m not disowned and that I have to tell everyone I was at a cousin’s house in France.” Astoria huffed. 

“So, that’s good news I guess.” Clive sighed and Gwen scoffed. 

“Gwen, I’m really sorry, it’s just that, it’s safer this way for everyone. You-know-who is closer and more powerful than you think.” Astoria sighed. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ellery snapped looking at Astoria suspiciously, the young witch winced. 

“It means what I said. We all need to be more careful.” Astoria said tightly. 

“You don’t, you’re a pureblood.” Gwen huffed. 

“I’m a blood traitor.” Astoria said the words softly like they were cotton balls in her mouth, foreign and odd to say. 

“Are you? I thought you stayed at a cousin’s house in France.” Gwen fired back. 

“You know, I promised Derek I’d show him the pictures from my vacation so I’m gonna head out.” Ellery bailed. As soon as the boy left Astoria took a deep breath and looked at Gwen who was reeling from hurt. Deep down, Astoria knew that Gwen had a right to feel like that but at the moment she couldn’t muster the empathy to understand it and instead felt aggravated that Gwen couldn’t just understand where Astoria was coming from. 

“You’re not being fair to me.” Astoria stated cooly, thinking it was the mature thing to say. 

“Well news flash, you’re not being kind to me either.” Gwen had defaulted to condescension. 

“Astoria, Gwen” Clive spoke in the chiding tone that Astoria hated, and both girls snapped their focus and anger to him. “As the neutral party, let me just say it’s mean that Astoria is denying staying with you-“ Astoria’s mouth opened in what she thought was blatant favoritism. “But it’s also not really worth it for her further aggravate her family by telling the truth.” Astoria closed her mouth, but Gwen set her jaw. “C’mon guys, let’s not fight, please.” Clive pleaded and Astoria saw Gwen’s walls break down. Astoria’s did in turn. 

“I’m sorry.” Astoria apologized. 

“Me too.” Gwen sighed, but Astoria could tell there was a lingering feeling that Gwen was pushing down. Astoria hoped it was the kind of feeling that when pushed down went away instead of festering and growing. 

After some awkward moments the trip was saved by the sweets lady, and Gwen pulling out a photo album she had secretly made without Astoria knowing. 

“Okay so, it’s kind of a gift to all of us,” Gwen said biting her lip, “But I got all the photos of us developed and I put it in this album. She opened the first page. “This is from when you guys came to visit me,” Gwen said, showing photos of them in Gwen’s kitchen and them at the party. Astoria didn’t even have a chance to prepare herself for when Gwen flipped the page to even more snaps of them at the party and sure enough there were pictures of Astoria and Jackson, Gwen’s neighbor, all over each other at a party. Even one where they were kissing on the dance floor, something Astoria didn’t even remember happening. 

“Oh my god, Gwen!” Astoria scrambled but her best friend just giggled. 

“Come on, it’s kind of hot. Plus, I had a rule, every photo taken ends up in the book.” Gwen shrugged and Astoria looked flabbergasted. 

“This is from our photo shoot,” Gwen said, and Astoria’s eyes wandered over the page and her heart warmed. They looked so happy and like they were having so much fun, it perfectly captured how Astoria felt when she was with them.

When Gwen flipped the page both her and Clive blushed at the photos of them nearly kissing and Astoria looked at them guiltily. Part of her didn’t want them to get closer and leave her out as a third wheel but she also thought they’d kind of be perfect together. 

Next were photos of the concert, then ones from the month Astoria stayed at Gwen’s. Pictures of them partying, eating at restaurants, at Big Ben and the Eye. A picture of Astoria in front of Sunflowers by Vincent Van Gogh at the National Gallery. Goofy Selfies from Astoria and Gwen throughout the Gwen’s house, including one mirror selfie where they were wearing lingerie. Clive blushed. 

“Wow, we really do look hot.” Gwen said not even a little bit bashful. Astoria was so embarrassed she couldn’t speak. 

It felt easy, hanging out with Gwen and Clive. Fooling around with jinxes and teasing, Astoria felt like a first year again, not as old and independent as she did when spending time with Gwen in London and not as burdened and boxed up as she felt at home. For a brief minute Astoria wondered what a fifteen-year-old was supposed to feel like? Was she supposed to feel like this? Was she being cheated out of this childhood when she was at home? Had she beaten it when she was with Gwen? It puzzled her. 

The concern only lasted a moment because the train had arrived, they were at Hogwarts. This year all the trunks got searched by Aurors. Astoria recognized one of them to be Nymphadora Tonks, she searched Gwen’s trunks. She was a blood traitor who’d been disowned by her entire family. Astoria scrutinized her from a distance, she didn’t seem that naïve or friendly or disillusioned like blood traitors usually were painted as. She seemed to be just like most other purebloods, a little stiff, a little emotionally unhinged, and an Auror, Astoria’s dream job.

Nymphadora Tonks flipped through Gwens photo album and Astoria set her jaw anxiously, Gwen blushed. 

“Better keep this to yourself, could be awfully damaging in the wrong hands.” Nymphadora Tonks threw the book in the trunk and nodded Gwen on. Astoria could feel her gaze like hot irons as Astoria stepped up to have her trunk searched. Astoria was positive the Auror had seen the picture of Astoria kissing the muggle boy, it was unmistakably her and unmistakably a muggle. Plus, the look Nymphadora Tonks was giving her was all too knowing and Astoria felt her anxiety spike, she would have to tell Gwen to burn the book before anyone else might accidentally get their hands on it. 

Somehow Astoria made it to the carriages without having a full-on breakdown and she vowed to talk to Gwen about it in private. It was one thing to openly hang out with muggleborns, but it was a completely different thing to kiss muggles at muggle parties drunk on muggle alcohol. That was dangerous, it was deadly, it was essentially like proclaiming being a blood traitor. Astoria anxiously ran a hand through her messy brown hair, pushing it out of her face. 

Gwen, Astoria and Clive all sat together at the Slytherin table. They saved a seat for Ellery since he’d yet to appear, he was probably hanging out with Ravenclaws or Hufflepuffs, waiting until the very last minute to sit down with them. 

Lizzy and Ansley caught Astoria’s eye. They made a bee line to where she was sitting. 

“Hello Astoria,” Lizzy drawled looking pointedly at her. “I didn’t realize you were still associating yourself with mudbloods.” Astoria knew Lizzy was looking to start something. Astoria’s knuckles clenched around her fork so tight they turned white, she was torn between defending her friends and maintaining the delicate tight rope of her image for just a little bit longer. Gwen didn’t have that same dilemma, she stood up and turned around. 

“Merlin Lizzy, don’t you have something better to do right now?” Gwen snapped hurt. 

“You know Lizzy, I think you have something in your teeth,” Astoria faked seeming concerned for her, intending the icy cruelness of the statement that caused Lizzy to feel insecure enough for a second that she stood down. 

“Yeah, you might want to go to the bathroom to check it out.” Clive sighed and Lizzy narrowed her eyes at Astoria. 

“You know I thought you finally decided to grow up and stop playing little blood traitor but I guess you’ve decided to go down and die with the rest of them.” Lizzy almost shrieked, her calmness gone. 

“Lizzy!” Ansley exclaimed, clearly shocked and horrified that Lizzy had gone that far. If Astoria was smart she would’ve denied being a blood traitor but she wasn’t. She let the accusation stand. 

“Leave.” Astoria demanded. She felt eyes on her and she met a pair. 

Draco was watching intently, something angry glinting in his eye. Astoria swallowed and sat back down just in time for Ellery to slip into the seat next to her and for Dumbledore to start his speech. 

“Why would she think you’d stop being a blood traitor?” Clive asked and Astoria should’ve come clean about the teas with Ansley and Lizzy but instead the young witch merely shrugged. 

The sorting seemed to take forever and Astoria didn’t have much room in her stomach for the food at the feast so she simply pushed it around in her plate. Even dessert, usually her favorite part, couldn’t excite her stomach enough to end up in it. She was already too full of anxiety and dread, feeling suffocated by the noise and the crowdedness of the Great Hall, Astoria got up and went to go to the bathroom. 

It wasn’t until she turned the corner did she realize that someone had followed her. 

“Are you an idiot?” Draco’s sneering voice demanded, Astoria felt like she was about to cry, it was all too much. 

“I guess so.” Astoria ground out. It felt like she’d had a dozen fights today and she was exhausted. Draco’s long strides brought him up close and personal to Astoria who purposefully looked around, the corridor between the great hall and the bathrooms were frequented by Hogwarts students. 

Draco set his jaw and tugged the young witch down the hallway that led to the Slytherin common room, he let go only when he was confident they were out of sight. 

“What were you thinking, not denying being blood traitor!” He rushed out, “Are you trying to get killed?” Sometimes when Draco got angry his voice would get high pitched, and it grated against Astoria’s ears. 

“I can’t lose my friends.” Astoria said softly, feeling like she was being tugged in a million different directions. 

“It’s them or you.” Draco had calmed down, though he didn’t necessarily get more kind or soft, instead his voice was still guarded and angered it was just quieter, like maybe he was doing his best to not to frighten Astoria. It irritated her that he felt like he had to fake his behavior in order to appease her, she wanted him to not be angry at her in the first place, instead of having to try and guard the anger. 

“You’re wrong.” Astoria huffed. 

“About what?” Now Draco’s voice was incredulous, and a little condescending. Astoria wished she didn’t listen so closely to tone and emotion behind words. She knew herself that sometimes they didn’t come out the way one wished, but she found that it was a lifeline in these conversations with Draco. As good as he was getting these days at controlling his words and his meanings, his emotion always seemed thinly veiled. 

“Everything.” Astoria said softly, “You’re wrong about muggleborns, you’re on the wrong side of this war, and you’re wrong about me being in danger. Dumbledore will defeat Voldemort and everything will go back to normal, and there won’t be any more sides or traitors because there won’t be a war.” Astoria was quietly firm. 

“Look at me.” Draco’s hands hadn’t meant to be so antagonistic, but he found the only way he could truly impart the seriousness of the situation was to be this cruel. “Dumbledore will be dead by the end of the year. Voldemort has already infiltrated the ministry, most muggleborns will be registered or dead by the end of next year. I don’t know who’s feeding you this naïve story line but Voldemort is undefeatable. He’s immortal. You’re being foolish, if you had any sense at all you’d tell your friends to go home and never return to the wizarding world.” Draco’s whispered quickly into Astoria’s ear, his proximity more menacing than comforting. 

“Get away from me or I’ll hex you.” Astoria snapped raising her wand, Draco shook his head at her. 

“It’s not going to change anything, there’s nothing you can do to stop what’s coming.” Draco said pointedly. 

Astoria set her jaw and fired off a knee reverseal hex which Draco blocked, unsurprised by her outburst. Astoria felt tears forming as she fired more hexes at Draco, who saw each one coming and blocked. 

“I hate you!” Astoria shrieked, Draco rolled his eyes and it made Astoria’s blood burn like fire. 

“We should get back to the Great Hall.” Draco huffed as if he was relatively unphased by Astoria’s outburst, it made Astoria even more angry. 

“I’m not going back.” Astoria snapped and Draco frowned at her. 

“Do you even know the password to the common room yet?” After a brief pause Draco massaged his temples and looked down at Astoria, “it’s Mulciber.” 

Astoria nodded and padded off the common room. 

The common room looked the same as always, the cold stone floors and walls and eerey light that filtered in through the Great Lake. Her first year the older kids had told them that every once in a while you could see the giant squid’s tenticles rest against the windows. Astoria personally had watched the windows every time she sat with friends there all first year but had never seen the squid. 

She looked over at the wizard chess table that she’d sat at for hours before, the green velvet couches and chaises and armchairs, all of which she’d slung herself over during the year, engaging in all the riveting conversations Slytherins had. Astoria glanced at the portrait’s that Pansy Parkinson had bewitched to scream insults at people last year they were quite personal and had resulted in many people crying. Astoria walked over to the large book with the silver binding on the far shelf that she knew to be charmed. It only seventh year boys to see what it held on its pages. No one else knew what the inside of the book said, and no matter how many times people demanded to know what it said, the book stayed secret. 

Then there was the crown on the far coffee table, there was a crown with a jewel in the center that would change colors based on how you felt about a statement you said. For example, if you loved whatever you were talking about the jewel would turn green, if you hated it or were angry it’d turn red, if you were scared it’d turn yellow, and sad it’d turn blue. Astoria brushed her hand over the crown which she had vowed to never wear after almost revealing her crush on Zabini last October. 

In past years Astoria had gotten a sense of giddy familiarity pouring into the Slytherin common room with all her friends, rushing for seats by the large fireplace in the winter after cold quidditch matches, waiting impatiently to play a game of wizarding chess. It felt like home, even when people gave her friends strange looks, even when people muttered slurs under their breath, it’s not like it had ever been enough to get Gwen, Clive and her to leave. This place had always been just as much theirs as anyone else’s. 

Naturally no one had entered the common room yet, no one had bid them to leave yet but Astoria could already feel that this might not be the case anymore.


	13. Slughorn, Sweets, and the Owlery

Almost as if it had known from the first time the four Slytherin girls would be at odds, the castle had always arranged the girls’ room to have two beds on either side of the room separated by a large expanse. Astoria had never been in any of the other houses’ dorm rooms before, but she had been told that Slytherin had the largest rooms, not that there was any extra furniture, just more space. All four beds were lodged in each of the corners against the wall, with bed side chests and desks wedged between the beds. The desks were typically where Gwen and Astoria sat and worked on paper’s together while Astoria played music from her francophone or Gwen played music from her boombox. Lucky for Gwen and Astoria, Lizzy and Ansley had made a point from early on to attempt to never be in the dorm at the same time as them. 

However, there were always times in which this could not be avoided, for example, right before bed, or before breakfast in the morning. During these times there was almost always an awkward silence that hung heavy at first. Thankfully, eventually Astoria had gotten used to the silence and it didn’t faze her anymore. 

This year however when Astoria went down the hall to the girl’s dormitories, she was shocked to find two doors for the fourth year Slytherin girls. She attempted to open the first one and it was locked, as if she wasn’t the inhabitant. The second door opened, and Astoria looked at a room half the size of last years, with a much smaller window. The room was the same length, but the width had just been cut in half, it appeared as if the castle had merely created a wall separating the room into two. Astoria looked at the new set up bewildered. 

As soon as she could get over the bizarre change, she confirmed that it was indeed Gwen’s trunk that had been placed in front of the other bed, and Astoria let out a deep breath. Why had this happened? Astoria ducked out of the room again and looked down the hall, there were no other rooms that had been split like the fourth-year girls had. Astoria looked down the boys hall and found the fourth year boys and the second year boys had two split rooms. 

She realized quickly these were the only years that had Slytherin muggleborns in them. Slytherin muggleborns were a rather rare occurrence but certainly not impossible, a lot of times muggleborns didn’t know the notoriety or proclivity to prejudice the Slytherin house had, and when the hat recommended them for it, they’d simply taken it. Sometimes witches like Astoria accidentally convinced muggleborns that the Slytherin house was the best house in all of Hogwarts. Astoria bit her lip nervously and went to go lie down. 

“Astoria?” Astoria awoke abruptly to Gwen entering the room, she looked around confused. “I tried to open the first door and it was locked, why are there two rooms for the fourth-year girls?” 

“I think it has something to do with muggleborns, fourth year and second year boys have separate rooms now too.” Astoria sleepily mumbled. 

“Merlin’s beard, you think the castle did this?” Gwen said collapsing onto her bed, completely forgetting the concern she had for Astoria when Draco Malfoy had followed the young witch out of the Great Hall and then returned minutes later, and then Astoria never returned. 

“Probably, or the professors.”

The next morning at breakfast no one dare sat within a yard of Gwen, Astoria and Clive. They all pretended not to notice. Astoria was on her third piece of buttered toast, starving from missing dinner last night, when Millicent Bulstrode tapped Astoria on the shoulder. 

“Slughorn wants to see you in his office today before dinner.” Millicent’s voice was smarmy and taunting, like she was expecting Astoria to receive punishment. As soon as Millicent left Astoria glanced over to Clive and Gwen. 

“Who’s Slughorn?” Astoria asked, reaching for a soft-boiled egg and the pumpkin juice pitcher. 

“You missed the announcement yesterday, Snape is now in Defense against the Dark Arts, and Slughorn is the new potions professor.” Gwen explained, and Astoria remembered hearing that Snape had taken the D.A.D.A position earlier in the summer. 

“Oh. Well, is Snape still the head of Slytherin?” Astoria asked and Gwen nodded. 

“Odd, then. I wonder what Slughorn wants.” 

The morning passed quickly, Astoria only had one class without either Gwen or Clive and it was Arithmancy where there were no other Slytherins. Astoria sat with a Ravenclaw named Lara who she knew to be a half-blood. Lara was quiet but smart and Astoria and she finished the problem set that had been assigned to them in with time to spare. Still, they didn’t speak in the left-over time, both of them instead looked over the textbook and got started on the first homework assignment, which wasn’t due until Friday. 

For Lunch, Astoria, Gwen and Clive decided to sneak food out of the Great Hall to eat it in the Greenhouses, where it was temperate but empty. In the afternoon Astoria had potions, where she once again found herself sitting with Lara, as opposed to Fletcher, Millicent’s younger brother and the only other fourth year boy Slytherin besides Clive and Ellery. Astoria figured Millicent probably wouldn’t have wanted to sit with her anyway. 

Astoria spent the entire class observing Professor Slughorn who reminded her of what a having a grandfather might be like. He had them brewing a potion on the first day as a sort of competition for some sweets that would change your voice into funny accents. It was skelegrow. Astoria frowned, thinking about the time she’d brewed it with Draco and how fun it’d been. She remembered to crush the scarab beetles like Draco had shown her and smiled proudly when she was the first one done, beating Lara by mere minutes. 

Slughorn meandered over and she could see him look at her closely. 

“Could it be… Ms. Greengrass?” Slughorns tone had changed a miniscule amount from the command in which he taught the classroom to a slightly schmooze-ey tone, like he was at a dinner party or something. 

“How’d you know?” Astoria mumbled sheepishly. 

“You’re a spitting image of your mother. She was one of my favorite students back in the day, truly a bright witch. She did well for herself marrying your father. Oh- forgive me, how is your father? I was so sorry to hear he was ill.” Slughorn rambled like an old man who started to forget how valuable time could be. 

“He’s doing alright.” Astoria lied, “I’ve finished my skele-grow though,” Astoria pointed out, reminding the professor as to why he’d come over in the first place. 

“Right, well, wow. This looks quite good!” Professor Slughorn giddily assessed the potion, he cast some spells on it and smiled at the young witch. 

“Well, as you’ve finished first, I do believe this is yours.” Slughorn placed the box of sweets on the table next to Astoria’s cauldron before looking up to address the rest of the class. “I am pleased to announce that we have had our winner! The first correctly brewed skele-grow! Now it is not that hard to make a perfect skele-grow so I implore you all to keep trying! It will be graded!” Slughorn said with a clap. Everyone looked over jealously at Astoria, most of them having just started brewing after painstakingly chopping their scarab beetles. 

When Lara was done brewing, she looked over at Astoria. 

“How’d you know to crush the beetles like that?” She asked. 

“I had a tutor this summer.” Astoria admitted and Lara nodded thoughtfully. 

“Well, I’m glad we’ll get to be potions partners this year then.” She said finally in a soft voice. Astoria nodded. 

After one more class it was time to meet Slughorn in his office. She knocked hesitantly. 

“Come in!” Slughorn was jolly, and Astoria pushed the door open. His office was much larger than most of the other professors she knew, full of couches and equipped with large fireplace. It seemed more like a living room with a desk than an office, save for the bookshelves full of books. 

“Hello Professor, Millicent told me you wanted to see me before dinner.” Astoria figured he remembered but she also was hoping to make this as fast as possible since she was starving. 

“Yes, yes, I just wanted to check on you, make sure things are going well in Slytherin.” He said sitting down on an armchair. He motioned for Astoria to sit on the couch across from the chair. 

“Are you asking every student?” Astoria had forgotten to be polite. 

“No, I am not.” Professor Slughorn uncomfortably admitted, “How do I say this… delicately.” He mumbled, looking down at his shoes before looking back into Astoria’s eyes. “I’m under the impression that you might be slightly…. Erm…. Well… kinder to those who are borne of muggle parents.” He bumbled out and Astoria’s expression soured. 

“So?” It was a bad habit to get abrupt and rude when uncomfortable. Astoria knew if she had any sort of tact she wouldn’t let her emotions be so easy to show, she wouldn’t appear defensive or reflect when things were uncomfortable for her but she found it was impossible. 

“Well, I just want to let you know I’m here for you if things get tough in your house. There are plenty of Slytherins who aren’t pureblood fanatics.” Slughorn supplied. 

“Is this why some of the dorms are separated? You want to keep the purebloods fanatics and the muggleborns and blood traitors separate?” Astoria asked curiously. 

“It was Dumbledore’s idea; he just wants everyone to feel safe in their dorm rooms.” Slughorn explained. 

"Do any of the other houses have it?” 

“I don’t think so, the other houses don’t have as many problems with blood purity as Slytherin does I reckon.” Slughorn mumbled clearly deeply uncomfortable. 

“Okay. Well…” Astoria trailed off processing the information, it was odd that this brand-new teacher had approached her, how he could know about her blood traitor tendencies before he’d even met her was beyond her. “If that’s all.” She finally said, deeply uncomfortable. 

“Yes. Yes. Well, don’t forget, please do come to me, but otherwise yes. That’s all, enjoy dinner.” Slughorn said warmly and Astoria nodded awkwardly before leaving his office. 

Astoria could feel it in the air, the tension of blood purity seemed to plague the Slytherin common room. Astoria, Clive and Gwen no longer felt welcome and instead had begun taking refuge in the library or the greenhouse or even in courtyards on warm evenings. It felt weird, like most people didn’t quite care enough to truly shun the three, or be outwardly mean, Astoria began to get really good at detecting the feeling of being unwanted. 

The most frequent and obvious sign of it was the diverting of eyes, suddenly people avoided looking at them as if they were basilisks and simple eye contact could mean death. There was also the hushing of conversations and the closing of groups, Astoria noticed that while she walked by people would purposely shift their position so Astoria, Gwen or Clive wouldn’t be able to join the conversation. Then there was the body language, Slytherins would frequently cross their arms and square their feet, as if they were preparing for Astoria to shove them every time she was forced to talk in class. 

The week felt long, and Astoria didn’t even know if the weekend would be something to look forward too, since it usually meant many hours where they would need to find places to be since they were no long really welcome in the common room. Gwen seemed a little off, she was quieter and more reserved in class, she didn’t like walking to classes without friends and she seemed much less animated in the presence of others. 

“So, I was thinking,” Astoria began on Saturday morning while they were all sitting in the courtyard under their favorite tree getting a head start on homework. “What if we asked Gwen’s parents to buy us a TV?” Astoria asked. Gwen and Clive broke out laughing. 

“Astoria, why do you want a TV?” Clive chuckled. 

“To watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer obviously!” Astoria exclaimed, indignant that all her friends were laughing at her. 

“Do you have any idea how expensive a television is?” Clive continued the teasing. 

“No…” Astoria trailed off. 

“Or how it works? Where would we get electricity to plug it in? Would we have to put a satellite dish in the owlery and run cords all the way down to the Slytherin dorms? Or maybe we could see if antennas still work, do you think they’ll get a signal in Hogwarts?” Clive spoke about these options like they were insane, but Astoria only understood 1/3rd of the words coming out of his mouth. Gwen on the other had found herself laughing louder and longer than she had all week. 

“I was not this mean to you when I explained the floo system.” Astoria huffed crossing her arms across her chest and looking back at her arithmancy textbook. They worked in silence for a couple more minutes before Gwen spoke up. 

“Astoria, do you have the ingredients for those hair color changing candies we made this summer? I think I left it at your house.” Gwen asked and Astoria thought about it. 

“Yeah actually, I think I put them away with the molds we used to make them. I could owl my mother and ask her to send them.” Astoria said without thinking. It suddenly dawned on her, “Or maybe I could just see if one of the house elves would be willing to talk to Sorrell for me.” Astoria tacked on somberly. 

“Or maybe you should write her?” Clive said delicately, “I mean maybe this could be a good reason to talk to your mum again.” 

“Only if you want though.” Gwen said quickly, not wanting to be responsible to possible rejection, “I just thought it might be fun to leave some out in the common room and see how many people fall for it.” Astoria smiled at Gwen’s plan. 

“It would serve them right for being so awful this week.” Astoria admitted ruefully. “And I guess it would be a good way to see where we stand.” Astoria sighed, she ruffled around in her bag for a piece of parchment. 

“Okay, how does this sound?” Astoria said reading out loud as she wrote down. 

“Dear Mother, 

I was wondering if it’d be possible for you to owl me the recipe for hair color changing candy, the necessary ingredients, and the molds. If not no worries, 

Sincerely,   
Astoria” 

Astoria looked expectantly at her friends. 

“I mean, if you want to brush of whatever happened in the blow out and just move on I think that’s good.” Gwen said shrugging. 

“What did happen?” Clive asked and Gwen’s head snapped at him to glare. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Astoria predictably mumbled, she didn’t want to think about brushing over the subject with her mom or moving on. Astoria still hadn’t forgiven her, but she also didn’t want to never speak to her mom again either. This was the easiest way she decided, to just act like it had never happened in the first place, even if it meant acting like she had moved on. 

“Astoria?” She knew it was Draco before she craned her head to look at him just by his voice and the expression on her best friends faces. She briefly just considered not saying anything to him and pretending that he wasn’t there at all, or maybe just hexing him, mostly she just wanted him to get the message and go away. After a brief consideration however she became aware of the real reality that neither would likely work. 

“I’m busy, Draco.” Astoria liked this route, at least now she could pretend there was some maturity to her petty anger at him after their fight last week. 

“Doing what?” He queried, his voice was challenging but not mean or antagonizing. If Astoria didn’t know better, she’d almost say it was relaxed, sort of casual. That, however, was likely improbably considering the location in public, and confounded by the fact he was in the presence of two muggleborns staring up at him, their mouths gaping. 

“I was actually just about to go the owlery to find Bernie and mail something.” Astoria challenged back, gracefully standing up and brushing off her weekend clothes. Draco raised an eyebrow at her puzzled. 

“Your only two friends are right here, who on earth could you possibly be owling.” Draco taunted and Astoria rolled her eyes. 

“None of your business.” She huffed looking at him expectantly throughout a long pause. “If you have nothing else to say…” Astoria pointedly looked towards the exit of the courtyard that would bring Malfoy back to Slytherin. 

“I’ll walk with you.” Draco was good at commanding things, Astoria realized. She looked guiltily back at Gwen and Clive who looked in turn looked quite confused. 

On the way to the owlery Draco was silent, though Astoria could see him continuously glance down at the letter, trying to peek who it could possibly be addressed to. Astoria angrily switched it to her other hand, so he’d be less tempted. Astoria looked up at him briefly, really looked at him and frowned. Somehow, he looked worse than he did in the summer, somehow, he seemed even more tired, even more exhausted and even more high strung. She didn’t like it. 

When they got there Bertie flew down to Astoria and landed right in front of her. Instinctively Astoria reached out and pet Bertie, stroking his feathers. He shook his head and hooted warmly, bending his head to receive more pets. Astoria tied the letter onto the owl’s leg and with one last love peck, Bertie the owl flew home. 

“You know, you’re not very good at being a pureblood,” Draco huffed watching Astoria give love and attention to Bertie. Astoria’s face soured at this. 

“Did you follow me here just to insult me?” Astoria asked. 

“I didn’t…” Draco trailed off, he wasn’t sure what he was going to say, he didn’t mean it? He meant it, she was a blood traitor, she didn’t have the type of haughtiness a pureblood needed, she wasn’t regal or elegant in the way her old sister was, or Draco’s mother was. Did Draco not mean it as an insult? Did he not hold her behavior against her? 

Astoria scoffed, sensing Draco’s unsureness. 

“So why are you here?” Astoria pivoted, crossing her arms defensively against her chest. 

“You’re terribly impolite.” Draco mused and Astoria’s jaw dropped. 

“I am?” She quipped, the way she moved around Draco made him incredibly aware that he was being cornered into an argument. “Draco, you pull me into corners, yell at me, try to control me, and for why? We’re not even friends!” Astoria snapped, she didn’t know why it came out like that, while they were not really friends by what she’d defined she cared for Draco and diminishing their relationship like that felt wrong to her. Draco’s jaw had clenched and he was utilizing his practiced guarded expression. 

“Why did you have sex with me?” Draco demanded bluntly and Astoria felt her heart sink. 

“I-I told you.” Astoria was so caught off guard she felt like she was freefalling and attempting to grasp at something to slow the descent into chaos. “I just wanted to feel something else.” 

“So, if I kissed you right now you’d pull away.” Draco tested and Astoria found herself subconsciously wetting her lips. She didn’t move backwards when Draco approached, and she found herself surprised when Draco stopped. “You never owled me.” He mumbled and Astoria looked at him confused. 

“What?” Astoria asked, feeling completely off kilter by her own self-realization that she wanted Draco to kiss her and his admission that he had wanted her to owl him. 

“I expected you to owl me, at least to tell me you’d made it safely to your friend’s-“ 

“Gwen’s” Astoria corrected. 

“Gwen’s house. But you didn’t.” Draco said curiously. “By Pureblood standards that’s quite rude you know.” He tacked on and Astoria closed her eyes, hoping that if she eliminated sight she could forget how close Draco was and maybe she’d just have a the smallest chance at finding an inner calm. “You regret it.” Draco stated firmly. 

“Do you?” Astoria asked, opening her eyes back up again and looking up into Draco’s. She could tell that he’d given this a great deal of thought. 

“I regret…” He trailed off like he was trying to remember the perfect way to phrase this, how he’d turned it over in his head before, “I regret how and when it happened. But I don’t regret feeling that way with you, or about you.” He stated, with some pride he’d managed to be that open and that concise. 

“I don’t regret it at all.” Astoria spewed the bold-faced lie with the most confidence she could. Something about the amused grin on Draco’s face made it clear that he wasn’t buying it. 

“Is that so?” Draco asked. 

“Yes. It served the purpose I needed.” Astoria said pointedly, wondering if Draco would get the double meaning, a small terrible part of her wanted him to know that she had used him for than just feeling good in the moment, that it had been a calculated choice on her part. A decision that had not yet technically panned out, but she imagined would soon. For some reason Astoria found herself wanting to push Draco, to hurt him, and to see what would happen. 

“Huh,” Draco bit his lip, and she could see that he was thinking, Astoria wanted to be in his head, to know exactly what it was his mind was puzzling through, if she was as clever as she thought she was. She wanted to know how it made Draco feel, knowing he’d been used like that, if he cared, if his feelings were hurt. Still, Astoria said nothing. Her curiosity grew when his expression shifted, suddenly his neck was craning down and his lips were against hers voraciously. 

Astoria was lost, the way his lips assaulted hers, it was precise and delicious. When his tongue swiped across her bottom lip, she opened her mouth and felt chills tingle down her spine in the most tantalizing way. Draco roughly grabbed the back of her neck with one hand, forcing their lips to press even harder against each other. Something about his possessive grip elicited a warmth and electricity in the base of Astoria’s stomach. 

The other hand appeared out of nowhere on the small of Astoria’s back and pressed her small body against his taller one. Astoria moaned lightly in his mouth at the sudden contact and it had Draco grinning into the kiss before abruptly pulling away. 

“What was the purpose of that?” Draco cocked an eyebrow, proud of himself for pulling that out on Astoria, his confidence faltered when he realized how delicious Astoria looked after the kiss. Her lips were swollen, and her cheeks had reddened, her hair was a tad bit tousled and she looked almost lost, deprived from wherever the kiss had been heading. 

“Draco..” Astoria mumbled, completely off kilter. She had forgotten how it felt to be kissed and held by Draco, how wanted it made her feel when he possessively held her like that. How safe and hot it was at the same time, she bit her lip. 

“It’d be a waste to lie to ourselves.” He stated firmly and Astoria furrowed her eyebrows into an exasperated pout. 

“Draco,” She started, needed to swallow harshly before starting to address him again, “I’m a blood traitor.”


	14. Brand-New Brooms, Macarons, and Rocking Chairs

Astoria had no idea why she told him that, but it felt like the biggest weight lifted off of her chest. She felt like she had come clean to him about some big dirty secret, laid out her reservations on the table and showed him who she truly was. It felt better than reciting the words into the mirror after his father’s trial and even better than letting the accusation stand. She wished she’d said it to her mother and her sister and everyone whom she loved. Astoria realized that she was tired of walking a tightrope, pretending like people who were important to her didn’t exist, it was exhausting. 

She was friends with muggleborns, she cared about their wellbeing and thought they were no more important than herself, no less deserving of the education she was entitled too. It was something that was natural to her, and she was tired of being the one who had to accommodate her beliefs to everyone around her, keeping quiet to the people who she needed to appease. It was their turn to come to terms with Astoria, this was how she felt and it was their turn to police their response. 

Draco didn’t look surprised, this made Astoria feel a little bit vindicated. She wanted him to deal with this right now, if he was going to go around kissing her and holding her like this he needed to know and understand and accept. She didn’t want to enter whatever they were entering with him believing that she would hide her friends, that it would be on her to bite her tongue and hold her opinion down. 

“I know.” Draco’s voice was soft. 

“I care about Gwen and Clive.” Astoria said flat out. “They’re my best friends.” 

“I know.” 

“And you still want this?” Astoria needed more than his acknowledgement. 

“It doesn’t change how I feel about you.” Draco mumbled, and despite how forced the tone was when he said it, Astoria focused on the words and their meanings.

Astoria essentially flung herself at him, she squeezed him so tightly her joy overflowing that Draco felt a deep guilt build up in the pit of his stomach. Astoria pulled away to kiss him excitedly, Draco could feel her smile against his lips and even though he had conflict brewing he couldn’t help but feel the contagious excitement. 

This was his problem; Astoria was the only person he’d ever met who felt like this. Her emotions were so raw and unguarded most of the time they spread to everyone around her, or at least to Draco. He liked that she was bad at staying calm and composed, that he could absorb her anger or her sadness, that he could tell when she was upset and that he could see through all of her games and excuses. It made him feel in control, like there was nothing she could be doing or hiding from him because it was all written out in her actions and her behaviors. 

It’s how Draco knew that Astoria thought he’d just told her it was okay to be a blood traitor. Like a good pureblood he had measured his words precisely and delivered them purposefully. He hadn’t commited to anything, he didn’t approve of her stance on the topic, he didn’t like it and he knew he’d continue to lie about what she actually believed behind her back to his family and friends. He knew that eventually if she didn’t come to her senses, he’d have to find a way to make her, whatever it took. He had just spoken in misleading truths, the way she felt about mudbloods in this very instance was not stopping how bad he wanted to have sex with her and be around her. How contagious her company was. 

Astoria had not been raised with the same tact and skill in this subject as almost all of her peers. Lizzy or Ansley would’ve seen this for what it was, but not Astoria. Instead, she gullibly kissed him like he’d finally overcome all of his prejudices and had decided to love her for her. He had not. 

“Astoria,” Draco whispered when she pulled away from kissing him. 

“Yes,” Draco could literally hear the excitement and anticipation in her voice. 

“Meet me in the library on Tuesday night. Eight.” 

“For what?” She asked innocently. 

“A surprise.” Draco murmured and Astoria felt her heart race. 

Astoria collected herself and then the two Slytherins descended down the stair case of the owlery, Draco’s hand protectively on the small of her back the same way it’d been in the Three Broomsticks before he’d left her alone. Astoria sort of liked it, she couldn’t put her finger on it but something about the way he pretended to guide her and stood just inches behind her, looming over her made her feel comfortable and in control of herself. 

They split ways as Astoria wandered back out to the courtyard, already trying to figure out how to explain to Gwen and Clive about what had happened. Clive and Gwen were sitting just where she’d left them, causally sprawled under the big tree. It looked like Clive had finished his muggle studies homework and had moved onto his charms essay. 

“What’d Malfoy want?” Clive asked as Astoria unceremoniously plopped onto the ground next to her almost done potions homework. 

“To talk to me about some stuff that went down this summer. He was the one who paid for my room at the three broomsticks the night before Gwen picked me up.” Astoria explained. 

“Is that why he followed you away from the Great Hall during the Welcome Feast?” Gwen asked confused. 

“No. It’s just – it’s weird. He was really nice to me all summer, he tutored me in potions, and it was fun, but now we’re back at school,” Astoria paused because she had no idea where she was going with the sentence. She’d started with no idea how to finish, how much she had intended to tell them. 

“And you’re reminded that he’s a blood purist asshole?” Clive supplied and Gwen chuckled in agreement. Astoria sighed and rubbed her eyes. She couldn’t tell her friends, they’d never believe her, and for good reason. Draco would still probably be an asshole to muggleborns across the school. 

“Yeah, I guess.” Astoria sighed wondering if she was any good at all at keeping secrets. With her entire life as evidence, she’d have to say not. 

“Well, please keep stringing him along, personally I’ve never been called mudblood less in my entire life. Which is crazy because currently the Slytherin house is currently engaged in a cold war, and Sammy , the second year muggleborn, said he’s been getting harassed every time he enters the common room.” Clive sighed. 

“Is it really that bad?” Astoria winced. 

“Not for us, yet.” Gwen sighed, “I thought it was because we’re friends with you, but maybe it’s because Malfoy has a crush on you.” Gwen supplied thoughtfully. 

“He does not!” Astoria cried and Gwen laughed rolling her eyes. 

“He looks at you like he looks at a brand-new broom, all excited and possessive, and scared as if one wrong move might break it.” Gwen hummed teasingly. 

“That does not sound like a crush to me.” Astoria huffed. 

“It sounds like the only type of crush Malfoy could have to me.” Clive joked and Astoria rolled her eyes even though she felt warmth in her stomach, she didn’t want to reveal it. She liked the idea that Draco had a crush on her, but she was scared she was beginning to realize she might have a crush on him. 

Astoria always enjoyed how natural and relaxed her relationship with Clive and Gwen felt, when the trio was alone it felt like the rest of the world didn’t exist. They joked about television shows, argued over stupid things, like whether or not House Elves could have hobbies, and sometimes fell into fits of laughter. 

It was dark before Astoria even noticed time had passed and they realized they only had a couple minutes before the house elves would take all the food away from dinner. Completely starved from missing lunch, the three sprinted through the halls, their stomachs grumbling, and their spirits high. Without even thinking they slid into the first empty seats and dumped as much food on their plates. 

Someone cleared their throat and Astoria looked up face to face with Pansy Parkinson. The older girl was looking down her abysmally ugly pig shaped nose at the three fourth years breathlessly stuffing their faces. Astoria made a point of rolling her eyes and continuing to funnel food down her throat. 

“A product of poor breeding if you ask me,” The Parkinson sneered to Tracy and Millicent. Astoria swallowed a large mouthful of food before turning to Pansy.

“Bitch.” Astoria snapped grabbing her wand, prepared to duel in the Great Hall. 

“Miss Greengrass!” Astoria recognized the voice to be Professor Slughorn, he was trotting down from the Professor’s table, and had clearly called her name to break up the altercation. Astoria gave Pansy a sickly-sweet smile before turning to the old professor who was out of breath from his jog. 

“I was wondering if we could maybe have a word!” If Professor Slughorn was about to tell Astoria off for raising her wand in the Great Hall he didn’t show it. Instead, the Professor led her into the Entrance hall. 

“Is everything alright Professor?” Astoria asked politely, unsure why he’d bring Astoria all the way out here. 

“Yes, well, I was just wondering if you’d heard from Mr. Malfoy recently. I was told he was supposed to be a rather bright potions student, but… I find he seems relatively…. Distracted.” Professor Slughorn said concern etched into his tone. 

“I haven’t spoken to Draco recently, I’m sorry.” Astoria lied poorly. 

“It’s just that I’d heard he tutored you this summer and your skills seem so advanced; I was expecting expertise from him.” Professor Slughorn continued to push, and Astoria didn’t like how much this man had seemed to know about her, considering she barely knew the man. 

“Sorry I can’t help.” Astoria said coldly, and Slughorn recoiled. 

“Miss Greengrass, I hope you know, I’m not trying to pry. I just want you to know that if you ever need someone to come to, I’m here for you. I understand the situation you’re in.” Slughorn told her solemnly, and Astoria couldn’t help but wonder how he even knew what her situation was, let alone relate to it. She nodded brusquely before retreating back into the Great Hall. 

Astoria bumped into Gwen and Clive hurrying out of the Great Hall. 

“We’re heading to the Kitchens.” Gwen said in a hurry, and Astoria nodded and turned around with them. 

On Monday, Draco waited outside the door of her last class of the day. Clive and Gwen gave her a weird look but walked along to the common room, leaving her alone with Draco. 

“Eat dinner with me today.” Draco commanded and Astoria narrowed her eyes. 

“I’m eating with Clive and Gwen later.” Astoria hmphed her arms crossing against her chest defiantly, Draco rolled his eyes at what he saw as childish behavior and placed his hand at the small of her back pointedly. 

“I told some of my friends we started dating.” Draco ventured carefully, as if he was just dipping his toes in the ocean to test the water. “They didn’t believe me so, I’d really appreciate if you could show.” 

Astoria’s brain flashed back to the fight after the tea party with Lizzy and Ansley where she tried to show Draco off, and he told her they weren’t dating. 

“Are we?” Astoria asked puzzled. 

“Excuse me?” Draco asked, pretending to be confused. 

“Dating. I don’t recall you asking.” Astoria said puzzled. She wondered what on earth Draco could possibly gain from dating her, she was a social pariah, to someone completely uninformed she may be a good courting choice, but Draco was not uninformed. It made no sense for him to want her to eat dinner with his friends, and there was nothing for him to show off. 

“I thought so, I mean it’s only proper.” Draco drawled and Astoria frowned. 

“Why do you want to date me?” Astoria asked bluntly and Draco laughed. 

“Because I think you’re hot?” He shrugged. 

“Then why do I have to eat dinner with your friends? If I’m just a shag?” Astoria pivoted, she didn’t like how little control she had over this situation. She tried to think back to summer Draco, who was kinder and decidedly less demanding and assumptive. Her crush on that Draco was unadulterated, pure and if that Draco had asked for her to be his girlfriend she would’ve undoubtedly said yes. This Draco was on a mission Astoria was sure, and she was just some stepping stone for him to get whatever he needed. 

Astoria just needed to figure out what that was. 

“Stop being difficult. Come on.” Draco said, forcefully pulling her towards the Great Hall, she could put up a fight and start shoving him in the middle of the hallway but somehow, she kind of wanted to see what the point of her going to eat with him was. 

Ten minutes in she decided there could not possibly be a point to this torture, other than to maybe punish Astoria for something. 

“Wow Astoria, I really thought Draco was kidding when he said you guys were dating.” Blaise Zabini said after Astoria had already been sitting there for a long time. Zabini was eyeing how close the two were sitting, and the trajectory of the arm that Draco had under the table, it’s likely endpoint on Astoria’s thigh. 

“Yeah, we were keeping it private until Draco had this change of heart.” Astoria mumbled and Pansy snorted. 

“I wonder what that could possibly be about.” Pansy Parkinson said pointedly looking Astoria dead in the eye. Astoria had absolutely no idea what Pansy was referring to and Astoria couldn’t help but wonder if even Pansy did. It seemed like the whole group was out for blood and was just picking at them until they uncovered a sore spot or weakness. 

Mostly the conversation operated pointedly with Astoria out of it. It moved fluidly about topics that only sixth years could relate to, their classes and homework, their classmates, it turned a little to talk about Quidditch, but Astoria wasn’t really interested in that either. And so, Astoria sat quietly and picked at the food on her plate, moving around the stew that had been served that night, she found her uncomfortableness had taken away her hunger. 

Towards the end of the meal Astoria felt the sensation of someone staring at her and couldn’t help but glance up at where Clive and Gwen were watching her, shocked. Astoria fidgeted uncomfortably, torn between wanting to get up and sit with her friends and not wanting to seem rude. Draco squeezed right above her knee in a sort of warning fashion that just made Astoria want to get up more but made her realize how she definitely couldn’t. 

The torture was over soon anyway. Draco had asked Astoria if she was hungry for dessert and she said she wasn’t really hungry at all and by then both of their plates were cleared, and they’d sat for a polite enough time. 

“Thanks for letting me eat with you guys.” Astoria said tightly, and the group curiously nodded, Astoria slid out of the bench, not even checking or waiting to see if Draco had followed, she knew this was probably not the right move, but she was too focused on Gwen and Clive. What would they think? 

Astoria knew she hadn’t safely cleared the view of the Great Hall when Draco had finally caught up to her and pulled her roughly into his arms, and then thankfully out of sight, where he promptly stopped be so handsy. Astoria furrowed her eyebrows, knowing that was for show, but for who? His friends? Clive and Gwen? The professors? Astoria wondered if Draco knew Professor Slughorn’s interest in him and if Astoria should tell him. She oddly felt inclined not to. 

“That went well,” Draco said, the slightest trace of pride in his tone. Astoria wondered sometimes if she was right about Draco being reserved and was correct in projecting the slightest inflection in his voice to mean a real emotion, or if Draco was simply being upfront with his emotions and just had such muted ones. 

“Did it?” Astoria wanted to know what “well” meant to Draco because she wanted to understand the purpose. 

“Yep.” Draco quipped, not giving any more information, he didn’t say anything as he walked Astoria to the common room, he stood at the door not following her in. 

“Where are you going?” Astoria asked curiously. 

“To go study.” Draco’s mood had darkened. Astoria nodded and walked through the portrait into the common room. She waited half a second before creeking open the door and watching Draco go up the wrong staircase if he’d planned on going to the library. Astoria narrowed her eyes and closed the portrait door again. 

“What are you doing?” Lizzy sneered, her and Ansley were sitting by the fire playing a game of exploding snap. 

“Nothing,” Astoria sighed softly, not having the energy in her to be rude to the girls whom she had tea with all summer long. 

“We’re just about to start a new game of exploding snap if you want to join,” Ansley politely enquired and Astoria shrugged, she sat cross legged next to them and took her cards, her heart beating a little quicker at the possibility of a card exploding in her face. 

Astoria only played a single game, and it was mostly in silence. The game required and a lot of focus and Astoria needed to play hard and good to win exploding Snap against Lizzy and Ansley. Astoria also was eager to go find Clive and Gwen and talk to them, so she didn’t want to get tied into a bunch of run off games with two pureblood girls in the common room. Unfortunately, while they were engaged in the fastest part of the game, where players went around and placed cards of similar numbers or suits on the pile, hoping they didn’t explode before they placed them down, Malfoy’s friends walked in. 

Astoria’s focus left the game for a second, snapping to the group of sixth years who were watching her intently and a card exploded in her face. Astoria coughed at the smoke dust that she inhaled. Everyone broke out laughing and Astoria harumphed in good nature, shaking her head as she wiped her eyes. 

“I’m going to go wash up and go to the library. I’ll see you guys later.” Astoria sighed, getting up to go to the Loo and wash some of the dust off her face. This unfortunately meant she was entering the loo at the same time as Tracey Bulstrode. 

“Greengrass.” Tracey Bulstrode addressed the younger witch formally. 

“Hello Tracey,” Astoria said warmly and politely while she intently splashed water on her face and used soap to get the dust out from underneath her fingernails. Tracey seemed happy she had cornered Astoria in the loo alone. 

“It’s time you actually pick a side.” Tracey Bulstrode sneered in a sort of threatening and insinuating way. Astoria didn’t want to admit that she had no idea what Tracey was referring to so she simply dried her face and hands and turned to Tracey. 

“Make me.” Astoria snapped before leaving the bathroom. 

The next morning at breakfast Bertie flew in and dropped off a large package with a small note from her mother. 

“Read it aloud” Gwen demanded, and Astoria nodded. 

“Dearest Astoria, 

I’ve sent the recipe and necessary ingredients. Sorrell wanted me to pack you some warm socks as well since he forgot, and I’ve also packed some sweaters I saw in Diagon Alley that made me think of you and your sister. I added some macarons, enough for you to share with your housemates, and some other sweets with interesting side effects. 

Please write back when you have time. 

Love,   
Mother.” 

Astoria read the letter out loud and then reread it in her head, her fingers tracing over the delicate cursive her mother had penned in. Astoria hadn’t realized until she read the letter how much she missed her mother, and she fiercely bit her bottom lip in order to not cry. 

“Are you gonna open it?” Clive asked, anticipation in his voice. As usual when a student received a rather large package at breakfast people would glance over and watch curiously to see what they’d received. Astoria tore open the package and gleefully sorted through the potions equipment and supplies to the candies, macarons, pair of socks, and sweaters. 

Both sweaters were soft cashmere and the same cut, a tight and thin cardigan. Astoria assumed hers was the deep green one and Daphne’s was the black one. Since growing up Daphne mostly wore black in pureblood fashion while Astoria tended to go for colors, although her mother had started restricting her to darker more fashionable colors. Astoria folded her sister’s sweater back up in wrapping and got up to go give it to her while Clive and Gwen sorted through the labels of the candies. 

“Daphne, Mother wanted me to give you this,” Astoria said calmly, she hadn’t spoken to her sister since the train ride and she was pretty sure the older girl had been avoiding her. This morning Daphne sat with Vincent Crabbe and Pansy Parkinson. Daphne looked at Astoria shocked but nonetheless took the package and carefully unwrapped it, she nodded at the cashmere sweater. 

“It’s beautiful, make sure you write her my thanks.” Daphne said formally and Astoria nodded. 

“She also gave me some macarons. I’m going to put them in the common room for everyone if you want some.” Astoria added and she didn’t like how distant this casualness seemed. Typically Astoria and Daphne would find themselves bumping into each other at the library or in the hallway and they’d chat at least a little, this year however Astoria hadn’t even seen her once. 

“Thank you.” Daphne said shortly and Astoria nodded before going back to where Gwen and Clive sat. They chatted about the candies. And Astoria couldn’t help but feel remiss about her sister’s cold attitude. 

That night Astoria met Draco in the library at the table that overlooked the Great Lake. 

“I need you to get something for me.” Draco stated and Astoria furrowed her eyebrows at him. “I need you to ask Slughorn for it.” He tacked on. 

“Excuse me?” Astoria was surprised by how fast and low Draco was talking, she felt like he was scheming and she was a moving piece. 

“I know you’re a favorite of his, and I know he’s been asking to meet with you privately.” Draco stated coldly, she was shocked by his behavior, it wasn’t mean or cruel like he could be sometimes, but it wasn’t the warmth from this summer either. It seemed, efficient? Down to business? Purposeful? 

“Why can’t you get it?” Astoria crossed her arms across her chest. 

“Because even if someone would give it to me, it’d raise too much suspicion.” Draco supplied brusquely. 

“What is it?” Astoria narrowed her eyes suspiciously, since when did Draco order her around like this? He clearly enjoyed the fact he could make her do things but since when did he flex it this much? Was he testing her, to see how much she’d do for him? Was he going to get her in trouble? 

“A book, about furniture magic.” Draco said evenly. 

“What’s it called?” Astoria asked and Draco. 

“It’s called “A Repair Manuel: Traveling Tables and other Magically Moving Furniture Charms” and it’s in the restricted section,” Draco said. 

“Why is it in the restricted section?” Astoria demanded. 

“Furniture charms are advanced and can be very dangerous.” Draco shrugged his shoulders. 

“Well why do I need it?” Astoria questioned. 

“Your mother is struggling with a bewitched rocking chair.” Draco shrugged and Astoria narrowed her eyes. 

“And why do you need it?” Astoria challenged. 

“I need to repair some bewitched furniture is all.” Draco was purposefully vague, but Astoria could tell that beneath all the casualness of this conversation it was anything but. Draco was pale and his palms were sweaty, Astoria could sense his desperation now even though he was doing his best to hide it, he really needed this book. 

“Fine,” I’ll talk to him tomorrow after class, Astoria said feeling a little bit used. 

“No need, he spends Tuesday afternoons in the library, merely walk up to him.” Draco motioned to a table where Professor Slughorn sat correcting papers. Astoria set her jaw, straightened out her uniform and walked up to the old professor. She couldn’t help but note that Pansy Parkinson, Millicent Bulstrode, Vincent Crabbe, and Daphne were all sitting at a table within earshot of Professor Slughorn and Astoria’s mood deeply soured at the realization that this was a test. 

Still, Astoria thought of Draco’s veiled desperation. 

“Hello Professor!” Astoria announced cheerily. 

“Why, hello dear!” Professor Slughorn was cheery right back to the young witch. 

“I was wondering if I could have your approval to check out a book from the restricted section,” Astoria asked warmly, “I just need to do some research and owl it to my mother. I’ll have it back by the end of the week.” Astoria didn’t realize she was this good at lying or schmoozing. 

“Your mother? What could she possibly need?” Professor Slughorn asked, his excitement rising at the mention of Mrs. Greengrass. 

“A repair manual. On enchanted furniture, she was recently gifted an old family heirloom from an aunt in France, and she’s finding the repair manual rather impossible to locate.” Astoria sighed, “She said she remembered seeing it in the restricted section at Hogwarts.” Astoria sighed. 

“Do you know the title?” Professor Slughorn asked. Astoria pretended to sift around in her bag and look at a scrap of paper. 

“A Repair Manuel: Traveling Tables and other Magically Moving Furniture Charms” She pretended to read off the paper and then stuffed it back in the bag, she made sure to give the Professor her best big innocent pleading eyes. 

“Ah, yes. I can see why she’d have a tough time securing that manual. There are a lot of deadly curses, both purposefully and accidentally in that book. I believe it’s banned in the wizarding world.” Professor Slughorn glumly noted, she could sense his apprehension. 

“What do you mean?” Astoria asked curiously. 

“Well, there are lots of curses that were first introduced into that book, I believe the title is a bit misleading. It’s much less a repair manual and much more a book that describes in detail the curses one could cast on furniture to have it harm others.” Professor Slughorn warily explained and the news was spinning around in Astoria’s head. 

“That’s really a shame, my mother said her last hope before having to set the rocking chair ablaze was this book.” Astoria sighed, purposefully forcing disappointment into her voice. 

“Well, I doubt your mother could hurt a fly.” The words were deeply ironic, “Here’s what we’ll do. I’ll check the book out for you, and you can come to my office after class to do research on it.” Professor Slughorn said warmly, and Astoria nodded. This had actually worked out in her favor. 

“Tomorrow?” Astoria asked and Professor Slughorn nodded. 

“Be sure to send your mother my regards!” Professor Slughorn beamed, and Astoria nodded before getting out of the chair and walking back to Draco’s table. She noticed Daphne’s relieved expression and when she turned to look at Draco, he discreetly shook his head. Astoria quickly realized Professor Slughorn was still watching her so she walked to the transfiguration section by Draco’s table and poured over the titles. 

It might be helpful to learn a little more about transfiguring cloth into metals, she figured before reaching up and grabbing the book to check it out.


	15. Fights, Curses, and Embarrassment

“So,” Astoria sighed when Draco slid into the seat on the opposite side of the table where Astoria was working in the little red book, he’d given her to copy potions down. 

“So?” Draco was intently regarding her. 

“Did I pass?” Astoria asked, trying her best to seem unbothered and cool. 

“What?” 

“I mean that was a test, right? That’s why all your friends were listening, I don’t know what I was being tested on, but did I pass?” Astoria was happy when her tone came across just as irate and sharply as she desired. 

“It wasn’t a test.” Draco sighed, “It was…” 

“Were you trying to prove you could use me to get whatever you wanted? A book about deadly curses? What do I have to do next?” Astoria snapped. “Your homework? Do you want me to hex Harry Potter for you?” Astoria was angry, she hadn’t even realized she was angry while she was talking to Slughorn, she was too focused on selling her story. But now, facing Draco and his terribly non-existant excuses or reasons she began to feel more and more vindicated. 

Astoria knew Draco hadn’t been dating her for genuine reasons. There had to be a reason why he suddenly wanted to date her and make her eat with his friends and sent her to get a book for him from the forbidden section while all his friends watched. He was taking advantage of her obvious crush and proving to his friends that he could control her. 

“Why are you doing this to me.” Astoria demanded hatefully, her anger unbound. “I’ve never been mean to you before, I don’t deserve this!” 

“Enlighten me, what am I doing to you?” Draco sneered, his anger rising in his defense. 

“Using me! Putting me on display, proving you can control me in front of your friends! I’m not a little thing you can yank around and manipulate!” Astoria stood out of her chair so she could peer down at Draco and feel some semblance of power over him. The sound of the chair screeching against the ground caused everyone in the common room to look over at them. Draco’s gaze was pure rage and he grabbed Astoria’s wrist and tugged her down the girl’s hallway into Astoria and Gwen’s dorm room. 

“Fucking let go of me!” Astoria shrieked as soon as the door closed. “And don’t ever fucking touch me again!” 

“Let me get this straight,” Draco let go of Astoria but didn’t step away, he was so close that he didn’t need to yell to sound frightening, just simply talk in his controlled wrath. “You think I’m taking advantage of you? Using you?” Draco’s voice was poisonous. 

“Yes.” Astoria set her jaw and narrowed her eyes, sensing that she was teetering on the precipice and Draco was about to let go and send them both free falling to the other side. 

“You are the most self-centered spoiled brat I have ever met!” Draco roared, “Do you not realize that while you galivant around knocking on death eaters’ doors and eavesdropping into meetings and hanging out with mudbloods that everyone else is scrambling around trying to clean up the mess you make? You are the single most purposefully naïve person I know, if you don’t like something you just ignore it, or pretend it doesn’t exist! We are at war! Everyone else is risking it all, being careful, and serving others and you are just -fucking hell! You’re just doing whatever the fuck you please!” Draco had to pause to breathe, his chest was rising and falling at such a rate it scared Astoria. 

“Draco-“ Astoria opened her mouth to argue. 

“No.” Draco cut Astoria off fiercely. “You have no idea how much SHIT is on my plate right now!” Draco snarled at Astoria backing her into the wall. “And yet I’m still trying to make sure everyone thinks you’re just a harmless teen witch. And merlin knows why I care about you or what happens to you! But I do! So I’m just trying my best here to show people that you’re not a threat and that you’ll do what I tell you to! So that the Dark Lord doesn’t become interested in the little blood traitor!” Draco seemed less angry now and more just exhausted. 

“That’s not true! As if the Dark Lord even cares about 15-year-old girls You’re doing this all for yourself, you’re just using me to show all your friends that you can control a fucking person.” Astoria jabbed her finger into his chest. 

“I’m using you? Astoria you’re using me! You used me to make yourself feel better and to try and make yourself unmarriable right? That’s why we had sex? Because you hoped I’d go around and tell everyone that we had sex and then you could be outcast just like Daphne – and you wouldn’t have to marry a pureblood. Well fucking guess what, my mouth is shut. You’ll have to fuck someone else to get that.” Draco scorned. 

“Fuck you.” Astoria roared. 

“Hit the nail on the head didn’t I?” Draco narrowed his eyes. 

“I liked you!” Astoria exclaimed, “I’ve fucking liked you all summer long! You know that!” 

“You didn’t like me! You just liked what I could provide! How I could help you get better at potions, or how we looked to Lizzy or Ansley or how I was there when you needed after you ran away from home. As soon as I couldn’t do anything for you anymore, as soon as you were at Gwen’s and then to school you dropped me.” Draco accused. 

“Don’t act like you tried to contact me! Or you wanted to hang out with me! Just fucking control me, you haven’t actually hung out with me since we got to Hogwarts. Just lectured me and showed me off to your friends and made me get a fucking book for you from the forbidden book section! You are no better than me!” Astoria exclaimed angrily, it was hard arguing against Draco because his tall and willowy frame allowed him to tower over her in a way that made Astoria feel small in the worst possible way. 

Draco hated arguing with Astoria like this, he hated that she was crying, and it was all his fault. He hated that he could feel the anger and the hurt rolling off of her in waves, and he hated how expressive and emotive she was. He knew there was no way to have fight like these without feeling it all. 

“I’m only trying to help you.” Draco said after a deep breath, he couldn’t keep fighting like this. Despite the fight only lasting for a couple minutes Draco was emotionally exhausted, he didn’t know if he had it in him to yell. 

“I don’t need your help.” Astoria huffed, nonetheless quiet. At this remark Draco made a pained expression because he had no idea how to express how truly she actually did need his help. Should he tell her that Dolohov had brought her up at the last meeting, how Pansy Parkinson had wrote home about how the dorm rooms were separated and Astoria was on the side with the mudblood? Would that actually change anything? 

Most likely not Draco supposed, Astoria was stubborn and she’d decided that he was the villain and that he was using her. He barely had enough energy after attempting to prove that she was just a silly girl with naïve notions and little will about her, on top of everything else he had to do this year. His mission. He didn’t have it in him to convince her to also let him stick around. Emotionally and physically he was breaking, like a weak piece of fabric being pulled into too many directions he was unraveling at the seams. 

“Astoria what can I do to prove to you that I’m just trying to help you.” Draco pleaded and Astoria’s face turned into shock at his tone. It threw her off balance and she bit her lip as she looked up to Draco’s concerned and intent eyes, so gray and cold. Astoria looked down at her feet for a brief minute, and felt her resolve come into place now that she wasn’t weakened by Draco’s intense gaze. 

“I’ve already told you. I don’t need your help. Get out.” Astoria couldn’t meet Draco’s eyes, she couldn’t face his pained expression because it made her feel like she’d made the wrong decision. She knew deep down inside that she hadn’t, but it was harder to remind herself of that when she was facing it. 

Draco didn’t move. He didn’t know if he could, he had never fought with someone like this before. If he’d ever dare raise his voice at his parents or disagreed with them it was a beating, and if Crabbe or Goyle or even Zabini dared disagree with him he’d punish them until they agreed. He had never felt this unresolved or out of control before. What did it mean? What did Astoria want or expect? He had no idea. 

“Get out!” Astoria snapped at Draco, Draco rolled his eyes at the brattiness in her tone but nonetheless came to the conclusion that there would be no closure to this fight. He stalked out of the room. 

As soon as Draco was gone Astoria hurried under her covers and began sobbing. She wasn’t sure why she was so upset; she’d gotten what she wanted, she’d gotten Draco to stop bossing her around and trying to control her, but for what? She wasn’t even sure this was what she really wanted; did she want Draco to start ignoring her? Astoria realized she’d just been so upset and so angry that she wanted Draco to feel upset and angry too, she’d gotten swallowed up by the fight and had just started lashing out. She wasn’t even sure she meant any of what she’d said at all, she’d just wanted to win and hurt Draco back. 

Astoria lost track of time but eventually Gwen entered the room. 

“Astoria?” Gwen’s voice was soft and apprehensive. Astoria sat up in her bed, her duvet comforter wrapped around her, her face puffy and red. Astoria could sense the pity but also the amusement in Gwen’s expression. “what’s wrong?” She asked carefully and Astoria huffed. 

“I think I’m a bitch.” Astoria frowned rubbing her bloodshot eyes. 

“What makes you say that?” Gwen asked. 

“Ugh, okay so Draco has been doing this terrible thing where he like bosses me around and tells me what to do ever since we got back to school. And then yesterday he made me eat dinner with his friends and then he made me get him a book from the forbidden section-“ Astoria ranted. 

“Made you?” Gwen asked concerned and Astoria shook her head. 

“Told me to.” Astoria clarified, “Okay but still, and then I just got so angry so I yelled at him and then he yelled back at me and we both said mean shit and now. Ugh, I just feel so terrible.” Astoria admitted pushing her messy hair back behind her ears. 

“It sounds like he was a dick to you first and maybe you overreacted in my opinion, but if it made you that upset you’re entitled to feel that way.” Gwen sat down on Astoria and rubbed her back. 

“But I don’t even think I really felt what I was saying. I was just so angry.” Astoria sighed and Gwen hummed. 

“I would never say that Malfoy deserves an apology, ever, but if giving him one would make you feel better,” Gwen proposed, and Astoria looked up at Gwen with teary eyes. 

“Yeah, maybe.” Astoria dejected. 

“I didn’t know you and Draco were that close.” Gwen probed a couple minutes later. 

“We’re not.” Astoria denied quickly but Gwen raised an eyebrow and Astoria leaned against the headrest of her bed, attempting to think about what she said for the first time ever, she didn’t want to make Gwen upset. “I just- I mean I’ve always known him. We’re neighbors, and I know he’s a bully but he’s never been particularly mean to me.” Astoria admitted. 

“But this summer..?” Astoria got the feeling that Gwen knew more than she was letting on, Astoria wondered how so many people knew so many things about her if she never told them. Was she more transparent than she’d thought? 

“I don’t know, he was my potions tutor and he was so nice and I liked being around him. He’s different when he’s around me, and I..” Astoria paused and wondered if Gwen would understand the gravity of the situation, “I told him I was a blood traitor and he said it was okay.” Astoria explained earnestly. 

As soon as the words were out of her mouth Astoria could tell that they didn’t sit alright with Gwen, she couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was that had offended her but the two sat in heavy silence for a moment while Gwen pushed whatever she was feeling down. Astoria watched Gwen intently. 

“Listen, Astoria…” Gwen trailed off and Astoria bit her lip uncomfortably. “I’m not going to pretend like people don’t lay off Clive and me because of you, and I don’t know if that’s also because of Draco, and I’m grateful for that. But Draco’s dad is deatheater, he’s in Azkaban. I’ve never heard Draco refer to muggleborns as anything other than mudbloods.” Gwen struggled to make her point politely. “I don’t think he’s a good guy.” Gwen just said with finality and Astoria thought about it. 

Astoria was lucky Gwen didn’t tell her off for being friends with people who were against her mere existence, Astoria took a deep breath. Gwen was more important that Draco Malfoy or Lizzy and Ansley. Gwen was Astoria’s best friend, and the only person who she felt she could truly be herself around. 

“I think you’re right.” Astoria muttered morosely, she lied down in her four-poster and looked at the green fabric. 

Astoria stood outside Slughorn’s office Wednesday after class, she couldn’t stand the professor up even though she had absolutely no idea what she was going to look for in the book. When Professor Slughorn opened the door he looked overjoyed to see Astoria, in his usual old bumbling self. 

“Hello Miss Greengrass!” 

“Hello Professor.” Astoria said politely. 

Professor Slughorn motioned to welcome her into his office. At the table off by the fireplace there was the book. Astoria walked over to it and pulled out her parchment and quills and set them up neatly. Oddly, despite the fact that she’d already managed to get the Professor to give her the book she felt her nerves spike at actually copying down notes from it. 

“So, did your mother tell you what’s wrong with the rocking chair?” Professor Slughorn asked warmly. 

“Er-“ Astoria started speaking before she’d even started thinking, she was forced to pause while she came up with a valid response. “She said didn’t know, she can sense the curse though. She wanted me to- er- send her some counter curses she could try all the ones she knew before touching it.” Astoria rambled on, she wasn’t even sure if that was believable, in fact she had a suspicion that it wasn’t, but she hadn’t known what else to say. 

“Right, well let’s start with the most dangerous ones.” Professor Slughorn instructed, helping Astoria find all the deadly curses. In her neatest script, very deliberately not her usual scribbles, she copied down the counter curses. 

“I haven’t met your sister yet. I hear she’s quite gifted in Herbology and Care for Magical Creatures!” Professor Slughorn apparently didn’t like to work from silence. Astoria looked up from her notes, not taking much care with the accuracy since they weren’t for anything. 

“Daphne?” She asked caught off guard. Professor Slughorn chuckled. 

“I wasn’t aware you had any other sisters.” He mused. 

“No -er I don’t sorry. I just didn’t know she was good at Care for Magical Creatures.” Astoria admitted, wondering when the last time she talked to Daphne about classes was. Last year? The year before? Astoria realized she couldn’t list the classes Daphne was taking this year, or her grades last year, or even her favorite subject. It sat odd in her stomach. 

Astoria shouldn’t have glanced up at Slughorn at that moment because she was immediately crushed with a knowing sympathetic look. Astoria did her best not to let her mood sour at being pitied but it was hard. She had to remind herself that whatever Professor Slughorn was thinking about her right now, despite all the weird information he’d seem to have about her, was probably uninformed. Sure it was common knowledge that Astoria and Daphne were not best friends and preferred to keep their distance at school but that wasn’t uncommon amongst siblings. 

“I hear you’re aiming to be an Auror.” Professor Slughorn changed the subject gleefully. 

“I hope.” Astoria didn’t want to seem like a pathetic dreamer, but she found there was no way to prevent it when she referred to her unlikely dream. 

“You know I know quite a few Aurors, I could get you in touch with one. It’s always helpful to know what you’re getting yourself into before you commit. Although, I’m sure in the coming years they’ll be extra desperate for Aurors.” Professor Slughorn mused. 

“Yeah.” Astoria mumbled, uncomfortable. 

“You know your mother was just like you when she was a student. She was brilliant, hardworking, determined, detail orientated. You know I see that you write down all your potions as checklists in that little red notebook for yours. Absolutely marvelous!” Professor Slughorn rambled and Astoria pretended to listen as she continued to copying down pages. 

Astoria would never admit it but she found there was something almost comforting about the way that Professor Slughorn chortled on while she copied the step by step instructions for deconstructing curses on furniture. It almost felt like an existence completely separate of the rest of the world, there were no blood prejudices, plotting boys, or friends to disappoint. Just Astoria’s quill, and an old professor’s mollifying stories of past students and their achievements. 

“My goodness!” Professor Slughorn announced, abruptly changing tracks from his other story. “Look at the time! We only have a couple minutes before the end of supper! I guess you’ll have to meet here another time to keep working!” Slughorn happily announced and Astoria nodded. 

“Friday?” Astoria asked, and Slughorn nodded. Astoria swiped her things into her bag and wandered down to the Great Hall to grab a quick bite. There weren’t many students there so Astoria was able to sit in her usual spot without having to be anywhere to close to anyone else. Dinner was some sort of meat she didn’t recognize, beans and mash. Not her favorite, she picked at the beans and ate a dinner roll, before things started disappearing as Elves cleaned up. 

Astoria couldn’t place it, but she felt almost at peace. A ridiculous notion considering she was pretty sure that Gwen was a little mad at her, and that Draco hated her, and that her relationship with her mother was on the high wire and the entire world was about to break out into civil war at any minute. Yet, despite this Astoria felt centered in a way that made her feel like everything was going to be alright. 

The young witch walked slowly to the Slytherin common room, not really in a rush about anything, more in a daze from an hour of just copying words and listening to Professor Slughorn drone on and on. Astoria traced the stone walls, dragged her feet, and took her time. 

Astoria opened the portrait to the Slytherin common room and was relaxed to find it calm, and bustling in the sort of respectfully quiet way that Astoria imagined could only happen in Slytherin. People talked in low tones about others, played games of chess and exploding snap and helped each other out on homework. It was moments like these where Astoria guiltily wondered if this was what it’d be like if there was no such thing as muggleborns, if only magical people could pass on the magical gene and that was that. There’d be no group of people to hate or discriminate against, the Slytherin’s wouldn’t ever have to hold their words or turn their nose up at people. 

But that wasn’t true, Astoria sighed. There were people with magical abilities in the muggleworld who existed and who would be a danger to themselves and everyone around them if they weren’t given the education of their birth right. The education and knowledge that everyone was equally entitled too. Plus she mused, other houses didn’t seem to have a problem with them being in there with them. It was really just the old ignorant Slytherins. 

Itching to speak to Gwen about her day and make a plan to finally use the enchanted sweets on their unsuspecting housemates Astoria slowly meandered down the girl’s dormitory hall. 

“Gwen I was thinking we could see-“ Astoria stopped mid in her sentence as she saw frenzied movement in Gwen’s bed and the very distinct half naked form of Kent Hudson, a very attractive fifth year Ravenclaw. Astoria let out one singular giggle before closing the door to their dorm room. Astoria couldn’t help but let out a fit of giggles as soon as the door was closed and she was alone again. 

“Astoria?” 

“Clive!” Astoria addressed brightly as her friend approached her, his brow all scrunched up in confusion. 

“What’s up?” He asked suspiciously as Astoria leaned against the door. 

“Hmm nothing.” Astoria said with a devilish smile. 

“I was gonna go get Gwen, why are you leaning against the door like that?” 

“She’s busy-let’s just-“ Astoria started but fell backwards as someone wrenched open the door. Astoria stumbled and regained her balance before stepping away to reveal a tousled Gwen and a disheveled Kent Hudson. 

“Clive! Astoria!” Gwen exclaimed alarmed. 

“Gwen…” Clive trailed off and Astoria searched his expression. 

“Hey Hudson,” Astoria quickly interjected, remembering the fourth person who stood behind Gwen fixing his buttons which he’d apparently just noticed right now he’d done incorrectly. 

“Greengrass, Holloway,” Kent Hudson addressed Astoria and Clive. There was a long pregnant pause as everyone awkwardly regarded each other. 

“How are you gonna get him out of here?” Astoria suddenly asked, immediately as the thought occurred. 

“Same way I got him in, act like he belongs. Everyone’s too scared to look at me these days, anyway, scared they’ll catch dirty blood from eye contact.” Gwen explained smoothly. “Anyway I’ll be back in, um like ten minutes, so if you guys want to hang out then….” Gwen awkwardly trailed off and there was a terribly long uncomfortable silence before Astoria nodded. 

“Yeah, yeah that sounds great.” Astoria supplied and Gwen awkwardly nodded before leading Hudson out of the room. 

“Wow.” Clive said after a minute. “Kent Hudson.” 

“I’m sorry I know you like her-“ Astoria said, her eyebrows pulled together in concern. 

“It’s alright I-, well I told her that I thought we should slow things down and go back to just being friends.” Clive admitted, clearly kicking himself now for it. 

“Why?” Astoria puzzled. 

“I don’t know, I think I was just scared.” Clive sadly admitted.


	16. Elephants, Cornish Pasties, and Jewelweed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Super long note: 
> 
> Firstly, I'm having a blast writing this and I hope you are all enjoying reading it. I wasn't super sure how to respond to comments earlier but I think I have a better grasp now and will be responding to every comment written from here on out so if you're thinking something please type it out and let me know!! 
> 
> Secondly I know the relationship with Draco kind of seems like it's taking a weird path but I just really don't want this to be about just Draco. The story is called Astoria, and I'm hoping she's a character that can stand on her own merits who is currently facing her own challenges that are not entirely Draco centric. Also while there will be a lot of Draco (especially after the next chapter) I don't really want it to be about her only related to him if that makes sense. 
> 
> And I don't really have a thirdly other than I hope you guys had a good thanksgiving and are weathering COVID well!

Astoria couldn’t think of a time when things were awkward between Clive, Gwen and her ever. Seriously, even the first time they’d met the conversation flowed smoothly, even the morning after the second week of school when Gwen had accidentally undressed in her sleep and it took her four entire minutes of wandering around stark naked to realize, it wasn’t awkward. 

Still, as being neither party most affected by the events that had just taken place Astoria could find humor in the awkward. 

“You know I had no idea Hudson had such teeny nipples, and they’re like so far apart. Looked kinda goofy didn’t they?” Astoria brought up and grinned at Gwen’s shocked expression. 

“Astoria!” 

“Sorry, I just couldn’t help looking, he has a nice chest though, but weird nipples I think.” Astoria hummed and Gwen glared at her. “So, are you guys dating?” Astoria decided to just conquer the elephant in the room, as amusing as the awkwardness she was a little tired of it. 

“No!” Gwen seemed offended by the possibility, “I’m not dating anyone, I just was bored and he was there and I don’t know.” Gwen rambled and Astoria could tell that Gwen was talking more to Clive than her, but she didn’t mind. 

“Well, he was a cute reprieve from boredom in my opinion.” Astoria humphed and looked down in the cauldron. “Did it look like this last time?” Astoria asked looking at the bubbling mess. 

“I don’t think so,” Clive grimaced, “Did you check your little book?” He asked and Astoria ran through the checklist she’d made in the red book. 

“We definitely missed something.” Astoria sighed, “I was too focused on Hudson’s tiny nipples.” Astoria joked shaking her head. “Thank Merlin my mother packed us enough for a couple batches.” Astoria sighed. 

“Here, give the cauldron to me and I’ll dump it down the sink,” Clive mumbled picking up the smoking cauldron and leaving the room. 

“Hope he makes it to the bathroom before the thing explodes,” Astoria noted calmly. 

“I cannot believe Clive saw Kent Hudson.” Gwen murmured clearly horrified. 

“Yeah, but on the bright side I don’t think he took it that bad.” Astoria attempted to comfort her friend, but this seemed to distress Gwen even more. She aggravatedly pushed her bouncy blonde curls away from her face and huffed. 

“Honestly, I kind of wanted him to see, I mean not like that, but I wanted him to know,” Gwen looked up at Astoria guiltily, preparing for judgement. 

“What do you mean?” Astoria asked, her face betraying her perplexation. 

“It’s just that Clive has been writing me all summer and whenever we hang out, I don’t know, it’s just so clear he likes me. And I like him, and I make it so clear but when it came down to it, he just, I don’t know balked. I wanted to him to see that he can’t just keep waiting, that I won’t be around for him forever.” Gwen rushed out and Astoria could feel the guilt laced in her sad tone. 

“Well I think he knows for sure now,” Astoria admitted, “I don’t know Gwen, I’m sure it’s not the right thing to say, but I think you’re right, I think he needed the wakeup call.” Astoria’s voice was solid and sure, and Gwen smiled at her. A thought occurred to Astoria, “But honestly Kent Hudson is stupid hot, so if you can keep getting that I don’t know-“ Astoria teased with truth and Gwen chucked a pillow at her head. Astoria dodged it but nonetheless grabbed it and wacked Gwen lightly. 

“Wow, I guess girls really do have pillow fights,” Clive joked as he walked into the dormitory, with an empty cauldron. 

“You made it! I thought for sure the potion would explode in your face.” Astoria joked cheerily and Clive rolled his eyes. 

“Alright, let’s do this.” Gwen smiled deviously, her hands rubbing together. 

The three teens were carefully pouring the mixture into the molds, biting their tongues in concentration. Astoria closed the mold and cast a cooling charm on it. 

“I think…” Astoria was afraid to finish her sentence, worried about jinxing their precarious situation. 

“That’s it?” Gwen finished it, not sounding much less scared.

“I do not remember it being that tough,” Clive wiped the sweat that had beaded on his brow off. 

“Me neither.” Gwen admitted ruefully looking at their 24 sweets preparing to cool. 

“What other sweets did your mum send?” Clive asked. 

“Hmm, let me check.” Astoria got up and dug around in her poorly organized largely expanded trunk. “Ah!” She exclaimed when she miraculously found the package her mom had sent her, she dumped it on the ground unceremoniously. There were small packages with a couple candies in each. Gwen grabbed the first. 

“This one is supposed to change your voice to have different accents.” Gwen said, tossing it aside. 

“This one changes your entire face!” Clive exclaimed, “Supposed to make you look like famous people, it says.” He added reading the label. 

“This one says change your size. Do you think it means like.. you know?” Astoria joked, pretending to motion to Clive, who just rolled his eyes. 

“You have a dirty mind” Gwen shook her head and laughed. 

“Let’s mix them all up in a bowl, so people have no idea what they’re taking.” Clive deviously smirked. 

“Let’s hand them out at the common room party after the match on Saturday.” Astoria grinned, already plotting the amazing consequences. 

“We have a game on Saturday?” Gwen asked shocked. 

“You have no house pride. It’s embarrassing! The match is against Ravenclaw too, the only other team besides Gryffindor worth playing!” Astoria exclaimed in pretend shock. Clive checked the time and winced. 

“It’s almost one in the morning.” Everyone looked shocked. 

*~*~*~*

Gwen and Astoria were half asleep when they collapsed at breakfast the next morning, so exhausted they were essentially oblivious to everyone around them. Whatever bliss and happiness the girls had experienced the night before had translated into the morning a little and allowed their grogginess to be in good spirits. 

“Pumpkin juice or orange juice?” Gwen commanded, it was a game they’d picked up at her house over the summer. 

“Pumpkin, duh. You?” Astoria continued easily. 

“Hmm, Orange.” Gwen admitted. 

“Pumpkin Pastries or Cornish Pasties?” Astoria cocked an eyebrow. 

“Not comparable, pumpkin pastries are sweet, and Cornish are savory.” Gwen supplied, her mouth half full of toast.

“Both are still pasties though,” Astoria insisted. 

“Wrong. Pumpkin Pastries, Cornish Pasties. Pastry vs. Pasty. It’s different.” Gwen had swallowed her food and spoke with conviction. 

“What’s going on?” Clive asked as he slid into his chair. 

“Are pumpkin pastries and Cornish pasties comparable?” Gwen asked, sure he’d take her side. 

“You can’t compare different foods. Every food deserves to be judged by its own qualities and merits not compared to other foods that deserve to be judged by their own qualities and merits. It’s not fair.” 

“Merlin, I think that’s the worst nonanswer I’ve ever heard.” Astoria grumbled, still in good spirits. Astoria suddenly noticed that Gwen and Clive were looking above Astoria’s head at something behind her. Their expressions were tight and reserved, Astoria bit her lip nervously and turned around to see her sister standing behind her. 

“Astoria, can I have a word?” Daphne’s voice was tight and it made Astoria frown. 

“Yeah,” Astoria stacked her plates even though there was still food on them and grabbed her bag. “I’ll see you guys at D.A.D.A., yeah?” She muttered and followed Daphne out of the Great Hall in the entrance Hall. Daphne led them back to the Slytherin common room and Astoria followed wordlessly. Astoria was surprised when they ended up in her dorm room. 

“You need to be careful.” Daphne warned and Astoria rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what’s happening between you and Malfoy, but you need to fix it before you get hurt.” 

“Who’s going to hurt me?” Astoria furrowed her brows, not truly believing that anything bad was going to happen to her. 

“Astoria don’t play stupid. You know you’re on the wrong side at the moment.” Daphne said, “And the right side kills.” 

“Right so Draco’s going to kill me because we got into a fight?” Astoria rolled her eyes. 

“Astoria!” Daphne irately snapped. 

“Okay then, Draco would never kill me. So, what’s it going be? Dumbledore is going invite Dolohov over to some tea and Dolohov will sneak into my potions class and Avada me? Or maybe Bellatrix Lestrange, she’ll ride a thestral into the quidditch game this Saturday and imperius me to drown myself in the lake?” Astoria was taunting now but she needed Daphne to see how ridiculous she was being. 

“Hogwarts is not as safe as you think it is.” Daphne gritted her teeth. 

“Dumbledore, the greatest wizard of all time, is our headmaster.” Astoria supplied bewildered. “I couldn’t be safer if I was protected by Goblins.” 

“You’re in denial.” Daphne rolled her eyes, “I don’t know how you could possibly be so dense.” 

“I’m just not going to get tricked into joining some prejudiced pureblood army.” Astoria bit back. 

“Fine. Fine Astoria, merlin, kill yourself if that’s what you want. I came here to ask you for the notes you took from the book you checked out of the restricted section, and to ask you to look at the chapter regarding the vanishing cabinet.” Daphne explained uncomfortably. 

“Why?” Astoria suspiciously asked. 

“Draco said if he didn’t get it something bad would happen to his mother.” Daphne admitted, switching her weight between her feet and avoiding eye contact with Astoria. 

“How do I know you’re not lying?” Astoria crossed her arms against her chest and looked at Daphne, “Also since when did taking care of Mrs. Malfoy become our problem?” Astoria added on nastily. 

“She’s Draco’s mother.” Daphne shook her head incredulously. 

“And? Mr. Malfoy chose to be a death eater, last I checked any sort of repercussions of that fall on him, not me.” 

“Merlin you are so self-centered!” Daphne rose her voice. 

“I’m not!” Astoria shrieked, “I’m not being self-centered. And I’m not an idiot either, I know how counter curses can be used, they’re roadmaps to recreate the curse. And do you understand what some of those curses do?” She was incredulous, “They rip people apart, splinch them on purpose, curse them so their body turns into stone, makes them so sick they vomit up their own guts!” Astoria listed. “It’s in the restricted section for a reason.” Astoria had final calmed down. 

“They just want your notes.” Daphne said deathly calm. 

“Yeah, for some light reading I’m sure.” Astoria rolled her eyes. “I have to get to class.” Astoria grumbled, waiting for her sister to leave the room. As soon as she was gone Astoria darted to the papers and cast some protection spells on them before storing them under her mattress. Astoria was for sure going to be late to D.A.D.A. 

**~**~** 

It was a weird sensation, but Astoria found herself looking forward to the meeting the potions master in his office again on Friday. She craved something about the meditativeness of it all, needing the feeling of utter relaxation she felt after the last time. Especially because of Gwen’s constant nerves about Clive and Kent Hudson. It started when Hudson attempted to meet Gwen’s eyes at breakfast the next morning and instead caught Clive’s deadly gaze. 

And then it escalated, they gruffly bumped into each other in the hall Thursday afternoon, jumped at the opportunity to duel each other in D.A.D.A on Friday morning and shared a brief altercation of words in a low voice that ended with anger after lunch. Gwen was frustrated. 

“I just don’t get it, I mean this is really how he wants to go about it?” Gwen exclaimed frustratedly. “I mean, am I crazy? I told him if he didn’t want me getting with other people to make a move already, and instead of making a move he’s going after all the people I get with? It’s bloody ridiculous!” 

“That’s probably less scary than asking you out?” Astoria attempted to comfort the angry witch but it was helpless. 

“How? I told him I liked him, and we’ve been mates for ages.” Gwen wrung her hands out. 

“Maybe that’s what’s scary? He doesn’t want to ruin the friendship?” Astoria guessed. Gwen’s eyes narrowed and she huffed, running the possibility over in her head. After one final deep breath Gwen turned to look to Astoria. 

“I’m going to talk to him. I’ll see you after supper.” Gwen said determined to get what she wanted. Astoria nodded. 

“I’ve got a meeting with Slughorn so, might be late.” Astoria reminded Gwen. 

“Right. Right. All the better, I have the feeling this talk might last ages.” Gwen admitted, Astoria silently added in her head that having their dorm all to themselves would likely be good. They split ways as Astoria headed to the potion masters’ office. 

“Hello Professor!” 

“Hello Mrs. Greengrass!” Professor Slughorn was in an incredibly good mood this afternoon, “You would not believe who I talked to!” He added. 

“Who?” Astoria didn’t even attempt to guess, she figured the old man wouldn’t mind. 

“Your darling sister! Daphne told me your mother had been testing out some theories, she said she didn’t want to step on your toes, but that apparently things have been disappearing around the chair, first the afghan rug and then a throw pillow she placed on top! Is that true?” Slughorn raised his eyebrows and a goofy sort of curious way only old men could do. 

Little did he know that Daphne had just tricked them in fulfilling out the Dark lords’ wishes. 

“Yes, I mean that’s what my mother said.” Astoria lied. 

“Well, that’s actually great news, it likely shares some of the properties of a vanishing cabinet! It’s a good thing your mother didn’t chose to sit on it, vanishing cabinets are quite finnicky and I don’t even want to think about what it would look like in chair form. You see, vanishing cabinets frequently lose their occupants, they were famous around the first wizarding world, better I imagine taking the risk and possibly get lost forever then face certain torture and death by the Dark Lord.” Slughorn rattled on. He kept going while he retrieved the book and handed it to Astoria. She listened patiently while she regretfully thumbed to the chapter on vanishing or transporting people and items. 

“I just finished grading your paper on the additional possible effects of jewelweed in skelegrow and while it is simply all theory that must be tested out, I must say, there’s quite a bit of sound logic there. If you have time next week to test it out I’d love to.” Slughorn chortled on but Astoria’s ears perked up. 

“Really?” Astoria asked, “I was actually inspired because I broke my ankle earlier this summer and there was quite a bit of bruising and I know when ingested jewelweed can help with swelling and bruising.” Clearly something about the professors rambling nature had rubbed off on Astoria, she bit her lip nervously but and eagerly awaited the professor’s response. 

“That must’ve truly been a nasty break, but yes. Yes, I could see there was some good real world applicable thinking there. I’m concerned about the way it’d effect the cooking temperature, but definitely still a good thought.” Slughorn admitted. 

“See, I thought the same thing too, right? Because jewelweed typically rises the temperature significantly because of its flammable nature but I was thinking if we slightly increased the other ingredients present it might counteract the evaporation proponents and we’ll have to cook it at a slightly lower temperature.” Astoria rushed out in one breath. 

“Yes yes, it’ll be hard to predict the new ratio of ingredients.” Astoria could see that Slughorn was still thinking about it, “Nonetheless a worthy endeavor.” He stated and Astoria was nearly growing. She had the distinct urge to tell her mother, confident she’d be proud of her. “Anyway dear, you ought to start writing the notes, if you finish the chapter today, I bet your mother will be able to fix the cursed chair by Monday.” Slughorn exclaimed warmly. 

Astoria felt the worst sinking feeling in the world settle in her stomach but nonetheless settled down to copy the extensive details about removing the curses from cabinets. She wondered what Lord Voldemort planned on doing with this information, maybe he’d use it to transport muggles into volcanoes to kill them. Astoria winced as she cemented the role she was clearly supposed to play into genocide. 

“So how’d you break your ankle?” Slughorn asked and Astoria realized it’d been uncharacteristically quiet for the last couple minutes. 

“I was flying home, forgot we had wards.” Astoria said gruffly and Slughorn raised his eyebrows. 

“Ah, yes. You’re neighbors with the Malfoys. I knew Lucius when he was a boy, he was driven but I never thought he’d be so.. closeminded I suppose.” Slughorn admitted. 

“It’s unfortunate.” Astoria treaded carefully, taking Slughorn’s lead and choosing her words carefully. 

“Yes. It certainly is. I fear Draco Malfoy is falling down the same path,” Slughorn watched Astoria’s reaction carefully, she felt as if suddenly he was fishing for something and it made Astoria want to close off even more. 

“I don’t think he’d cast an unforgivable at the ministry.” Astoria snapped defensively, “He’s just a boy.” She added, not quite sure of what she meant by that. Slughorn furrowed his brow and regarded Astoria with something akin to pity. 

“That’s good, it’s always sad when parents set poor examples for their children, though I’d imagine a lot of children outperform their parents.” Astoria couldn’t tell if that was some bite about her mother or not so she simply nodded and looked back down at the book and copied the notes. 

Thankfully at some point Slughorn had begun rambling on about wizards in Persia and their particular affinity to dark magic, and the ways they’d managed to ward of the inevitable effects. Astoria only half listened, soaking up the comforting tones and relaxing atmosphere of his office. She didn’t check the time but was unsurprised to find she missed dinner completely. 

“It’s alright I’ll just grab some food from the kitchens on my way to the common room.” Astoria comforted Professor Slughorn casually when he expressed concern over her missing dinner. 

“I didn’t think students were supposed to know about the kitchens.” Professor Slughorn admitted pretending to feign suspicion. 

“I don’t think they’re necessarily forbidden though..” Astoria grinned devilishly before strolling out of his office and down the kitchens.


	17. Turquoise Sweaters, Seekers and Pet Detectives

“That is not house spirit.” Astoria scrunched up her face looking at Gwen up and down. “Did Kent Hudson turn you into a Ravenclaw? I mean seriously that sweater is just as much blue as it is green.” Astoria frowned regarding her roommate’s blue jeans and turquoise sweater. 

“I’m sorry I just haven’t been feeling a lot of love for Slytherin lately.” Gwen shrugged. 

“What?” Astoria exclaimed. 

“I mean why would I love something that clearly doesn’t love me back.” The way Gwen said that was so casual but Astoria couldn’t help but feel her entire stomach twist. Gwen wasn’t wrong but it didn’t mean that something like rejecting house pride wasn’t devastating. Astoria herself was wearing every single piece of causal Slytherin clothes she owned, her green and silver sweater, her silver mittens and green hat and scarf. The only thing not Slytherin were her loose black jeans but that was just because Astoria found all the crazy green pants kind of tacky. 

Astoria suddenly felt a little less confident in her attire but she didn’t let it show, she hadn’t missed a match since her first year, or donned anything less patriotic than all green and she didn’t plan on changing that now. Gwen and Astoria met Clive before heading down to breakfast. 

Immediately Astoria sensed it. She had noticed that Gwen was uncharacteristically quiet last night but brushed it off as her being tired, Astoria figured that if something bad had happened when Gwen had spoken to Clive last night, she would’ve said something. In the current moment however, Astoria felt stupid for feeling that way because clearly something had happened last night, something significant because for the second time ever the awkwardness was insurmountable between the trio. 

“So.. Clive.. I see you’re not exactly wearing green either today.” Astoria glumly pointed out. 

“Yeah, I guess I lost some house pride this year.” His tone was gruff in a way Astoria had never heard him use with them, the way he looked at Gwen made Astoria think that Gwen must’ve kicked his puppy or something. It was terrible. 

“Yeah, Gwen too.” Astoria mumbled. 

Breakfast was torture, Astoria almost wished they weren’t trying to be around each other right now. It would’ve been more barrable if one of them had made an excuse to leave or something, but it seemed to be like some sort of competition as if being in each other’s presence proved they were utterly indifferent to each other’s presence. Too bad they were sharing deadly glares and refusing to speak to each other. 

Typically, Astoria would consider herself a great conversationalist, she could talk about anything for an endless amount of time. And though most would probably require a higher level of tact to consider themselves a good conversationalist Astoria was satisfied with filling the silence. However even now, Astoria couldn’t fill this silence, it was too heavy and purposeful, so instead she resorted to picking apart a pumpkin nut muffin. 

They trudged out to the pitch, shivering from the cold. 

“I wish I’d brought a jacket.” Astoria grumbled, forgetting about the silence thing. 

“Just cast a charm,” Gwen mumbled, and Astoria almost kicked herself. She quietly cast a warming charm and looked at the others expectantly, waiting for them to ask. 

“I’m alright.” Gwen huffed at the same time as Clive said, “It’s not that cold.” Astoria rolled her eyes but nonetheless walked with them to the pitch. They seemed intent on suffering. 

The group sat further in the back in the stands, something Astoria couldn’t help but notice. In past years they would sit in the thick of the crowd and Astoria would prep the two and any other eavesdroppers around them, typically first years. Astoria liked to map out the players on each team, their strengths and weaknesses, and how the match had gone last year, and the talk always ended with a prediction that Slytherin would win, a prediction that would usually come true unless it was against Gryffindor. This year however the trio sat far away from the dense clump of Slytherins and people avoided sitting next to them, an easy two meters of space awarded in any direction. 

Astoria’s next realization was that even if she’d wanted to prep her two friends, she was unable. She’d heard no gossip during meal times, she’d spoken to no players on either team. In fact, she couldn’t think of a single casual conversation she’d had with any Slytherins since the start of term. Sandwiched between her two feuding friends Astoria felt a thick sour mood settle. 

It worsened when Harper flew out in the seeker position. Astoria hated Harper, he was utter rubbish at Quidditch even though he liked to claim he could fly just as good as Malfoy. Not only was Harper’s head so inflated Astoria feared a good hit by a bludger would pop it, he was also the rudest person she’d ever met in her entire life, the fact he’d taken over Draco’s spot was a double hit. 

“Where’s Malfoy?” Gwen asked biting the inside of her cheek. 

“I don’t know, but Harper’s terrible and I don’t reckon we’ll win.” Astoria frowned and she could feel both Clive and Gwen share a glance. The rest of the match went in silence. 

By some grace of god Harper caught the snitch, the Slytherins in the common room would describe the grab as heroic and focused, the result of only a well-trained seeker but the rest of Hogwarts saw it for what it was. A happy accident, while fleeing from a bludger that the Slytherin beaters seemed to be entirely blind of, Harper accidentally flew into the snitch. He had to circle back twice before he grabbed it and the only reason Cho Chang wasn’t able to get there in time (despite the fact it seemed to take Harper ages to finally catch the stupid thing) was because the last time it’d been sighted was across the pitch and Cho Chang was acting on the fair assumption to not give any credit to moves made by Harper. All things considered the Slytherins had no chance for their match against Hufflepuff next month, let alone the big one against Gryffindor. 

Gwen and Clive got up, but Astoria stayed seated, watching many of the Slytherins who were being rowdy down at the bottom of the stands. 

“Astoria?” Gwen asked looking back at the young witch. 

“I’ll just be a minute, meet you guys at our dorm?” Astoria asked, hoping they’d just go. 

“Right. Okay, see you.” Clive said this time, nodding and walking uncomfortably next to Gwen. The two stood too straight, like they were scared that any minute they might fall into each other and start actually having a good time. 

As soon as her best friends were gone Astoria started doing calculations in her head, which Slytherin would be most likely to know about Draco and be nice to her? Mulciber, Knott, Parkinson, and her older sister Daphne were out of the question, they all hated her. Astoria’s eyes fell on Zabini, there was a good chance he hated her as well but at least he was a bit of a schmooze and might find it entertaining that Astoria was curious about Draco’s whereabouts. 

“Blaise!” Astoria called out, carefully navigating the stands so she was close to Blaise Zabini. Astoria bit her lip nervously, well aware of the pure number of eyes that had fallen on them. 

“Wow, Astoria Greengrass. Surprised you could grace us with your presence today.” The words were harsh but spoken with nothing less than a sickly sweet cadence. Astoria noticed that they were meant just as much for the eavesdropping crowd as they were for her. 

“I would never miss a Slytherin match.” Astoria defended herself. 

“Right, just couldn’t be bothered to sit with your housemates.” Zabini quipped back. 

“I didn’t realize my housemates would want to sit with me.” Astoria fired back crossing her hands across her chest angrily and falling away from the point. 

“You, we have no problem with.” Zabini shrugged. 

“Yeah well Gwen, Clive and I come together.” Astoria snapped back narrowing her eyes at the boy who she used to have a crush on. She realized now that if she’d spent more than half a second thinking about her choice, she would’ve realized it was a bad one. Zabini wouldn’t be caught dead being truly friendly to a blood traitor like her and confronting him right now in front of a quarter of all the Slytherins was possibly the biggest mistake of all. “Can we talk in private.” Astoria asked quickly before thinking about the consequences of that. 

“Sure,” Zabini said after a long pause, not sound sure at all. He had, in fact, thought it through and had a good idea of how many rumors would be started after this and just how bad those rumors would look on him. He was, however, more curious about why the young blood traitor needed to talk to him. 

They walked down and stood behind the quidditch stands, and even worse location considered just how many people had snogged in the exact spot. 

“So, what do you want,” Zabini asked suspiciously. 

“Why didn’t Draco play seeker today?” Astoria rushed out, “If he was sick he could’ve asked to delay the match.” Astoria added quickly. Zabini shook his head knowingly and let out a quick abrupt laugh. 

“Are you worried about him?” Zabini asked condescendingly. 

“I’m worried about our team, there’s no way we’ll win against Hufflepuff without him.” Astoria defended herself crossing her arms against her chest in her signature closed off stance. Zabini saw right through it. 

“And you needed to pull me aside and talk to me private about it?” 

“No- I just.. I mean what if it was something embarrassing and you didn’t want to say it in front of all those people?” Astoria knew it was a terrible excuse the minute it came out of her mouth but it was clearly the best she could do on the spot. 

“And he’d want you to know?” Zabini challenged. Astoria felt her temper rise, this is what she got for attempting to talk to anyone in Slytherin or even caring one iota about Draco. 

“Never mind.” Astoria snapped turning on her heel. 

“Wait,” Zabini grabbed Astoria’s arm roughly. She looked distastefully at where Zabini was holding on. “Draco told Urquhart that he had suddenly come down with something, but he’s been harping on for weeks about how he has more important things than schoolwork and quidditch. He hasn’t been to more than half the practices since start of term and before the match I saw him wandering around the sixth floor all alone.” Zabini looked a little nervous divulging that much information. Astoria opened her mouth to speak on the matter but Zabini interrupted her. “Look I’m only telling you because something’s up, and no matter how terrible you are to Draco he clearly cares about you.” 

“I’m not terrible to him!” Astoria exclaimed, missing most of the point. Zabini snorted one last time and rolled his eyes before he turned and left Astoria standing under the stands her mind racing. Was she really terrible to Draco Malfoy? 

Daphne intercepted her path on the way back to the castle, and by the time Astoria had started to make her way there the path was empty, meaning Daphne had waited in order to speak to her. 

“What did you say to Zabini?” Daphne demanded immediately. 

“I just asked him why Draco didn’t play.” Astoria explained truthfully. 

“Oh. Well, did you get the notes on the vanishing cabinet?” Astoria had sped up, but Daphne’s long legs had no problem matching her pace. 

“Yeah, clever trick.” Astoria huffed resentfully, referring to how she’d essentially forced her to research the vanishing cabinet, “Doesn’t matter though, I’m not giving them to you.” Astoria narrowed her eyes but kept them trained on the ground. 

“We don’t need you to give them to us.” Daphne vaguely chirped and turned off down a different path, one that suspiciously led to the greenhouses instead of the Entrance Hall. Astoria didn’t give it that much thought though, much more preoccupied by whatever Daphne meant by “we don’t need you to give them to us”. Astoria felt decidedly safe enough with the protection charms she’d placed on the notes, accio was impossible. 

Gwen was crying in their dorms, under the covers. Astoria could tell it was her frustrated or angry cry by how the sobs sounded, Gwen got like that when she felt like she got unfair marks or when people called her a mudblood. Gwen was typically the most snappy during this crying. Astoria wondered what on earth Clive could’ve done. 

“Gwen?” Astoria started carefully, Gwen sat up indignantly with bloodshot eyes and a swollen face. 

“Clive thinks I purposefully hooked up with Kent Hudson to get back at him.” Gwen cried out, Astoria could hear the anger in her sadness. 

“Why?” Astoria asked concerned, sitting on Gwen’s bed. 

“Because I told him I did,” Gwen sobbed out and collapsed back in her bed. Astoria pulled kicked her trainers off and sat back in the bed next to Gwen who shook with every loud sob. 

“Gwen, why would you tell him that,” Astoria asked softly. Gwen sat up again so she could look at Astoria while she spoke. Gwen angrily pushed her extra messy blonde hair out of her face and sniffled furiously. 

“He was being.. bloody awful!” Gwen shrieked, “I mean not really but, I confronted him and told him that if he was scared about ruining our friendship that clearly our friendship was on a path to destruction without us dating.” Gwen took a break to wipe the snot off her face, “And then he said that was only because I had to lower my standards hook up with a tool like Kent Hudson, and then I just go so mad because why’d he have to say that I lowered my standards! Like I was some desperate slag or something, Kent Hudson is hot, and he fell into my lap and nothing was stopping me from saying no!” Gwen exclaimed falling completely off the point. 

“No totally, Kent Hudson is dreamy.” Astoria consoled Gwen, “Clive is a downright dick for saying that.” 

“Exactly! So then I said I wouldn’t have had to hook up with Kent Hudson if Clive had just grown a pair-“ 

“Shit Gwen,” Astoria interrupted her accidentally, suddenly understanding the ramifications of what had occurred. 

“I know.” Gwen admitted glumly “But anyway, so then he demanded to know if I’d just hooked up with Kent to get back at him and I couldn’t say no because, I dunno I think a small part of me did and then Clive called me a manipulative bitch and I called him a cowardly cunt and then ugh.” Gwen rubbed her face. 

“Gwen I’m so sorry.” Astoria murmured. 

“I’m sorry too, I’m sorry for me and I’m sorry for him. Why are we being so terrible to each other? I thought we liked each other?” Gwen cried, “I don’t understand it but when he’s mad at me I just get so defensive and I just I say all the wrong things.” Gwen added out, retreating back under her duvet to cry. Astoria had no idea what to say to that so she simply let it stand and let Gwen cry for a little bit. 

“I guess we’ll have to do the trick candy next time there’s a party in the common room.” Astoria sighed finally breaking the silence, looking at the giant cauldron full of trick candy. 

“Oh Astoria, I’m sorry.” Gwen said solemnly and Astoria shook her head. 

“I didn’t mean it like that and it’s not your fault so don’t be sorry, we’ll just do it next weekend. I’m pretty sure it’s someone’s birthday, I heard Lizzy and Ansley talking about it.” Astoria said firmly, part of her wanted to go check on Clive but a bigger part of her knew that he had Ellery there and if she left Gwen would have no one. 

“Are you going to still go to the party?” Gwen asked carefully. 

“Are you?” Astoria asked and Gwen furiously shook her head.

“I look horrible and I just don’t really feel like dealing with all the prejudiced purebloods tonight.” Gwen huffed and a small smile rose on Astoria’s face. 

“The PP’s” Astoria giggled, and Gwen rolled her eyes at the nickname they’d have for all the purists in Slytherin. The immature joke had gotten old by halfway through second year. “Anyway if you’re not going I’m not, it could never be fun without you.” Astoria chirped and she slid out of Gwen’s bed and began derobing into pajamas. 

“What are you doing? It’s only four!” Gwen exclaimed as Astoria put on her soft pajama shorts and a tank top. 

“Getting ready for an evening of fun of course!” Astoria exclaimed, grabbing all the snacks she could possibly find from her trunk and throwing them on her bedside table. Gwen bit her lip hesitantly. 

“Astoria, I was going to try and save this for a special occasion but…” Gwen meandered out of bed and sifted through her trunk to pull out some packages. 

“It’s a battery powered projector. My dad jerry-rigged it for us, we’ll have to ask a professor to recharge it for us, but I reckon we at least have a couple hours for it.” Gwen grinned and Astoria’s mouth dropped. 

“I brought all my favorite DVDs.” Gwen grinned. “I’m thinking we start with “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective”” Gwen grinned. 

Astoria had a cramp from laughing too much, and now felt fully filled in on American Football culture from Gwen who frequently paused to explain things, without Astoria even having to ask. They were ten minutes from Credits when Lizzy suddenly busted in, the young witch looked shocked that the door had even opened for her. Lizzy stared judgementally at the two teens watching something projected onto a bed sheet glued to the wall. 

“What is that?” Lizzy sneered. 

“What are you doing in here?” Astoria demanded leaping out of Gwen’s bed. 

“Just got the rooms confused,” Lizzy deflected, her sneer never leaving her face as she stepped out. 

“That was odd, we’ve been here for a month, you’d think she’d know the split dorm room situation by now.” Gwen said furrowing her brow, but otherwise not seeming too entirely concerned with the events. 

“Honestly,” Astoria said, suddenly feeling the need to go and check that her notes were safely wedged under her mattress, but she refrained, not wanting Gwen to know what she’d recorded. The two witches settled back in and fell asleep at an early hour, perfect for the insane amount of homework they had due the next day.


	18. Ingredient Cards, Halter Tops, and Couches

The only way Astoria could describe the week so far was horrid. Clive had taken Astoria staying in their dorm room as Astoria taking Gwen’s side even though Astoria hadn’t taken anyone’s side and was simply concerned about her best friends and their inability to maturely communicate with each other. It felt bizarre, she was typically used to being the one in control of the problem, either by causing it or being upset about it. It was odd to be a bystander, effected but unable to really change her friends decisions, she decided she didn’t like it. A small part of her felt guilty for all the other people whom she’d put in this position, frequently, she realized. 

What made it worse was how now there was a rumor, undoubtedly started by Zabini with the combined information that Draco was not speaking to Astoria but Astoria cared about him and that neither had officially called quits on the relationship that had visibly only lasted two days. Zabini had told everyone that Draco had told Astoria to either drop her muggleborns friends or they were over, naturally this wasn’t close to the truth but it didn’t matter. Astoria could feel the interest from people in her house, people who should know better since they’d only witnessed Astoria and Draco be chummy twice in the past month. Astoria assumed it just made for more interesting gossip. 

At some point the rumor had made it outside Slytherin, a true feat since Slytherin was the most insular house in Hogwarts and gossip about two Slytherins almost never made it out of Slytherin. Astoria had caught the youngest Weasley staring at her in the Library Wednesday night and Astoria could feel the combined pity and judgement. It was infuriating. 

Naturally Gwen wasn’t taking it that well, to add this fake scrutiny on top of the turbulous events with Clive, Gwen had never felt more alone in her entire life. Astoria didn’t know how to fix it this whole thing and that made Astoria frustrated with helplessness. 

Thursday afternoon before Astoria stopped by Slughorn’s for their meeting, she managed to corner Clive. He had crossed his arms stand offishly before she could even open her mouth. 

“Whatever you’re gonna say Astoria, it doesn’t matter.” Clive snapped and Astoria narrowed her eyes. 

“Clive you’re my best friend,” Astoria started frustrated. 

“I thought Gwen was your best friend.” 

“You’re both my best friend,” Astoria resisted telling him to stop acting like a twelve year old, but the knowledge that anything she said now ultimately effected Gwen the most made Astoria reign it in. She could suck it up and deal with whatever Clive tossed at her if it meant her friends could be friends again. That’s what counted. 

“Doesn’t seem like that.” Clive huffed and Astoria bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from snapping, she had thought this conversation through, planned the most important points. 

“Because you stopped talking to me. You were the one who decided that I was on Gwen’s side, not me. I love you guys, both, and that’s how I know that you guys both love each other, and that this fight is all just a misunderstanding over hurt feelings.” Astoria spewed, happy to get all her main arguments out. 

Clive rolled his eyes because he had nothing to say to that, so Astoria took the opportunity to keep talking. 

“You know Gwen, you know she’s not manipulative and that she acted the way she did because she was hurt, and Gwen knows that you’re not a coward, that you were just reserved because this is a big scary decision and it has more ramifications than a normal relationship. And I know you know that she knows that-“ 

“What?” 

“Oh c’mom, you guys are both being stubborn!” Astoria finally allowed a little bit of her frustration into her voice. “If you both truly hated each other and thought those terrible things about each other, you wouldn’t be so miserable right now. All I’m saying is that for the sake of the only sane people in our entire house, you guys need to hash it out.” Astoria huffed with finality. “I have to go see Slughorn now, but I’m begging.” And on that Astoria turned on her heel, feeling pretty proud of herself. 

Slughorn’s was not the relaxing note copying she had become accustomed too, instead it was stacks and stacks of cards .

“On these cards,” Slughorn held blue parchment up, “You write the ingredient ratio and preparation you plan on trying,” He grabbed a yellow piece of parchment and stabled it to the blue one, “The yellow paper has a temperature on it, I’ve given it a range of 10 degrees Celsius in both directions. Every ingredient and preparation alteration has to be tried at every temperature in the increment. We’ll start with the ratios and preparations we think are best and work from there.” Slughorn instructed. 

“All of this today?” Astoria asked bewildered. 

“No today we’ll be lucky to estimate and record the first three alterations.” Slughorn admitted and Astoria scrunched her face up, this was not panning out to the be the fun experimenting she had been hoping for. 

It felt reminiscent of Draco’s little red book, writing out the steps in checklist format and Astoria secretly wondered if Slughorn was assembling that on purpose, but she pushed it down. If they were to find the best way to recreate skelegrow, a potion used by every witch and wizard on the planet they’d have to be thorough and be able to justify their research. 

Still it was complicated math and for the first thirty minutes, it was just going over the equation for the ratio, every time Astoria thought she’d calculated the right number of scarab beatles the amount of chomping cabbage would get weirder, and Slughorn would tell her the math was wrong and to check it again. He’d gotten through one stack of the variations of temperature when it was time for her to go. 

“Don’t get discouraged! We’re making progress!” Slughorn chortled as Astoria bid him goodbye, it didn’t feel like progress she thought glumly, but nonetheless made plans to see him on Monday. 

There was still thirty minutes left of dinner but almost everyone was gone from the Slytherin table and Astoria couldn’t help but wonder if something was happening in the common room right now, like a secretly scheduled duel or Wizard chess match. Her heart sullied at that, games between her and seventh years used to call people away from dinner early, but this year she hadn’t played a single match. 

“Hullo,” Draco’s voice was unnervingly sing songy and Astoria narrowed her eyes as she regarded him. He looked sick, which made his fake peppy mood all the more unnerving. His hands had a slight shake to them as he held the pitcher of pumpkin juice and it made Astoria nervous. His skin was so pale she thought he looked more like a corpse than a boy, and his bags were so dark and deep one could almost confuse them with black eyes. Astoria was amazed by how much worse he looked every time she saw him. 

“What are you doing?” Astoria asked, she wanted it to sound more abrasive but by the way he was looking she couldn’t muster it. It was too hard. 

“Sitting here, my friends aren’t here, your friends aren’t here, figured it was better than eating alone.” Draco’s happy chirp couldn’t even make it through the end of the sentence and it was jarring. 

“Right.” Astoria said and she found that no matter how angry she was at Draco for being a purist controlling git, his current state was too curious to push him away. “So, are you having trouble sleeping?” Astoria asked bluntly.

“-w-what?” Draco looked caught off-guard. 

“You just look tired, is all.” Astoria shrugged pushing the food she’d gathered in her plate around awkwardly. 

“Yeah, just a bit stressed, I guess.” Draco mumbled. 

“School?” Astoria narrowed her eyes and looked up at the plate and deep into Draco’s eyes as if she could peer into his soul and force him to tell the truth. 

Draco just shrugged. 

“Have you heard? You told me I needed to drop all my muggleborns friends if we’re to continue dating.” Astoria glumly hummed. 

“Funny, I don’t remember saying exactly that.” Draco said, the smallest smile gracing his face. 

“Well, if you need a refresher, I’ve heard Lizzy has got the whole thing down, with very compelling dialogue and enthralling commentary.” Astoria deadpanned. 

“Well, I’m glad the whole school knows we’re dating at least.” Draco said, his tone betraying a small truth. 

“But for how much longer?” Astoria shrugged, clearly teasing. A short silence fell over the two eating dinner, and Astoria finally ate a significant portion of her meal. She watched Draco eat while she ate, how small the bites he took were, how perfect his manners were. Something about him, the way he dressed and the way he was, didn’t match with the rowdy chaotic manor of Hogwarts. He seemed out of place amongst the vandalized long worn brown tables, under the disorganized floating candles in the magically juvenile school. 

He wasn’t sterile, Astoria decided, carefully cataloguing his sharp, angular face and graceful, albeit slightly malnourished body. Draco wasn’t exactly cold either, Astoria added, just, dark maybe? Aware? Astoria couldn’t figure it out, she couldn’t understand why Draco looked like a picture someone had cut out and placed in a background that didn’t match. Why it seemed like the light didn’t fall on him the same way it fell on everyone else in Hogwarts, why he seemed more like a transplant than homegrown in the castle he’d spent just as much time in as anyone else, in the world he was supposed to own through connections and wealth. 

“Merlin, stop staring at me like that, it’s creeping me out.” Draco huffed after Astoria had stared deeply at him for minutes. 

“Sorry,” Astoria rushed out, embarrassed. 

“You didn’t show up to the after party for the Slytherin-Ravenclaw match.” Draco mentioned casually. 

“You didn’t even play.” Astoria snapped back, a little too aggressively. Draco rolled his eyes and shook his head. 

“Zabini told me you were concerned.” Draco leaned in a little, challenging Astoria to deny it. 

“I was.” Astoria haughtily sighed, “We almost lost, and we’re going to lose against Gryffindor for sure, maybe even Hufflepuff. Harper’s the worst.” 

“So, it was just concern for the Slytherin Quidditch team then,” Draco knowingly smiled. 

“Don’t act like that,” Astoria snapped, “You know I take Quidditch very seriously.” 

“Right,” Draco smiled a little bigger, teasing Astoria. 

“So, are you celebrating Parkinsons birthday this weekend with all the other Slytherins?” Draco leaned forward crossing his arms. 

“I dunno, depends.” Astoria shrugged, trying to make her indecision seem cool. 

“Depends on what?” Draco furrowed his brows in good natured inquisition. Astoria paused and considered her potentially cool and uppity demeanor before abandoning the idea at the possibility of having someone to talk about her best friends too. 

“Gwen and Clive are fighting so it’s kinda tough to have fun around them,” Astoria sighed and Draco nodded. 

“They have seemed a little sadder lately.” Draco admitted, and Astoria was surprised he’d noticed anything about them. 

“They’re crazy for each other but of course they have to make it as complicated as possible so now they’re fighting and they hate each other.” Astoria groaned. “It’s the bloody worst. Not only does all of Slytherin hate us but now apparently, we hate each other. They’re just so difficult!” Astoria complained and Draco had a glib all-knowing smile. 

“Difficult people are the bloody worst, aren’t they?” Draco teased and Astoria glared at him. 

“I’m not difficult.” Astoria huffed. 

“Right.” Draco grinned saracastically and Astoria rolled her eyes. 

“Anyway, Slughorn asked me about you.” Astoria mentioned and Draco’s demeanor changed, his body stiffened again. 

“What’d he ask?” 

“Why your grades are so ruddy terrible.” Astoria quipped and leaned in. “So why are they?” 

“I’ve been busy.” Draco grumbled defensively, in this posture Astoria was reminded of how terrible he looked, how sleep deprived and exhausted his face was. 

“Hm,” Astoria hummed, surprising herself when she decided to let it go. 

“How’s your mother?” Draco had changed the subject abruptly but still managed to ask the question delicately. 

“Alright actually, she sent me some sweets the other day.” Astoria mumbled. 

“I saw, that’s good right?” Draco asked and Astoria felt Draco’s cold grey eyes watching her carefully. 

“Yeah, I think. I don’t know.” Astoria admitted, “I actually haven’t given the whole thing much thought, it’s easy to pretend home doesn’t exist at school.” 

“Your mother loves you more than anything, you know that right?” Draco suddenly spewed in an uncharacteristically empathetic and caring tone. “You’re lucky to have her.” He said deeply and Astoria looked at him vacantly. 

“Yeah.” She mumbled and turned her head to watch further down the table where elves where vanishing dishes, as dinner was about to end. 

“Let me walk you to the common room tonight.” Draco offered and Astoria nodded. They walked in silence and Astoria couldn’t help but categorize every movement of Draco. His hand wasn’t in the small of her back like it had been at the Three Broomsticks, still she found something about the way he purposefully walked just the smallest bit slower than her, so that he was walking with as close as possible to her in the same tone. His right shoulder was just behind her, and occasionally it was so close she swore they touched. 

It amazed Astoria how possessive Draco could feel without actually touching her, and it scared her how much she secretly liked it.

Astoria didn’t see Gwen until breakfast the next morning, and she had to pause to truly take in the sight of her two best friends sitting next to each other. When she got closer, she could feel the awkwardness and the tension. 

“Are we all friends again?” Astoria asked as she slid in across from them, searching their demeanors for any sort of hint. 

“Yeah.” Gwen said a little too quickly, and Astoria nodded slowly, looking at Clive. He seemed in agreement, though also a little uncomfortable. 

“Nice.” Astoria awkwardly, still nodding for some reason. She reached for a soft boiled egg and a piece of buttered toast. “Tomorrow night is Pansy’s birthday party, I’m thinking we should dish out the sweets then,” Astoria changed the subject and felt her chest warm a little when she noticed Gwen and Clive subconsciously relax and lean in, to whisper about their mischievous plans regarding the enchanted sweets. 

“Astoria, can I borrow something for Pansy’s?” Gwen asked while the trio walked together to their first class. 

“Sure, do you have anything in mind?” Astoria asked, hitching her bag up a little higher. 

“Actually yeah, do you know that spaghetti strap tank you have? The navy one?” Gwen asked and Astoria grinned knowingly. The top was skimpy and it would make Gwen look unresistable. 

“Yeah, I think it’s at the bottom of my trunk but you’re welcome to it.” Astoria grinned and Gwen grinned back. 

“So, what zip-up hoodie are you thinking about? Your green one or your gray one?” Astoria teased Clive’s directionless style. 

“I wear things besides zip up hoodies.” Clive narrowed his eyes, only a little offended. 

“Your school uniform doesn’t count.” Gwen quipped and Clive’s jaw dropped in fake shock and insult. 

“I’m gonna get you guys back one day. You forget I know every single crush you two have ever had.” Clive threatened but both girls simply shrugged it off like it wasn’t the least bit concerning. 

“Even the one you had on Ron Weasley.” Clive whispered into Astoria’s ear and her mouth dropped. The young witch quickly pivoted and put all her weight into shoving Clive, only half playfully. 

“I swear on merlin if you ever mention that again, I will curse you so that all zip up hoodies give you a rash for the rest of your life!” Astoria jokingly and lazily held her wand out in Clive’s direction 

“Miss Greengrass!” Professor McGonagall called from across the hallway, Astoria’s eyes widened quickly and she shoved her wand into her cloak. “Stop walking, I’d like a word with you! Miss Caron and Mr. Holloway, please stay as well.” The Transfiguration professor and head of Gryffindor looked livid as she approached the trio. Professor McGonagall looked straight at Clive and Gwen, watching the dynamic carefully. 

“Mr. Holloway, was Miss Greengrass threatening you?” 

“No.” Clive said quickly. 

“Really? She didn’t raise her wand at you?” Professor McGonagall was refusing to look at Astoria who felt tears gather in her eyes at the prospect of being so hated by a teacher she revered so deeply. 

“It was a joke. I threatened to tell everyone about her crush on Ron Weasley from first year.” Clive overshared and Astoria’s head snapped to him angrily. She couldn’t believe he’d tell their professor about the crush. When Astoria felt McGonagall’s eyes finally on her, she lifted her gaze to meet them. The Professor had an amused smile, which felt a little out of place and sharply different from the previous anger. 

“I obviously don’t have a crush on him anymore.” Astoria rushed out and McGonagall nodded quietly. 

“Five points from Slytherin for raising your wand at another classmate. Now get to class before you’re late.” The Professor was gone. 

“I think she thought you turned to the dark side,” Gwen mumbled, watching the professor’s retreating figure. 

“The Dark Side?” Astoria laughed. 

“Yeah, you know, the pure blood fanatics.” Gwen sighed. 

“The fascists.” Clive grumbled crossing his arms against his chest as they walked to class in silence. 

**~**

Gwen and Astoria stood in front of their mirror. 

“I can enchant your make up if you want, my sister taught me how this summer.” Astoria said as she tried on a different pair of pants. 

“Magical Makeup? Sign me up. If it can do whatever it did to Tracey’s nose in second year I’m in.” Gwen giggled. 

“I’m pretty sure that was a complicated magical procedure.” Astoria grinned. 

“I knew it was too good to be true.” Gwen laughed and Astoria settled on a pair of dark green pants with tons of pockets and a thin black halter top. Gwen glanced over. 

“I love!” She exclaimed, “Are cargo pants in for wizards?” Gwen glanced around. 

“Not sure,” Astoria admitted. 

“I hate how against jeans Slytherins are, they’re really missing out.” Gwen sighed. 

“Agreed.” Astoria remembered how fashionable and good looking all the muggles in London were with their low rise jeans. 

Finally, the two girls settled are their decidedly not too wizard but not too muggle outfits, and Astoria knew they both looked good. Not really in the respectful neat put together pureblood way she was supposed to look good in, but instead in the trendy fashionable slightly muggle way she preferred. 

“Clive is gonna go nuts.” Astoria said noting the short skirt and Gwen’s long tan legs on display. 

“I know,” Gwen grinned devishly, “I figured this is my last chance for a skirt until spring.” 

“You’re certainly taking advantage of that.” Astoria smiled. 

The trio entered the common room together, after waiting for most people to be as drunk as possible. The bottles of fire whiskey that had been snuck in through owl and family friends was significant and it was easy to grab a whole bottle. Like most parties there were extensive charms cast keeping professors and prefects out and blocking the noise. 

The noise was also pretty loud, wizard rock music blasted from the gramophone, magically amplified. There were groups of people dancing around the couches, people playing games by the fire and then groups of people scattered chatting on the opposite side of the gramophone. It felt reminiscent of last year to be surrounded by Slytherins who seemed relatively unbothered by the trios presence. 

They each took a long chug of the fire whiskey before joining some fifth years playing exploding snap. They barely acknowledged them as they expanded the circle, too drunk to discriminate at the moment, Astoria figured. 

Clive was fierce at exploding snap, and so therefore was unsinged and not that drunk by the end. Gwen and Astoria on the other hand had to use scurgeify multiple times and had to grab a second bottle of firewhiskey to share after being forced to finish the first. 

“You and Clive should go dance,” Astoria grinned knowingly. “I’m gonna run up to my room to grab the candies.” Astoria smiled. 

Gwen swayed a little to the music, already pretty drunk and she smiled at Astoria’s attempt to stick the two together. “Don’t let anyone take them without us though,” Gwen smiled and Astoria promised before taking her time to get to the dorm. She stopped in the washroom along the way to go to the bathroom and was some of the dust that she’d gotten under her nails during the game. On her way to the dorm she passed Crabbe and Goyle. 

“Hey, what are you doing on the girls side?” Astoria demanded, hating that her words slurred as the suspicious looking duo grinned disgustingly. Astoria winced at all the possible reasons why those two would be on the girls side, and simply hoping that whatever slimy thing they’d been up to wouldn’t ruin someone’s reputation tomorrow. 

Astoria quickly grabbed the bowl of enchanted sweets and ducked out of her room, she wandered back into the party and smiled when she saw Gwen and Clive whispering in each other’s ears intimately. Astoria waited a couple minutes, not wanting to break her promise but also not wanting to break the two of them up. 

“Let’s give out the candy!” Astoria said after a while, and the two nodded. Astoria climbed up onto a table and enchanted the candies quickly so they’d fly out and shower the common room. 

“CANDY!” Astoria cried out as the sweets went flying, Slytherins grabbed them and didn’t think twice before popping them in their mouths. In seconds people were transformed, their hair, their bodies, their voices. People were laughing and shouting and running around. 

Astoria watched joyfully as Pansy’s hair turned bright pink. She looked down at it and screeched, Astoria caught sight of who she thought was Zabini, he’d turned into a human sized elephant and was roaring. Astoria heard what sounded like monkeys from the opposite side of the room, and someone else started floating. Lizzy’s face had turned into a rats’ face and she was stomping over to Astoria. 

“I know you did this.” Lizzy growled, and Astoria blinked, her sluggish and drunk responses struggling to catch up and register the screaming witch and wand digging into her neck. Lizzy’s face had morphed, so she had a long rat nose complete with whiskers, her eyes were a scary beedy and dark black, and her teeth had become small and long. When she spoke there was a distuinguishable lisp that in any other circumstance would be funny. 

“Relax, it’ll be gone in under an hour.” Gwen spoke up from behind Astoria and Lizzy shrieked, quickly casting a hex at Gwen who managed to deflect it just in time. Lizzy turned back to Astoria, jamming her wand back into Astoria’s jugular. 

“How fucking dare you!” Lizzy screamed at no one in particular, and Astoria could feel the room quieting. Some of the candies were already wearing off, the hair color ones the only ones that showed no sign of wearing off soon. Someone had turned the music down, and all eyes were on them. 

“Get off me,” Astoria grumbled, attempting to push Lizzy’s wand out of her neck, Lizzy just dug it in deeper. 

“Lizzy relax, it was just a harmless joke,” Ansley emerged from the crowd, clearly concerned about her friends possible reaction. As Ansely said that Astoria watched Lizzy’s face return to normal. 

“I could kill you right now and the ministry wouldn’t even lift a finger since you’re a dirty fucking blood traitor.” Lizzy threatened and Astoria shoved Lizzy off of her. Lizzy stumbled back but eventually caught her balance and pointed her wand at Astoria. 

“Try then,” Astoria had taken her wand out, prepared to deflect any curse fired at her. Astoria wondered briefly if her Protego could stop an unforgivable. Lizzy fired something at Astoria that was certainly not an unforgivable and Astoria blocked it with ease. Lizzy was a bad dueler. 

In a brief moment of anger Astoria fired a jelly leg jinx, but someone else blocked it. Astoria’s head snapped to see Draco quickly approaching her, he had blocked her jinx. He roughly grabbed Astoria’s hand and grinned smarmily to the crowd. 

“Sorry for the disruption!” He quipped, and someone turned the music back on. The fight was quickly forgotten as people searched around on the ground for more candies, eager to see if they could get their hair to change into a fun color. Most ended up just being temporarily turned into an animal. 

Draco’s grip on Astoria moved from her hand to her waist as he forcefully led her out of the common room. Astoria could feel his anger from his walk but she refused to speak first, she was angry too. It was humiliating for him to just handle her like that in front of everyone, it made her look like she was a child, who was apologized for and then dragged away to get punished. 

“What were you thinking?” Draco snapped suddenly as they exited the common room. 

“It’s past curfew,” Astoria deflected, nervously listening for prefects. 

“I know, we’re going somewhere we won’t be found.” Draco huffed. 

“It was just a joke,” Astoria admitted, responding to his earlier question, and she felt Draco let out a big breath of air. 

“You shouldn’t be bringing attention to yourself like that,” He mumbled. 

“I thought people would enjoy it.” Astoria huffed and Draco shook his head. They quickly climbed staircases and Draco led her down a hall where a door appeared. He pulled her into it. 

“What is this place?” Astoria asked as she looked around a room full of things that went back as far as the eye could see. 

“The room of requirement.” Draco mumbled. 

“How did you know about it?” Astoria asked. 

“I just do.” Draco deflected, leading Astoria over to an area with a couch and a rug, nestled between stacks and stacks of artifacts. On the coffee table there were notes and scribble in Draco’s handwriting and it looked like he’d spent some time on this couch. 

“Astoria,” Draco whispered softly and Asotria looked up at him, he took a step closer so they were inches apart. 

As Draco stood over Astoria his gaze too intense looking down on her. Part of her wanted to fold into herself in order to escape the pressure of his watch, but a bigger part of her wanted to open up like a shell and show him her inside. She settled on biting her lip and looking back into his sharp grey eyes. 

Draco’s hand slowly made it up to the base of Astoria’s skull, tenderly wrapping his cold long fingers in her hair and then pulling tight, Astoria’s lips parted from the sharp pain and her head angled up just slightly. Draco slowly leaned down, his lips just barely brushing up against her, but the tenderness of the action made Astoria shiver. 

Draco was painfully slow and calculated and it made Astoria’s nerves so jumpy she felt fried. His other hand drifted over the skin on Astoria’s arm so lightly she got goosebumps. Draco’s gaze was suddenly all over her body and Astoria relished it, she’d never felt so seen before. 

And then he was kissing her again, using his hand as leverage and controlling Astoria’s head, the direction and the pressure she could use. Astoria found she sort of liked having him in control like this, like she could just focus on the way Draco’s lips felt on hers and let him make all the decisions and choose what happens next. Draco broke the kiss and started sucking and biting Astoria’s neck, if her brain was working at all like it should she probably would’ve been embarrassed by the breathless moan that escaped her lips at the feelings Draco was creating against her neck. 

“Draco,” Astoria’s voice was so whiny it and raspy it didn’t sound like her own. 

“Yes?” When he came up from Astoria’s neck, his hair had been tousled, and his skin looked blushed. He no longer seemed like the ice-cold man who had peered down at her moments before and Astoria felt a guilty sort of pride at his dishevelment like it was an honor to be able to elicit this kind of unraveling. 

“Are you sure no one is going to come in here?” Astoria didn’t like how unsure her voice sounded, how vulnerable and how innocent. It didn’t feel right here. 

“Yes. I’m positive.” Draco whispered into her hair. 

Draco navigated them to the couch and let Astoria climb on top of his lap, his hands guiding her hips to rub against him, it made the pit of Astoria’s stomach warm with. Draco’s grip was tight and he broke their kiss, their foreheads pressed together, breathing heavily into each other’s faces. 

“Can I take off your shirt?” Astoria asked weakly and Draco nodded forgetting their heads were pressed together, lightly knocking into Astoria. 

“Sorry,” Draco rushed out but Astoria just smiled, already set to work on unbuttoning his top, when she was done he quickly shimmied out of it and then reached to pull Astoria’s halter top off. Astoria lifted her hands to help. Astoria stood up and quickly took her pants off, while Draco struggled getting his off in the sitting position. 

And then they were both in just their underwear, Astoria climbed back on top of him, kneeling instead of sitting on his lap, so he had to look up at her, her hair falling around like a curtain hiding their faces. 

“Can we have sex?” Astoria asked softly and Draco’s hands immediately steadied her waist. 

“I want to, but I don’t want to fight after.” Draco said vulnerably. “And I want you to do it because..” Draco looked like he was searching for the words, Astoria felt her heart pound in her chest as he tried to think of them, “I want you to want it because you want me, just me.” Draco added, uncomfortably shifting underneath her. 

“I want you.” Astoria rushed out. And an uncharacteristically bashful smile broke out on Draco’s face as one of his hands left Astoria’s waist to slowly start rubbing her through her underwear. Astoria closed her eyes in pleasure, her forehead once again pressing against his. Astoria reached down between their bodies and lightly dragged her fingers around Draco’s dick. Draco jumped a little at the first contact, and now it was him squirming under her touch. 

That didn’t last seconds because suddenly Draco was pulling his boxers off, and Astoria followed suit by pulling her underwear down. Draco’s eyes were suddenly intense again, staring at her. He watched her so carefully Astoria couldn’t decide if she felt like an animal at a zoo or if she felt like for the first time in her entire life someone was actually seeing her. 

His eyes didn’t leave her, even as she winced at the way he felt inside her, even as she closed her eyes and let her head fall back, even when she started bouncing up and down and he felt dizzy with pleasure. The image was just to delectable, him inside of her, her surrounding him, her on top. Draco couldn’t look away. 

“Can I be on top?” Draco whispered breathlessly, and Astoria nodded, not even trusting herself to speak. Suddenly she was on her back and Draco was between her legs, slowly pushing in. While on top he’d pull all the way out before pushing all the way back in, and then pulling out all the way before pushing back in. They were long hard strokes, and Astoria felt her whole body jostle with each one. 

Astoria dug her hands into Draco’s hair and started kissing him furiously. He started picking up his pace, and one hand moved down to rub Astoria’s clit, which resulted in a moaning mess. Astoria squirmed under his touch as she felt something build up in her core. 

Suddenly her moaning stopped, and her face screwed up and Astoria felt warmth explode from the tips of her toes, and fireworks erupt in her stomach. She felt dizzy and disorientated like she was floating in a warm pool while shocks of pleasure ebbed through her body. It was almost scary. 

Astoria’s big eyes blinked back into focus, Draco had stilled to watch her, his chest rising and falling just as rapidly as hers. Astoria felt so tired but safe under Draco’s watchful eye. 

“Was that okay?” Draco asked, his cock painfully constricted by her orgasm, ready to burst. 

“Mhm,” Astoria nodded, using her grip to pull him down into another kiss. He only managed a couple more strokes before he himself came, his grip tightening on Astoria’s waist, his face screwing up, and his breath becoming ragged. 

Draco shifted them so Astoria’s head was against his check, and he began dragging his fingers up and down her bare back. 

“Astoria?” He whispered softy. 

“Yeah?” Astoria kept her eyes closed and snuggled closer against Draco’s smooth chest. 

“I wish you’d listen to me.” He whispered into her hair. Astoria was too tired to try and figure out what he meant so she just hummed before closing her eyes and falling asleep.


End file.
